White Collar, Season 3

Neal:
The last person who mixed these paints was Picasso. Taking from the masters.

Mozzie:
Ah, Picasso was a communist, he'd be happy to share.

Mozzie:
Get a room!

Sara Ellis:
We are in a room!

Neal Caffrey:
MY room!

Sara:
Sweetie.

Neal:
Yes, darling.

Sara:
Did you take out the garbage?

Neal:
Darling, I shredded the garbage. You know the feds love to rummage.

Sara:
What's the grand prize on this?

Neal:
I get to take a very lovely, very dangerous woman out on a date.

Sara:
It's nothing you can't handle.

Neal:
Thanks to you.

Sara:
Ah, we actually have never been on a date.

Neal:
Peter and Elizabeth's house.

Sara:
Dinner date, not date-date.

Neal:
Define date-date.

Sara:
One on one.

Neal:
What about lunches?

Sara:
Lunch is not romantic, lunch is lunch!

Neal:
…we've never been on a real date.

Diana:
Do you cook like this for Sara?

Neal:
I haven't thought about it.

Diana:
Do think about it. The insurance agent Barbie would be impressed.

Peter Burke:
[discussing their newest case] This guy's a skilled forger, safe cracker, lots of panache, and he's only twenty years old. Think we might be looking at the next Neal Caffrey.

Neal Caffrey:
Mm-hmm. He's a hacker. I don't hack.

Peter Burke:
You're right. A Neal Caffrey for the new millennia, then.

Neal Caffrey:
When I was twenty, I didn't get caught.

Peter:
What can you tell us about him?

Neal:
(shrugs) He's a kid. He likes shiny things and steals them.

[Peter, Neal & Mozzie are all in Peter's car waiting for contact from the superhacker, "Vulture". Vulture contacts them by text messages, which are read aloud by Peter's car's Bluetooth device.]

Vulture:
Send out the handsome one.

[Peter & Neal both shrug. Neal starts to get out.]

Vulture:
The one in the back.

Mozzie:
Consider that a lesson in modesty.

Sara:
My apartment is fully under construction so until I pull my next commission check…

Neal:
You could stay with me. You know, until this is cleared up.

Sara:
Uh - At June's? You sure that's a good idea?

Neal:
Well, it's not the Four Seasons, but… I can bring you food on a little cart.

Sara:
Okay.

Peter:
I remember when Elizabeth moved in.

Neal:
No. No. This is temporary.

Peter:
Yep. So was El.

Neal:
These past few days ,they reminded me of the Palazzo Sasso, they have been perfect.

Sara:
You´re really hung up on that hotel

Neal:
It wasn´t just the hotel, it was a time of my life when I had everything I was looking for, freedom, excitement, comfort, and the right people to share it with.

Sara:
You think this may be one of those moments?

Neal:
What if I told you that we could keep living like this?

Neal:
Cryptic postcards from old friends mean trouble. [Peter looks sharply at Neal.] In my experience.

Jones:
So... I gotta ask: what does "having all" mean to Neal Caffrey?

Neal:
Never having to worry about money. Doing something meaningful with people I respect.

Jones:
[chuckling] Screw you.

Neal:
Screw me?

Jones:
Yeah... screw you. You're already living the dream.

Neal:
No, I'm not-!

Jones:
Yes! Yes, you are. You are the damn dream with a tracking anklet.

Neal:
Yeah... well, screw you, too, then. 'Cause you've got the same things I do.

Neal:
How'd you get a warrant?

Peter:
I have a friend in the U.S. Attorney's office... and I bought a boatload of her kid's band candy.

Neal:
You can never have too much band candy.

Peter:
Yeah... I just wish they had something besides those damn chocolate bars.

[Sara found out about Neal's treasure]

Neal:
What's going on? Are you leaving?

Sara:
The renovations on my apartment are far enough along, that I can move back in.

Neal:
Doesn't mean you have to head out right this second.

Sara:
Neal. I'm leaving, Done.

Neal:
A few hours ago, we were fine. And now you're walking out? What Happened?

Sara:
Well, the inevitable happened, Neal. I mean, we didn't think this was gonna last.

Neal:
I didn't know we were a fait accompli.

Sara:
Come on. This was fun .. But we're two very different people.

Neal:
Oh, come on, Sara, you've always known who I am.

Sara:
Yeah, you're right.

Neal:
Okay .. I guess you figured out everything I have to offer. We could be good together.

Sara:
[sighs] I know … Neal, you live in the clouds… And I live on West 69th.

Neal:
I never promised you anything else.

Sara:
I know.

Neal:
Well, you found your way out.

Sara:
I'll figure out the rest of my things.

Neal:
Yeah.

Sara:
Caffrey, please take care of yourself.

[Satchmo comes into the Burkes' bedroom, where Neal is attempting to crack Peter's wall safe, and whines at him.]

Neal:
Don't look at me like that.

Neal:
What's around here?

Mozzie:
The Palace.

Neal:
Always a fan favorite.

Neal:
I hope you don't forget anything between us.

Sara:
Nope, I won't forget that you stole the Raphael.

Mozzie:
Bless me father, for I am about to sin.

[Mozzie wants Neal to run away with him.]

Mozzie:
(Neal's close friend and a fellow conman): Do you want to leave or not?

Neal:
No. There are things about this life I'm not ready to give up.

Mozzie:
Do you even know what this life is anymore? I mean, you're, on a leash...

Neal:
I can always walk out that door, Moz. I can never walk back in.

Mozzie:
Well, then, you've made your choice. I always thought ours would be a happy ending.

Neal:
If you want a happy ending, it depends-

Mozzie:
-On where you stop the story. Yeah, Orson Welles.

(Neal opens a door and Peter reaches into his pocket and takes out a set of lock picks)

Peter:
What are you planning on using these for?

Neal:
(smiles) Always be prepared right?

Peter:
Yeah (grabs Neal by the arm and pulls him inside with him and talks to security) I have a hostile witness on my hands, do you have a holding room or office I can leave him while I conduct my business upstairs?

Guard:
Yeah, right here.

Neal:
Come one, Peter, you cannot lock me in here-

Peter:
(closes and locks the door on a still-protesting Neal) Watch me.

Peter:
Why didn't you leave?

Neal:
You...Elizabeth, Sara, the view from that porch, getting off the elevator Monday morning...I have a life here.

Peter:
We've been playing by Keller's rules. Let's change the game.

Matthew Keller (Neal's blue-collar counterpart):
...last time, we were sneaking out of somewhere because you got caught in bed with that princess.

Neal:
I didn't get caught in bed with her. They found me on the ledge outside her window.

Keller:
I remember seeing you standing there with nothing but a solid gold tray covering your junk. I was the one that got you down from there before they started shooting at you.

Peter:
In three months you could be a free man.

Peter:
I said sit on a bench, not reenact Dead Poet Society.

Peter:
I'll need an alias.

Neal:
Alistair Stone. A wealthy Hong Kong banker, relocating to New York, looking for a school for your son, Alistair Jr. You like catamarans and cognac.

Peter:
It's like you're an alias savant. [Neal shrugs] I do like catamarans, but, let's go with Peter instead of Alistair.

Neal:
Linda's gonna be upset.

Peter:
Linda?

Neal:
Your wife. She affectionately calls you Ali.

Peter:
She'll get over it.

Elizabeth:
Spousal immunity?

Neal:
You made that up.

Peter:
Yes, she has spousal immunity.

Neal:
Guess they couldn't crack the safe.

Peter:
So they took the whole damn thing.

Peter:
Agent Wesley did not graduate from Quantico so that he could write your case reports.

Neal:
Okay, who's the case agent?

Peter:
Before I tell you, remember that your commutation hearing is coming up. You should consider this an opportunity to impress Diana, Jones and myself with you maturity and self-restraint.

Neal:
Peter, what did you do?

Mozzie:
Neal! We are con men,grifters, mountebanks, flim flamers. We have to keep our skills sharp.

Neal:
Flim flammers?

Mozzie:
See? I'm already turning into a dinosaur.

Neal:
Jones, she [Sara] roped you into this too?

Jones:
Well, Peter said to help her legally, so you wouldn't have to illegally.

Sara:
We need to have some rules.

Neal:
I love rules.

Sara:
ok. Rule no 1, don't date the boss.

Neal:
Too late.

Neal:
[about sara's boss] He was your rebound from me.

Sara:
Why not, considering you were my rebound from him.

Neal:
Ouch. You know, Sara, I am starting to see a pattern here.

Sara:
Yeah. Apparently I date criminals.

Neal:
'Alleged' criminals.

Peter:
I don't know what you are planning here, but you are one week away from freedom.

Neal:
You're welcome.

Peter:
[Filling out a form] Do you have any family in the area?

Neal:
None to speak of.

Peter:
Marital status?

Neal:
Seriously?

Peter:
You and Sara are getting along again. Maybe you eloped.

Neal:
Vegas is a little outside my radius, don't you think? Do you have to do that now?

Peter:
Neal, your commutation hearing is in a week. I put this off as long as I could. Would you say you have a girlfriend?

Neal:
That's really on there?

Peter:
Neal, the board is deciding whether to release you from you anklet permanently, from me. They wanna know who's in your life. Are they a good influence or are they gonna steer you back to the dark side?

Neal:
And you think Sara could be an angel on my shoulders.

Peter:
As opposed to the little devil you have there now.

Neal:
Mozzie's more of an imp than a devil.

Peter:
If you work hard, swing the fences, anything is possible.

Peter:
There are things in the past, that live in the past.

Sara:
What's going on?

Peter:
Neal's about to rob Yankee Stadium.

[Neal, while undercover, hides a note for Peter under the stitching of a forged Babe Ruth baseball.]

Jones:
Caffrey took a real chance writing a message in that ball.

Peter:
Oh, Neal may be the expert in spotting forged paintings and bearer bonds-

Diana:
And gems...

Jones:
...Antiquities, counterfeit money...

Diana:
...Pretty much any kind of document.

Peter:
-Anyway, baseball's my thing.

Neal:
Regardless of what the committee decides, this is my home now.

Mozzie:
And I am right beside you now.

Neal:
Whether there's an anklet or not, come Monday, I'm going to be stepping off that elevator on the 21st floor to go to work.

Peter:
You once told me you never lied to me and you never will. So I need to know something. The first time Kramer and I went after you for the Degas, how did you switch the paintings?

Neal :
I snuck up to the penthouse, pulled the swap, then base-jumped off the building and landed on Wall Street.

Peter:
[laughing it off] Fine. Don't tell me.

Board Member:
Your husband trusts Neal?

Elizabeth:
He does, when it counts.

Board Member:
When it counts?

Elizabeth:
Well, Neal was a con man. I don't know if you'd want him dating your sister. [Awkward pause] Can I take that back?

Board Member:
No.

Elizabeth:
Look, Peter and Neal, they argue, they bicker. But in the end, when it counts, Peter puts up with it. Peter puts up with Neal because he's worth it.

Board Member:
Should Mr. Caffrey's sentence be commuted?

Elizabeth:
Yes.

Board Member:
Has your personal relationship with Mr. Caffrey influenced your testimony today?

Sara:
Oh, yes. Most definitely.

Board Member:
This isn't the first time you've testified regarding Mr. Caffrey, is it?

Sara:
No. Six years ago, I testified against him.

Board Member:
Yes. At the trial where he was convicted of forgery?

Sara:
Yes. And I went after him with everything I had. I called him a liar and a thief and probably a sociopath, and I meant every word of it.

Board Member:
So, what changed?

Sara:
Neal did.

Clinton Jones:
"Well, Caffrey understands people. You need space, he keeps to himself. You need to talk, he listens. You need a beer, he'll pour. Although he'll let you know he's slumming it."

Neal:
"I'm happy here. You know, someone once told me, my life is a dream with an anklet attached. If I wake up tomorrow and that anklet is still on, I have a good job, a wonderful home, a partner and a best friend. A family. But to wake up and answer only to myself. That would mean everything."

Holloman [member of the board for Neal's commutation hearing]:
"You caught him [Neal]?

Peter:
Twice. And you should know, the last time I caught him, he was sitting alone in an empty apartment. He had nothing. No one."

Holloman:
"And now?"

Peter:
He has a life. A real life here. One that keeps him grounded and decent. As you've heard, there are many people who care about Neal, people who see him as more than just a criminal. He's frustrating, I'll admit. He drives me crazy on his best days. I don't always have to know where Neal is or what he's up to. But I do know that he has a good heart and a set of principles that weren't there six years ago when he was just another case file that got dropped on my desk.

Board Member:
Agent Burke, should Neal Caffrey's sentence be commuted?

Peter:
Yes, I'm saying Neal should be free.

Holloman:
Do you think Mr. Caffrey has been reformed?

Peter:
As long as he's on that anklet, we'll never know. We can sit here until kingdom come and debate over "who is Neal Caffrey". But as long as we keep him tethered, as long as we treat him like a criminal..he'll always think that he is one.