The Walking Dead, Season 1 (2010)

Rick Grimes:
What's the difference between men and women?

Shane Walsh:
Is this a joke?

Rick Grimes:
No, serious.

Shane Walsh:
Never met a woman who knew how to turn off a light. Born thinking the switch only goes one way: on. Come home, house all lit up, and my job, you see, apparently because my chromosomes happen to be different is that I gotta walk through that house and turn off every single light this chick left on.

Rick Grimes:
Is that right?

Shane Walsh:
Yeah, baby. Oh Reverend Shane is a-preachin' to ya now, boy. Then this same chick, mind ya, she'll bitch about, uh, Global Warming. This is where Reverend Shane wants to quote from the Guy Gospel and say, "Uh, darlin' maybe if you and every other pair of boobs on this planet could just figure out that the light switch, see, goes both ways, maybe we wouldn't have so much Global Warming?"

Rick Grimes:
You say that?

Shane Walsh:
The polite version. Still, that earns me this look of loathing you would not believe and that's when the Exorcist voice pops out "You sound just like my damn Father! Always yellin' about the power bill and tellin' me to turn off the damn lights!"

Rick Grimes:
What do you say to that?

Shane Walsh:
I know what I want to say. What I want to say, "Bitch, you mean to tell me you've been hearing this your entire life and you are still too damn stupid to learn how to turn off a switch?"

Merle Dixon:
Who the hell are you, man?!

Rick Grimes:
Officer friendly. Look here, Merle. Things are different now. There are no n*ggers anymore. No dumb-as-shit-inbred-white-trash-fools either. Only dark meat and white meat. That's us and the dead. We survive this by pulling together, not apart.

Daryl Dixon:
Hey kid, what'd you do before all this?

Glenn:
Deliver pizzas. Why?

Daryl Dixon:
You got some balls for a China man.

Glenn:
I'm Korean.

Daryl Dixon:
Whatever.

[Dr. Jenner is speaking to a recording camera.]

Jenner:
Jenner here. It's Day 194 since Wildfire was declared and 63 days since the disease abruptly went global. There's no clinical progress to report. Item: I finally got the scrubbers in the east sector shut down to save power. Wish I could have done it a month ago, but it took me how long to figure it out. Too bad I never studied engineering. Could have saved a lot of amps. Item: Still not sleeping well. Can't seem to keep regular hours. Living underground doesn't help; not knowing if it's day or night. Just...feeling very...off.

[Dr. Jenner is speaking to a recording camera after the decontamination process destroyed his samples.]

Jenner:
The TS-19 samples are gone. The tragedy of their loss cannot be overstated. They were our freshest samples, by far. None of the other samples we gathered came close. Those are necrotic. Useless, dead flesh. [Pause] I don't even know why I'm talking to you. I bet there isn't a single son of a bitch still listening out there, is there? [Gets closer to the camera] Is there? Fine. Saves me the embarrassment. I think tomorrow I'm gonna blow my brains out. I haven't decided. But tonight, I'm getting drunk. [Pours a glass of wine, finishing the bottle. Shows the camera the bottle.] Speaking of which, how far do you think I can chuck this, huh? Pretty far, I bet. [Throws bottle across room, shattering it.] Oh! It is out of the stadium!

Rick:
We're gratefulJenner: The day will come when you won't be.

Daryl Dixon:
Man, I'm gonna get shit-faced drunk. again.

Rick:
We don't have to be afraid anymore. We're safe here.

Rick:
You don't know what it's like out there. You may think you do but you don't. It's only a matter of time. There's too many of those things. My boy, my wife, I never told them what I really thought. I never even hinted, just, just kept it in, kept us moving, kept it in, kept us moving.

Dale:
I see a chance to make a new start.

Daryl [to Glenn]:
Keep drinking, little man. I wanna see how red your face can get.

Carl [tasting wine]:
Eww. That's nasty

Lori:
That's my boy.

Jenner:
This is our extinction.

Daryl Dixon:
Son of a bitch. That's my deer. Look at it. All gnawed on by this....filthy, disease-bearing, motherless poxy bastard!

Daryl Dixon:
I'm gonna stomp your ass!