Chuck, Season 3

Awesome:
Still playing the loser cover? You're nailing it.

Chuck:
Not a cover, it's my life. I was fired. For real. I'm not a spy anymore and to be perfectly honest I'm not sure I ever really was.

Awesome:
[in disbelief] So wait, this is really you?

Chuck:
Maybe we should be introduced, I'm Chuck Bartowski: total loser, cheeseball addict.

Casey:
Poor bastard.

Sarah:
Who?

Casey:
Moron that's still in love with you.

Sarah:
I promise you, Casey he is not in love with me.

Casey:
Oh, come on. I don't know what happened between you two. Don't want to. Just saying, I've seen men have their fingernails pulled out treated more humanely than you did that kid.

Sarah:
I was just doing my job.

Casey:
Job's over. Put him out of his misery. He deserves that much.

Sarah:
Ever since you went to Prague I have worked with the best spies in the world and you know what?

Chuck:
They're on their way here to save us?

Sarah:
None of them can do what you can do. You're a spy now flash on Javier and get us out of here.

General Beckman:
Sarah, I need you to keep Chuck's emotions in check so the Intersect can work. He listens to you. But he's also an unstable element.

Sarah:
Do you think he's dangerous?

General Beckman:
Very. But he's worth the risk. For the last two years, we've protected Chuck from the world. But now we have to protect the world from Chuck.

Ellie:
This isn't about you, Chuck. This is about us. We needed a place for two. And you can get a roommate, you know. You have plenty of friends.

Morgan:
I'm so happy right now!

Ellie:
Other friends, Chuck. Other friends.

Morgan:
Carina is not just some girl, okay, she's basically a Swedish supermodel. The country's greatest export since Björn Borg.

Jeff:
People mistake me for him all the time.

Carina:
And Casey will pose as my father.

Casey:
Check your math, sister. I'll play your brother.

Carina:
That's a bit of a stretch, Colonel.

Chuck:
Yeah, Casey. Uh, I think you have dungarees that are older than Carina.

Chuck:
And the decision that I made in Prague. I know what it looks like, I know that it looks like I chose being a spy over-over being with you. But that's not what happened. How I felt about you was real. Very, very real. And I know that you know how I felt about you for a long time, you know. But when Carina told me what you said, those three words that I've waited to hear for so long. Look Sarah, I know. You were probably very hurt. You're probably hurt that I didn't run away with you in Prague...Sarah, I love you.

Morgan:
[to Carina] Just because you're a beautiful woman that I would give up a non-vital organ to make love to doesn't give you the right to show up with this clown and humiliate me in front of my friends.

Chuck:
There's gotta be a contingency plan if enemy agents infiltrate my house. Like a button you push that calls that cavalry so they can swoop in and get everyone out. Where's the button?

Casey:
Me. I'm the button.

Awesome:
Sorry, dude, didn't mean to scare you.

Chuck:
Really, well then maybe you shouldn't be sneaking in my room in the middle of the night.

Chuck:
I had a CIA mission.

Awesome:
What exactly does that mean?

Chuck:
Well you know, same old same old. Bad guy throws a fancy cocktail party. Another bad guy is trying to sell him a weapon. We bust both bad guys. Diffuse a bomb. Blah blah blah.

Casey:
But haven't you personally given me the order to kill that commie crackpot on three separate occasions?

General Beckman:
And three times, you have failed to complete your orders.

Sarah:
Thought you said you had a perfect record.

Chuck:
Wow. This is getting entertainingly uncomfortable.

Awesome:
So you come up with a plan yet?

Chuck:
Oh yeah. Yeah, the plan is: Sarah and I are going to sneak out of here, and save Casey. While you stay here and save the Premiere. We just gotta take care of those two guards there.

Awesome:
Those two soldiers with machine guns. You and what army?

Chuck:
Uh, that would be Sarah, and, uh, her fists.

Assassin:
There's enough poison in this needle to kill an army platoon.

Casey:
Lucky for me, I'm a marine.

Casey:
Chuck, stop freaking out.

Chuck:
Oh, I'm not freaking out. I'll tell you why I'm not freaking out: that would require me overreacting and I don't think it's technically possible to overreact to my brother-in-law being kidnapped!

Morgan:
[to Big Mike] Well, it's just a little unusual that you call me before I even had time to screw anything up.

Big Mike:
Usually mornings are Big Mike Time. Time for reflection and pastry.

Awesome:
You're incredible; is that your spy training?

Chuck:
Duck Hunt, Nintendo.

Awesome:
Geez, this guy's heavy.

Chuck:
Yeah, well, bad guys don't count carbs, buddy.

Shaw:
Is Chuck Bartowski a real spy?

Sarah:
Yes, of course he is. I mean his training has been irregular and he was a civilian only two years ago.

Shaw:
Well, these mission reports tell different story. Sometimes he sounds like Bond, and other times it's like a Jerry Lewis movie.

Chuck:
Listen, I'm an integral member of this team, okay? My voice should be heard.

Casey:
Oh, your pre-pubescent girl screams are going to be duly noted.

Jeff:
[Casey's smoking a cigar] This is a no smoking store.

Morgan:
Thanks Jeff. You know what, my lieutenant has the right to smoke a cigar if he wants. Or he can put it out. Mr. Casey.

[Casey puts out the cigar in his hand]

Morgan:
Anyone else want to leave?

Chuck:
[the flight attendant pulls a weapon on Chuck] I am so writing a letter to the airline about this.

Lester:
[under the effects of brainwashing] Morgan Grimes is the kindest, warmest, most understanding human being I've ever known in my life.

Casey:
Yogurt time.

Chuck:
Most important meal of the day.

Jeff:
It's my constitutional right to fornicate!

Casey:
Credit card charges: mostly video games, comic books. Phone records indicate only one female caller in the last year: sister.

Chuck:
I feel so sorry for this guy, he seems so lonely.

Casey:
Oh, whoops. That's your old file, Bartowski.

Chuck:
What's in Dubai?

Casey:
Weap-Con, the greatest weapons convention in the world. I go every year. I find it incredibly relaxing. It looks like I'll get to write this year's off as a business trip.

Morgan:
Anything you want to tell me about?

Chuck:
No. Is there Anything you want to ask me?

Morgan:
No.

Chuck:
Okay, good talk!

Morgan:
One of our best!

Hannah:
Who is that?

Morgan:
Super hot blond, heart of ice? Yeah. That's Chuck's ex, Sarah.

Hannah:
Oh. What's their deal?

Morgan:
Well, deal is Sarah dumped his ass and, uh, broke his heart. And now she can't resist coming back here to stomp on it.

Hannah:
[about Sarah and Shaw] Any idea what she's doing here? other than making you jealous with that ridiculously good looking date of hers?

Chuck:
Ridiculously good looking? Wha- him, him? Meh, yeah if you're into that strong, Supermany type of a guy.

Nicos Vassilis:
[realizing that Chuck stole the mask] Oh, he's good. A real Casanova this one...He used the blond to get into the vault...and seduced the computer girl to access the security system.

Sarah:
Chuck, you're not going to have us forever. The Intersect was designed so agents could work autonomously.

Shaw:
We're your training wheels and your performance tells me that it's about time for us to come off.

Casey:
I hope you're ready for your big boy bike, Bartowski.

Chuck:
If I have to see you with someone else, it might as well be a hero. Right?

Sarah:
What can I say? I have a type.

[Chuck has adopted an assassin's persona]

Casey:
Not bad, Bartowski.

Chuck:
Who the hell is "Bartowski"?

Casey:
Walker and Shaw knew you were in over your head. They went to fix dinner for your date.

Chuck:
They did, huh?

Casey:
Yeah. Weird huh? Walker helping you get laid.

Big Mike:
I'm not gonna lie to you, boys. Bartowski is killing it with the ladies.

Lester:
I know. First there was that hot girl from Stanford...

Jeff:
Jill.

Lester:
Yeah.

Jeff:
Then the brunette with the overpriced deli...

Big Mike:
Lou. She was a fine, miniature piece of woman.

Lester:
And now Hannah! I'd like to moisturize her feet with my saliva.

Jeff:
Don't you get it? None of them matter. Chuck may try to replace her...but when he's with Sarah, the light in his eyes shines brightly.

Big Mike:
[tearing up] Damn onions.

Casey:
Five people in the world can make this shot, huh? Guess I'm one of them.

Hannah:
[to Chuck, after he breaks up with her] Look, I have dated a lot of liars before, so I usually know how to spot them. But you...You're, like, the best I've ever seen...I hope that your lies keep you warm at night.

Morgan:
I cannot believe I'm saying this, but you're fired.

Chuck:
What? You're firing me from the Buy More?

Morgan:
Buy More? No. Are you kidding me? You're the best Nerd Herder we have. I need you here. I'm firing you as my best friend!

Del:
Well, it's an interesting group of employees you've put together here.

Big Mike:
Oh, they scare me too. Ha ha ha.

Casey:
Because the only thing I hate more than hippie, neo-liberal fascist anarchists are the hypocrite fat-cat suits they eventually grow up to become.

Morgan:
So if Sarah is your handler, does that make her your beard? In other words, like...Is your whole relationship a fake? Because, ah, buddy, that's-that's just awful.

Chuck:
Why, because we never had sex?

Morgan:
No, I just felt like, having to be...You never had sex with that girl? That's not...No, no, it's awful you had to pretend to be in a relationship with somebody that you clearly love.

Chuck:
Sarah and I are over, you know.

Morgan:
No, you're not. You're a good liar, Chuck, but you're not that good, all right? You lied to me for three years but I always knew. You loved that girl. I mean, I saw the way you looked at her. We all did. It's okay, you don't have to deny it. You tell me you don't love Sarah.

Chuck:
You know what, you're right buddy. I do love Sarah. I kept telling myself that I didn't. That I wouldn't, I couldn't but I do...Morgan, you have no idea how badly I needed to get all this off my chest. Thank you.

Shaw:
We'll just have to put Grimes in Witness Protection. We'll move him out of Burbank tonight after dark.

Chuck:
Wait, wait, wait, no, no, no. Hang on-hang on a second, Morgan is not going anywhere. Okay.

Shaw:
Chuck, he knows your secret.

Chuck:
Yeah well so do a lot of people. Awesome knows and we didn't put him underground.

Casey:
Yeah, because Awesome's awesome and Grimes is a moron.

Shaw:
It's just too dangerous. We have no reason to believe we can trust him.

Chuck:
Yes, we do. We have 22 reasons why we can trust him. That's the number of years that Morgan has been my best friend. And yes he has his faults,granted, but one thing he is, is loyal. And he will never betray me or my secret.

Sarah:
He's right.

Chuck:
Thank you. Look, I'm flashing, I'm a spy again because I have my best friend back. You need the intersect and I need him. So Morgan Grimes is staying exactly where he belongs which is the Burbank Buy More.

[Chuck & Morgan watching Morgan's stakeout video]

Morgan:
Twenty-one hundred & forty-three pm. There's a chill in the air and a hint of vanilla. [Chuck advances videotape] Man enters Casey's apartment.

Chuck:
[Watching Morgan's recording and hearing a static sound] Is that static?

Morgan:
Carrots, actually.

[Chuck stares at him]

Morgan:
Well, I'm sorry, I get hungry on a stakeout.

Sarah:
I thought you had changed.

Chuck:
What do you mean?

Sarah:
Look, I know that you wanna be the perfect spy and I know what it means to you and what you sacrificed to get there. But, please don't lose that guy that I met three years ago. Don't give up on the things that make you great.

Chuck:
I'll always be that guy.

Colonel Keller:
Tonight at 2200, Lt Alex Coburn will be killed in battle, die a hero and will be given a hero's funeral. From this point on your name is John Casey. Make it a good life soldier.

Casey:
[to Chuck] I made my decision between love and love of country a long time ago, and it was the right decision for me. You have to make a decision whether that's the right one for you. Walker's a good woman. It's still not too late.

Chuck:
[to Casey] We gotta get you reinstated, buddy. Without a license to kill you are a menace to society.

Sarah:
Morning, Chuck.

Chuck:
[startled] Dah. Good, what, hi. Hi, how long...How long have you been here? Or are you really here? I...I could be asleep right now. I very well could be asleep right now. I have some of the most vivid dreams sometimes.

Sarah:
Chuck, you're awake. Please sit down. Your mission has started. This is how a real agent gets missions in the field.

Chuck:
Boy, you surprising them in the kitchen? That must involve a lot of travel.

Casey:
You're not seriously thinking that new clothes are gonna somehow make me, less me, do you?

Big Mike:
What I do know, is to get your head right, you gotta get your threads right. Now get on the box and let Clarence put some new feathers on you.

Chuck:
Well, ah, I guess that makes two changed men.

Casey:
What, you?

Chuck:
Ya...Buddy I just passed my first solo spy test last night. This is it, I'm going to the show. I-I really wanted to tell you beforehand. I'm sorry that I didn't, but you know top secret. You understand.

Casey:
You took your test last night? And you passed?

Chuck:
Oh yeah. With flying colors man...And I think we both know that I have you to thank for that. So, I...I wanted to give you a little something. [Gives Casey box ]

Casey:
Ah. [Casey opens box to see a gun inside]

Chuck:
I don't think they are going to miss it down in Castle. Do you?

Casey:
You know that giving away a government issued firearm is a felony, don't you? But it was a thoughtful felony.

Chuck:
Honestly, everything is coming up roses right now. I've passed my test...Ah, you are joining the world of human beings. So proud of you! Kudos for that. And Sarah has invited me for dinner tonight, alone at Union Station. So...

Casey:
You sure you're completed your test?

Chuck:
Yeah. Yeah, like I said, I've passed. Celebration time now.

Casey:
Okay. You just be careful out there. Ready for anything.

Chuck:
A good spy always is, right?

Chuck:
What does all this mean? Casey. I mean technically I failed my test.

Casey:
You need to understand that for Walker, Shaw and Beckmann, you passed the test. To them, you killed Perry, doing exactly what you were trained to do.

Chuck:
Yeah except that I didn't do it. You did.

Casey:
Chuck, I'm a civilian. Which means technically under the law what happened tonight was a murder. No one can know the truth about that ever. Not even Sarah. She would be implicated too.

Chuck:
But, all that means I'm not a real spy. I don't know who I am; don't know what I am.

Casey:
I can't answer that one for you Chuck.

Chuck:
Hey...Why did you do it?

Casey:
Because you weren't going to. You're not a killer Chuck.

Chuck:
Thanks.

Awesome:
Morgan? Why don't you let me handle this? No offense, but I've had my fair share of ladies.

Morgan:
That's because you live in a bubble. Okay? Take a look at yourself. Go ahead. It's a freakish bubble of handsomeness. Now look at me. No bubble, no bubble. I've gotta be completely verbal.

Morgan:
We know exactly what you look like, Shaw. Six foot two, 220, raven-black hair. Very attractive.

Jeff:
[Jeffster have been following Shaw's meeting with the ring] Stalkers log, Stalkee is behind a gray van, with another male, possibly for a sexual encounter. Both men are physically fit, should be lively.

Lester:
Jeffrey. Don't make me afraid to be alone with you.

Chuck:
Look, I don't want to pester you, Sarah uh, or become some-some nuisance that you can't avoid. I've- I've seen Morgan go down that road far too many times to count. And since I've already given the fancy, eloquent version of this speech before, right now I'm just gonna be blunt and honest. I love you. One more time just because it feels really nice to say, I love you. I feel like I've been bottling this up forever. I love you.

Sarah:
Chuck, you don't have...

Chuck:
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm-I'm getting out of hand, but, look, you were right in Prague. You and I, we're perfect for each other and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Casey:
I just wanted to come by and tell you something about Bartowski.

Sarah:
Well, if you came to plead his case, then that's really not necessary.

Casey:
No he didn't send me. He doesn't know I'm here. I just wanted to tell you something in case it changed anything. He didn't kill the mole.

Sarah:
What?

Casey:
I did. He didn't have the stones to pull the trigger. Kid's not a killer. He's just not wired that way; unlike us. Just thought you should know.

Sarah:
Thank you for saving me. I appreciated the tank.

Chuck:
She said she couldn't be with someone who didn't believe in her. Well, I believed in her. I just didn't believe in me.

Morgan:
Dude, you are misquoting the line! And you are ruining Pretty in Pink for me!

Chuck:
But earlier on in my...drunken haze...I realized that I hadn't asked you a...a question. A really important question that I'd like to ask you now if that's okay. Just once for the record...Sarah, do you love me?

[Long pause]

Chuck:
Wow. I'm, uh, I'm in my underwear. I'm sitting in my underwear holding a plastic guitar. There's a very good chance I'm making a complete fool of myself, isn't there?

Sarah:
Yes.

Chuck:
I should probably put some pants on.

Sarah:
No, Chuck...Yes.

Chuck:
What?...Uh, what?

Sarah:
Chuck, I fell for you a long long time ago. After you fixed my phone, and before you started defusing bombs with computer viruses. So, yes. [chuckles] Yes.

Chuck:
Wait, wait...What about my Red Test?

Sarah:
Casey told me. He told me that he killed the mole because you couldn't do it. And it was the best news I've ever heard. It means you haven't changed. You're still Chuck...you're still my Chuck.

Chuck:
So now they're in Paris, Sarah and Shaw, and Shaw, this time for real, he's working for the ring. Now I know, I know that you can't help me anymore, I-I know all that, but Sarah is gonna die without us. I can't do this alone.

Casey:
But I can't help you anymore. I'm not a spy.

Chuck:
But you are a spy! You're the ultimate spy!

Morgan:
Was...Chuck was, but the man's been Buy More'd. That right. You've deluded yourself into thinking Buy More is your life. Wake up John, Okay? Because we need you to get on this plane, Chuck needs you to get on this plane. If not, that's cool. You know, find yourself on Friday night with Jeff and Lester's crew hanging out in Woodland Hills. I know this because I was that guy. But Chuck and Sarah and you, Casey, you showed me that I could be so much more. I'm meant for something, to be a spy. What about you? What do you have left in the tank? What do you want to be when you grow...[Casey slams Morgan into a wall]

Casey:
Morgan go to my closet and get me my suit. The black one.

Sarah:
Shut up and kiss me.

Chuck:
Man pastries for breakfast every morning, Europe is genius!

Morgan:
Let's cut the man some slack, he's got the world's fate resting in his hands.

Casey:
Oh, I'd say he's got something else resting in his hands.

Morgan:
What do you mean?

Casey:
Chuck's off the grid with Walker. Do the math Grimes.

[Morgan stares blankly]

Casey:
He's going to need a walker when Walker's through with him.

[Morgan still doesn't understand]

Casey:
They're having intercourse idiot.

Lester:
Jeffrey, you blew the amp. Don't you know it's not the size of the instrument that matters, but how much and how long and how often your mother catches you playing?

General Beckmann:
You're part in this little impromptu mission is over. I'll arrange for Arnoldo to be picked up by a different Interpol team. Try not to physically assault them.

Chuck:
General just so you know, we didn't hit them, or assault them in any way. There was no physical altercation, we just dosed them with pharmaceutical grade narcotics.

General Beckmann:
Agent Bartowski.

Chuck:
You're right that's not making it better.

Sarah:
How's she taking it?

Chuck:
Really good I think, yeah.

Chuck:
I can't hit a girl!

Sarah:
I can!

Sarah:
General. Chuck and I am dating! Exclusively.

General Beckmann:
I must caution you, that allowing your private life to interfere with your professional one can be dangerous. But off the record. It's about damn time.

Chuck:
This is gonna be your favorite song. [plays "Feeling Good" by Nina Simone]

Mr. Turner:
Dear God, it's us 30 years ago.

Chuck:
Look, Sarah. It's us in 30 years.

Morgan:
If you ask me, this whole G man gig is starting to be a real snore. You know? When do I get to hurt on some terrorists?

Casey:
Whatever you think you know about being a spy. You're wrong.

Morgan:
Oww.

Casey:
You're a child, your a liability to the team and you're not doing anything until you've been properly trained. Understood.

Morgan:
Wait a minute, does that mean?

Casey:
I can't believe I'm going to say this.

Morgan:
I'm going to Langley.

Casey:
You're not going anywhere. Jackass. I can teach you everything you need to know right here in the store. C'mon.

Chuck:
No! No, that's not a tranq gun. I am not letting you shoot a tiger. They are endangered and majestic.

Chuck:
No guns, no flash. Honey, darling, you mind telling me what you've done with our small cache of weapons?

Sarah:
I got rid of them, sweetheart.

Chuck:
You actually listened to me?

Sarah:
I can't quite believe it myself.

Chuck:
What have you done with the gun you had at the hotel?

Sarah:
I left them in the car.

Chuck:
Why would you do that?!

Sarah:
Because you told me to!

Morgan:
Please tell me that Chuck is joking about them sending me to boot camp. They're going to make me shave my beard.

Casey:
Relax. You passed.

Morgan:
Huh? I failed every test.

Casey:
Yes flying colors. You have got to be hands down, bar none the worst candidate I've ever trained. But you got one thing going for you. You got balls.

Morgan:
I do?

Casey:
How many marines do you know go up against a Bengal tiger unarmed? You have to be a complete idiot.

Morgan:
Well, that's the thing. You know, that's, uh, that's me in a nutshell...

Lester:
I'm just gonna say it: I need a woman. It's been far too long, Jeffrey. A man has needs.

Jeff:
So what's the plan?

Lester:
I will be hitting on all the applicable women in Electronics, DVDs, and all around the entrances, and the emergency exits.

Jeff:
You're leaving me Home Appliances? It's full of lumpy housewives. My favorite.

Lester:
You're welcome.

Lester:
Well, I hate to be the one to tell you this--I don't really--but Morgan is in, a, umm...a very bad place.

Anna:
Oh, my God, is he okay?

Jeff:
No. He's focused, responsible, driven. Pains me to see a man end up like that.

Lester:
It's pathetic.

Chuck:
God, I can't believe this is happening.

Dr. Leo Dreyfus:
It's happening, Chuck. Disturbing as it may be, you're currently a patient in a psychiatric institution. Best come to terms with that sooner than later.

Chuck:
Wow. You really know how to make a guy feel better about his situation, Doc.

Sarah:
No you don't understand. He is not like other people. He is...incredibly special.

Dr. Leo Dreyfus:
Especially to you, I gather.

Sarah:
He needs to be okay. I-I need him to be okay. I'd like to go to the hospital tonight to talk to him. Try to figure this out. Help him somehow, you know?...Please, I love him.

Dr. Leo Dreyfus:
Ever tell him that?

Sarah:
Please Doctor, I am begging you.

Dr. Leo Dreyfus:
You're not the only one. [John Casey appears]

Sarah:
I love you. It shouldn't have taken me this long to say it but I've never felt this way. Before you the only future that I could think about was my next mission. And now all I can think about is a future with you. I love you, Chuck.

Chuck:
[relieved] I love you too.

Casey:
Hey, you seen Grimes?

Lester:
Lost your friend, did you? Can't find him 'cause he's changed so much? But you can't help but think about the days you guys used to drink together and hold each other for hours and hours just talking about even the silliest little things. Those days are no more.

[Stephen throws a knife at Chuck to prove he's the Intersect and Chuck catches it]

Stephen:
I knew it! You downloaded the Intersect 2.0.

Chuck:
You threw a knife at my face!

Stephen:
Why would you do that, after I worked so hard to get the first one out?

Chuck:
Dad! Knife! Face! What if you were wrong?!

Stephen:
I'm never wrong.

Stephen:
[after the fight, about Sarah's skills] Does she have the Intersect, too?

Chuck:
No, Dad. That's all her.

Morgan:
I talked to Captain Awesome.

Casey:
And?

Morgan:
If he'd have me, I'd let him.

Chuck:
[voice-over] My name is Chuck Bartowski, and if you're reading this, it means I'm already dead. I don't know what will end up killing me but I've chosen to be a spy, and there are consequences to that. It may be my emotions that end up doing me in or a slip-up, trying to protect my friends. Or my family, who never wanted me to be a part of this. Or it could be the thing I never saw coming, but I know it's coming.

Ellie:
Morgan Grimes, the boy who took my pillow as his date to the junior prom, knows more about my family being spies than I do.

Sarah:
You wanted to see me. Sir.

Shaw:
I'd be remiss if I didn't tell you you look great, Walker. Love suits you I guess.

General Beckman:
As much as it pains me to admit, you are our only hope. You are our only hope. [gets dragged out]

Devon:
[to Morgan] Dude, did she mean you or me?

Justin:
Shaw, Bartowski's infiltrated the base.

Shaw:
Of course he did. [to Sarah] Why won't your boyfriend ever think with an organ besides his heart?

Justin:
No, sir, not this one. Bartowski and his father found the other base, the Ring base. Triggered the silent alarm.

Shaw:
Dammit!

Casey:
I don't know when it happened but our boy became a man. Bartowski's a spy. You picked a good one, Walker. Finally.

[After Daniel Shaw and other Ring agents apprehend Chuck and his father Stephen, Shaw steals the Governor]

Chuck:
I don't need a watch to beat you, Shaw. Come on, aren't you a little curious? I know I am. Don't you wanna know how your intersect stacks up against mine?

Shaw:
You're right, Chuck. The fight will be incredible. We're totally equal now. Nothing separates us... Though, there's one thing that is different. You can't function when your emotions have been compromised.

Chuck:
Don't worry about that. I've never been more calm.

Shaw:
Really? How are you feeling now? [takes out his gun and fatally shoots Stephen]

Awesome:
What are we doing? We don't have a plan!

Morgan:
No plan? Never stopped me before.

Casey:
[as Ellie and Chuck drive away] Hm. Two Bartowskis. Double the fun.

Lester:
[after Jeff picks up phone for no reason] The phone did not ring, Jeffrey.

Shaw:
No Gun. Very brave, Chuck. So what's happening?

Chuck:
You're under arrest.

Shaw:
No, what are you doing here? What's your plan?

Chuck:
I'm sorry. Are you asking me to make the classic villain mistake of explaining my dastardly plot to you? You know what? I'd love to. I confess we had no idea who the Elders were or how to I.D. them so we let you do that for us, when you warned them to leave the theater. So on the behalf of the NSA, the CIA and of course your local Buy More, I'd just like to say thanks a lot.

Big Mike:
[about Jeff and Lester] Sweet Lord, they did it. They actually did it. Those crazy nerds blew up the freaking Buy More!