Dungeons & Dragons, Season two

Bobby:
Sure..we'll get the kid Home!

Shelia:
Bobby that's RUDE...Terri is the same age you are. (Bobby and Terri ride the chicken lizards before falling off)

Terri (laughs):
Where did you learn to ride?

Bobby (laughs):
NO place... I don't know how!

Bobby:
Eric what are you doing?

Eric:
Being stupid what else!

Eric:
Melted SHUT! THREE GUESSES WHO DID IT!

Bobby:
VENGER.

Hank:
Wait you guys...Stop it...KNOCK IT OFF.

Venger:
Afraid? Be not, you are free to use the portal to enter your World...But first bring her to ME.

Dinah:
YOU WANT HER....COME AND GET HER! (after Bobby carries Terri to the portal)

Bobby:
Terri, you go on..through...we staying, we gotta stop this place from TRAPPING ANYONE ELSE.

Terri:
I'm not going without you.

Bobby:
Sorry Terri.

Terri:
You'll find a way out of this crazy world...Bobby the Barbarian, remember what the Dungeonmaster said to me... (Terri and Fritz go through the portal to the amusement park)

Eric:
(to Dungeon Master) What this time, oh terrible tour guide?

Eric:
You're the leader, what do we do?

Hank:
The only thing we can do - run!

Eric:
(running) I coulda thought of that!

Hank:
(disbelieving) Make friends with Venger?

Eric:
Oh, sure - how are we supposed to do that?

Presto:
Buy him another horn for his helmet?

Venger:
Beware what you say when you speak of magic, wizard, or you shall see who has the greater power. As for you, Ranger, you have destroyed that which I created. How, I am not yet certain, but you have restored the balance. Now, we are even. The next time we meet.... EXPECT NO FAVORS.

Hank:
LIKEWISE, Venger.

Venger:
(leaving) SO BE IT.

Sheila:
Hey.... you think maybe Venger's not all bad?

Eric:
Sure, and Genghis Khan was a stand-up comic.

Dungeon Master:
(far behind) You are wrong, Cavalier. There was good in Venger, once. A long time ago. Everyone makes mistakes. Venger was mine.

Eric:
Oh, come on, I know exactly where we are!

Presto:
Yeah, a hundred miles from nowhere and fifty miles from anyplace.

Dungeon Master:
Patience, young ones. You will find both safety, and danger ahead.

Sheila:
Do we have to find both?

Eric:
What do you mean, "we"? "We" means us! Me and them! I know who they are! They know who I am! But who are you?!

Sheila:
(cornered) Uh-oh! End of the road!

Bobby:
[Turns] You mean for them.

Presto:
Aw, Hank, can't we stay? Ramuud's awfully nice.

Diana:
Yeah, it's the next best thing to having a real dad.

Eric:
(depressed) Are you kidding? He's better than my dad ever was.

Jimmy:
Hi, Sheila! Hi, Bobby! How did you guys get in my dream?

Sheila:
Dream? This is real!

Eric:
As soon as you get home, call our parents!

Bobby:
Tell them we're okay! Tell them everything's okay!

Hank:
We'll be home as soon as we find a portal back!

Jimmy:
Wait a minute, are you guys cracked? This is Sunday night, you guys went to the amusement park and I couldn't go because I had homework, remember? And I'm asleep now, and this is just a dream.

Presto:
No, no! I-It's real, and we're lost! Tell our parents!

Jimmy:
I'm sure! Look, I'll see you in the morning at school, okay? Then you can show me another one of your dumb card tricks, eh, "Presto"? (laughs) See you around, guys. (disappears)

Cloud Bear:
(describing "The Green Ones") They have ugly flat noses, and tusks that stick up, and mean eyes!

Presto:
Wait a minute, I know that description. (walks off, thinking) It's coming.... it's coming- (walks into Orc captain) Aaaahhh! It's here!

Eric:
We're outnumbered ten to one!

Diana:
All right, then, you take two, I'll take eighteen.

Orc:
(mocking Hank after he has been exiled from the Cloud Bear city) What's the matter, human? Got no friends no more?

Dungeon Master:
There are many matters that require my attention, Cavalier. The life of a Dungeon Master is not an easy one.

Eric:
Are you kidding me? You have all this power and you never even use it! Boy, if I was Dungeon Master, I'd have it made!

Dungeon Master:
What an interesting proposition! And it's true, I could use a little rest. Very well, Cavalier, I ACCEPT YOUR OFFER.

Presto:
Just how far is it to this city, Eric?

Eric:
How am I supposed to know?

Presto:
You're Dungeon Master, remember?

Eric:
Oh. Right. Let's see, what would Dungeon Master say? (in a riddle-like tone) "You will find it, unless it finds you first; it is a long way off- yet in truth, it is very near!" (normal) How was that?

(the other kids boo him)

Eric:
We'll have to leave our weapons here.

Bobbi:
Can't we take her [Uni] with us?

Eric:
I'm sorry she would not survive in our world. My magic will protect her.

Eric:
Hurry! Get through the portal before it closes! I'll hold Venger off!

Hank:
You're crazy. He's got our weapons and the Grimoire! What makes you think you can stop him?

Eric:
Because I have to! Because ....I'M DUNGEON MASTER!

Eric:
Not a chance, Horn-Head! C'mon! Take your best shot! Put up your dukes, let's see what you've got. Only one of us will survive this fight, and it's not gonna be ME! .... That's NOT RIGHT.

Venger:
(advancing) Did you really believe a child like you could be Dungeon Master? This is your WORST mistake ever here, and it will be your LAST.

Eric:
(imprisoned) "Regular"? We're giant-sized! C'mon! What's the matter with you guys? So we don't have our weapons - we still got our voices!

Bobby:
Huh?

Eric:
(shouting and banging a plate against the window) I wanna see my lawyer! There's no TV in my cell! What about my phone call? I demand my riiights! [...] ...I've never been in a prison with such bad food! There's no ketchup on my French fries! And there's no French fries! HEY!

Sheila:
But how are we going to sneak past those two ugly orcs?

Eric:
I hear unicorns make great decoys-

Bobby:
(hugging Uni) Forget it!

Presto:
Venger is putting us ON ICE.

ERic:
YOU MEAN IN ICE.

Dinah:
Somebody better do something...or we'll be stuck in this deep freeze forever.

Shadow Demon:
Master there is no sign of them

Venger:
WHAT THEY HAVE ESCAPED AGAIN? THIS IS THE LAST TIME

Bobby:
Sis I hate this I don't want to be in this World any more...I want Mom and Dad and my home and friends...

Eric:
This is all Venger's fault. We oughta do something about that guy.

Hank:
(twists bow, then throws it to the ground) Eric is RIGHT.

Eric:
I AM?

Hank:
Yeah. And we are going to do something about it.

Eric:
We ARE?

Hank:
The only chance we have of getting out of this world is if we take care of Venger ONCE AND FOR ALL.

Shelia:
But nobody can beat Venger not even Dungeounmaster...

Hank:
There is one creature who can TIAMAT

Eric:
YOUR CRAZY...

Hank:
Have you got a better idea...? I THOUGHt not

Dinah:
Hank,,TIAMAT the most Dangerous dragon in the Realm..How are we going to persuade her to fight Venger?

Shelia:
IF we get Venger..What will we Do to him once we have him?

Dungeon Master:
Listen to me Ranger. Do not let your anger control you. (the kids close in) The course you are taking.... can only.... lead.... to.... ruin? (defeated) So then, it has come to this: Tiamat lives where the dragons go to die. The place that is the source of your weapons: the Dragon's Graveyard. As for to use her to overcome Venger-

Hank:
No riddles! Tell us straight.

Dungeon Master:
Ask her! She may help you. But then.... she MAY NOT. May I go now?

Hank:
Wait Dungeonmaster... how do we find the way to the Dragons graveyard?

Dungeon Master:
You carry the way with you ranger.Let it start with you

Eric:
Venger gone ballistic

Venger:
GIVE ME YOUr WEAPONS NOW OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES

Hank:
Venger. He's blasting the rocks. Trying to get to us.

Bobby:
Good. I'm ready for him!

Eric:
That's a comfort.

Venger:
They are gone BUT WHERE?

Eric:
(in the Dragon's Graveyard) Now what?

Hank:
Now we find Tiamat.

Eric:
(looks around at the skeletons) How do we know which one of these is her?

Presto:
Simple, dummy: she'll be the one who attacks us.

Tiamat:
What do YOU know of (hissing) VENGER?!

Hank:
Dungeon Master said you could help us beat him.

Tiamat:
In the Dragons' Graveyard, your weapons are more powerful than VENGER! But, you must face him here, and, in that, I CAN help you! (flies away through a dimensional portal)

Venger:
I must have those weapons thay are all that stands between me and the Realm...TIAMAT

Tiamat:
You shall have your chance at the weapons..IN the DRAGONS GRAVEYARD

Venger:
This is the end for ALL of YOU!

Bobbi:
(enraged over attack against Shelia and Uni) WRONG wise guy! THIS IS THE END for YOU!

Venger:
Why.... did you not finish me?

Hank:
Because if I did, we'd be no better than you are. We've beaten you, and you know it! Do you understand, Venger? I didn't do it for you: I did it for us.

Hank:
Dungeon Master.... What happens now?

Dungeon Master:
That is up to you, Ranger. But know this: you have taken your first step home.

Travar:
What do you want of me, Serus?

Serus:
You know why. Tell me why, Travar.

Travar:
(nervous) An accident- an-an oversight...

Serus:
Indeed? What a coincidence that on the very day of star-fall, the only one who can fulfill the prophecy and end my reign as queen escapes from your dungeon! You have until tonight to capture him. The prophecy must not come true! You will not allow it to, will you... (sarcastically) my king....

Note this was a pretty good epsiode:
except it has a continuity error: Venger resembles five skeleton warriors to attack the kids-yet only four are shown being defeated by Bobbi; Presto; Diana; and Eric apeice! (One is shown making a whirlwind spell against Shelia; although not shown Presumedly it is implied he was defeated by shelia)