Final Space, Season 2

Gary:
Sounds manageable. We fly the ship, we get our freedom, we get the hell out of here. Then we find Mooncake.

Little Cato:
It doesn't, like, sound too good to be true or anything, right?

Gary:
Little Cato? Sometimes, if you're lucky, life takes the crap in your hand, and hands you two slices of bread, and turns that crap into a crap luck sandwich.

Little Cato:
You know, but the crap sandwich is, you know, still... made out of crap.

Gary:
Yeah. But there's a little bit of luck in there, too. And we're going to need it.

Gary:
Who's getting the cube from the Starchaser?

Clarence:
[points gun at him] You are! You don't think I'm going to risk my life and my children's when I have disposable you here, do you?

Little Cato:
What?!

Fox:
Back off, Ventrexian! Unless you want another thousand year war?!

Little Cato:
You back off, Tryvuulian! [hisses]

Fox:
No, you back off, Ventrexian!

Ash:
Don't hurt him! I kind of like him! ... I mean, what?

Invictus:
[to the Lord Commander's corpse] Our work isn't done yet, child... It has only begun.

Gary:
I'm gonna break a Titan out of interdimensional prison. Sticking around?

Nightfall:
Wouldn't miss it.

Clarence:
Out of my seat, primate!

Gary:
Yo. My ship, my seat.

Clarence:
Then you leave me no choice...

[Cut to Clarence sitting in Gary's lap]

Gary:
Ow. Clarence, why is there a pack of Smarties...? [disgusted] Oh! Oh, Clarence!

Clarence:
It's still my Money Compass. I'm just excited to be at the controls! Grabbing life by its succulent...!

Gary:
OH, CLARENCE, WILL YOU GET THE HELL OFF ME?!

[During the urinating contest]

Ash:
In the place of a Dark Lord, you will have a QUEEN!

Nightfall:
It's a big ship. Could be Raiders. Could be the Burner Tribe.

Gary:
Oh, Raiders? Ooh, yeah. Okay, Burner Tribe? Could have been a little bit of Burner Tribe...

Nightfall:
Let's just hope it's not the Chomper Club.

Gary:
The Chomper Club?

Nightfall:
Or half of us will be killed, skinned, and eaten alive.

Gary:
Skinned and eaten alive, that's the whole... the whole gamut there, okay. Well, you got a real sunny disposition.

Nightfall:
I have a partly cloudy disposition with a high in the mid-60s.

KVN:
Ooh, that sounds like a perfect day.

Ash:
This one's coming with me.

Little Cato:
I'm not a pet!

Ash:
Says you. I like you because you're all fluffy.

KVN:
I think he's fluffy too! Hooray!

Tribore:
If he's caught in one of these things, he only has until his "happy" runs out.

Fox:
Incoming question: how did you survive this long?

Tribore:
I'm a very jovial person.

[During a flashback of Ash seeing her sister Harp being sacrificed to Werthrent]

Ash:
[narrating] They made me watch. Something became unleashed inside of me...

Gary:
Oh, your thingy-thing?

Ash:
[annoyed] Yes, dude, my "thingy-thing".

[In the flashback, Ash angrily releases a wave of dark energy, accidentally killing her parents]

Gary:
Oh, wow. Okay, so you killed your parents?

Ash:
[sarcastic] Yeah, and that makes me a bad person, right? Oh, look at me, I'm a parent killer! Watch out!

Gary:
Uh, oh, sorry, my bad. I didn't mean parent killer in a judgmental way--

Ash:
Oh, so when you said "parent killer", you meant "Great job, Ash!" How is that not judgmental?!

Ash:
Werthrent! Show yourself! But you won't, because all you are is fear and hatred and weakness!

[Flames surround the crew and Werthrent appears]

Little Cato:
Oh my God, that's a huge snake!

Tribore:
I've seen bigger.

Ash:
You ate my sister! Give her back or I will flay you!

Werthrent:
But she serves me so well...

Ash:
Give her back!

Werthrent:
But why, when I can have you both?

Gary:
Hey! Listen! Hey, pal! Hey! Will you look at me?!

[Werthrent hisses at him]

Gary:
[nervously] All right, okay, uh... if you eat her, you gotta eat the rest of us, because we're a combo pack!

Clarence:
A "combo pack"?

Little Cato:
A combo pack!

Gary:
Like the fries! We're the fries.

Mooncake:
Chookity pok.

Gary:
You want to be the dipping sauce?

Tribore:
I've been told I would make a great dipping sauce. By whom? None of your business.

Little Cato:
I'm a onion ring!

KVN:
And I can be a napkin! Hooray!

Gary:
Oh, geez, all right, great, okay, now it's the combo pack from hell, but okay, Werthrent, are you in or are you out?!

Werthrent:
In!

Little Cato:
What's the plan?

Gary:
I didn't think that far ahead! That's not good at all!

Ash:
I thought the whole reason I got these powers was to get her back.

Nightfall:
Maybe you got them for something amazing down the line.

Ash:
You mean, something that hasn't even happened yet?

Nightfall:
Yeah, so great job, you're gonna be awesome.

Avocato:
Hey, son.

Little Cato:
What's up, dad.

Avocato:
Did you get it?

Little Cato:
Got the last piece.

Avocato:
Attaboy, I'm proud of you.

KVN:
And then what happened? I could listen to you almost die forever!

Sheryl:
What happened was me thinking "This is gonna be a cakewalk", but just my luck, a drop of Yidrian venom gets on my shirt, and boom! Off come my clothes. Just disintegrated!

Nightfall:
Ugh, give me a break.

Sheryl:
And there's Parliament watching me try to escape the castle, butt-bloody-naked! Best birthday ever.

Sheryl:
Can you fly?

Little Cato: Oh, I'm gonna fly so good. I'm gonna fly so hard and so crazy! You feel this? Fell that. [Little Cato taps his hearth with a fist, as he points at Sheryl and Gary]

Little Cato:
That's 14 years of just straight calisthenics.

Sheryl:
Confident kid, I like that.

Gary:
So you're leaving. Again.

Sheryl:
I think we both knew this was never meant to be forever. Right?

Gary:
Can I ask you one thing? Why don't you want anything to do with me?

Sheryl:
Truth? The day I lost your dad, my heart shattered. Whatever was left was too small to love anything anymore.

Gary:
Yeah. See, I would have taken even a tiny piece - just one piece.

Sheryl:
Yeah. Maybe in another life, eh? But not this one. I'll see you around, kiddo.

Nightfall:
Gary! Your mother left with that family heirloom! It was a--

Gary:
[coldly] Let me guess, a dimensional key.

Nightfall:
How did you know?

Gary:
She's good at taking what's important to me. [walks through a hatch] That woman hasn't seen the last of me. It's on.

Clarence:
Unlocker of worlds! Consumer of realms! -And world's worst niece!

Arachnitech:
When Mooncake left Final Space, he created a cosmic imbalance that weakened the walls of Final Space, making your world vulnerable to the onslaught of Titans, and their master, Invictus. As we speak, the walls holding them back are crumbling. Unless balance is restored, all will be lost.

Invictus:
YOU CANNOT HOLD ME… I'M COMING… I'M COMING…

Arachnitech:
Mooncake must be returned. Now.

Mooncake:
Chokaity...

Gary:
Mooncake! There has to be another way! Take me, I'll do anything!

Arachnitech:
Are you really willing to endanger everything for him?

Gary:
I don't know! I've lost so much... and I can't lose him too!

Invictus:
BUT GARY... ALL IS ALREADY LOST...

Invictus:
Do you think that because I can't be seen... I'm gone?

Clarence:
It's like I'm literally burning money!

Ash:
Eat flames, you dipwads! Bathe in my punishing fire!

[Gary shoots the Lord Commander with a blaster]

Gary:
You took so much from me.

Lord Commander:
And you, me.

Gary:
We lost Avocato from that bomb you sent.

Lord Commander:
Did you now? [laughs] Lovely.

[Gary shoots the Lord Commander again in the leg]

Lord Commander:
AGH! Will you quit shooting me!?

Gary:
But, we were able to go back in time and fix a few things. And, we motherlovin' saved him.

Lord Commander:
Avocato is an unstable compound. With the right push, you'll see what he's really made of.

Gary:
That's great. But it's time to kill you. And everything that has come to pass doesn't happen. Quinn, the Earth... everything.

[Suddenly, the Lord Commander is pulled up by his ship. Gary starts shooting, but keeps missing.]

Gary:
NO! NO! NO! NO!

Gary:
How do we get Avocato to recover his memory?

Ash:
On my planet, if you forgot something, they'd tie you up and beat you with pain-sticks until you remembered! And you did. You always did.

Invictus:
They don't care about you. They're dragging you down.

Avocato:
You're not Gary, are you?

Invictus:
Aw, what gave it away?

Invictus:
Your vessel is stronger than this one. I'll take you instead!

Invictus:
(In Avocato's mind) He stole your son away from you, turned him against you. Kill him. Kill him!

Invictus:
(In Avocato's mind) LIES! ALL LIES! KILL HIM!

Clarence:
Rats! You were so close! So close to death! NO!

Gary:
What are you doing with all my stuff?!

Clarence:
Dividing it up. So rude of you to survive like this!

Ash:
I was going to take your big thumper, Gary.

Gary:
You don't say?

Ash:
[putting a hand over his heart] And put it with the rest of my collection. Don't worry, you're the only heart. The rest are spleens.

Gary:
[pushes her away nervously] I'm... honored?

Clarence:
Well, this is ridiculous! Carnivolo is a holiday I invented for my own glorification! And you're bringing me diet juice drinks, a cheapo homemade greeting card, and now we're getting stingy on the lavishment?!

Ash:
It's not about what they brought, Dad. They're... family.

Gary:
They are-- We are?

Fox:
Yeah! Why don't you lavish some praises, Pop-Pop? Dump a hot steamin' load of lavish all over Gary's face!

Gary:
[uncomfortably] No. That doesn't sound... no.

Little Cato:
Hey, Ash, you coming? We're going after the keys.

Ash:
I need to watch my brother. He's all the family I have left. You know the saying. "If you love someone, throw them in a well, and if they drown, they were never yours to begin with."

Little Cato:
Nope, 'cause that's not a saying.

Sheryl:
[impaled through the shoulder] Ugh, you little bastard!

Gary:
Yep, it's me. It's the little bastard. And you're my mom. Let that sink in for a second. Have you got it? All right? Parent-teacher conferences? Baking cookies? Not crazed rampages on your boy!

Sheryl:
You caught me on an off-day.

Gary:
An "off-day"? I've never seen an on-day! I'm done being the excuse for all your mistakes! Things went the way they did with Dad because of you! You did that! And you're gonna have to live with it! [jumping] Yes! I've always wanted to say that. That is... gah! All right, let's, uh...

[He looks back at Sheryl, who has tears in her eyes, and after a moment of consideration, starts tugging on the blade in her shoulder]

Gary:
Oh, that is in there...

Nightfall:
What are you doing, Gary?

Gary:
We'll bring her back to the ship. [finally pulls it out]

Nightfall:
Why?

Gary:
Because... she's my mom.

Nightfall:
And?

Gary:
I'm gonna let you knock her out.

Nightfall:
Thanks.

Gary:
Yo! Bolo!

Bolo:
Gary, have you obtained the dimensional keys?

Gary:
We have. But! Before we get to that, real quick, I need to know something - you playing us? My mom was contacted by a buddy of yours. Does the Titan Oreskis ring any bells?

Bolo:
Oreskis? Not that guy?!

Gary:
Yeah, that guy.

Bolo:
[growls] Frickin' dickbag! And that was before his mind got poisoned. He is not to be trusted.

Nightfall:
Hey, we're not sure you can be trusted.

Gary:
He says you're evil and you're gonna destroy a bunch of important crap if you're freed.

Bolo:
He said that?! Did he also tell you that he seduced my first love, Jill, and gave her a raging case of upipiums?!

Gary:
Upipiums? The hell is that?

Bolo:
The worst! Makes you leak actual lava out of your peehole.

Gary:
Oh... that is horrifying.

Bolo:
The cranberry pills only made it worse!

Gary:
Oh, I don't know how we're gonna get out of this!

Sheryl:
Oh jeez, if only you had the best pilot in the universe. Oh, wait, you do. Sorry I'm late, love. By about, what? 30 years?

Gary:
32 years, but hey, who's counting?

Tribore:
You are, obviously.