Arthur, Season 1

D.W.:
[sing-song voice] Guess what, Arthur! You can't go to ca-amp! You can't go to ca-amp! We're going on vacation! We're going on vacation! We're going on vacation!

[Arthur is cutting a paper of dogs in half with scissors; D.W. opens the door and skips into Arthur's bedroom]

D.W. Read:
[Sing-song voice] Arthur wants a do-og! Arthur wants a do-og!

Arthur Read:
Don't say anything, D.W.! I'm waiting for just the right moment to ask Mom and Dad!

D.W. Read:
You can trust me, Arthur!

[During Arthur's dream]

D.W. Read:
Hurry up!

Arthur Read:
[Turns around] Huh?!

D.W. Read:
I'm next!

Arthur Read:
I don't feel so well!

D.W. Read:
Go on, faker!

[D.W. looks at her reflection on the toaster and realizes she also has chicken pox]

D.W. Read:
Spots!

Jane Read:
Now, D.W., I want you to be a big girl and--

D.W. Read:
[Skipping around happily] I have chicken pox! I have my very own chicken pox! [Sing-song voice] Spots, spots, spots! Spots, spots, spots!

D.W. Read:
[Banging lids like their cymbals; sing-song voice] The circus is coming! The circus is coming! The circus is coming!

D.W. Read:
I'm ho-ome!

[She walks right in front of the TV]

D.W. Read:
What's wrong with you?

Arthur Read:
I'm sick.

D.W. Read:
You don't look sick to me.

Arthur Read:
Well, I feel sick.

D.W. Read:
Why do I have to eat at the table?

Jane Read:
Because you're not sick.

[David puts some spinach on D.W.'s plate with tongs]

D.W. Read:
Blecch! Spinach?!

[She looks over at Arthur, who is eating on the couch]

D.W. Read:
How come Arthur doesn't have to eat spinach?

David and Jane Read:
Because he's sick.

D.W. Read:
He's not! He's faking!

[D.W. sticks her tongue out at Arthur, and in return, Arthur blows a raspberry at her; D.W. chuckles awkwardly]

[Buster walks into Mr. Haney's office]

Mr. Haney:
Come in.

Buster:
Mom, Grandma, what are you guys doing, here?

[Buster's mother Bitzi and his grandmother are in Mr. Haney's office about Buster's poor grades]

Bitzi:
It's nothing to worry about, dear. [sobs]

[Buster's grandmother comforts her]

Mr. Haney:
[takes out a lollipop and tissue] Really, Mrs. Baxter. It's not as bad as always is serious, very serious, but nothing a little elbow grease-- A lot of elbow grease-- Can't fix. Hopefully. Sit down, Buster.

[Mr. Ratburn sets a chair in the middle of the office for Buster]

Francine:
ARTHUR READ! Did you tell everyone I looked like a marshmallow?!

Arthur:
Uh....uh....

Buster:
[to Arthur] Yeah, don't you remember? When she was wearing that goofy sweater. [to Francine] So, what do you want to do about it?

Francine:
You better apologize or...

Buster:
[to Francine] Or what?

Francine:
[points at Arthur] Or you're gonna get it!

[after Arthur and Francine get locked in the library, they bump into each others' backs.]

Arthur and Francine:
[both scream] [to each other] YOU!!

Francine:
Arthur, why didn't you tell me what time it was? You got us locked in.

Arthur:
[pointing to himself] Me? [pointing to Francine] Why didn't you say what time it was?

Francine:
[pointing to Arthur] I'm NOT your mother, Arthur Read! I mean, how dumb does a person have to be to get locked in a library? [holds up her arms in a "V" shaped position with her hands open and pauses a few seconds] Anyway, [puts her arms down] I have no time for childish bickering. I have to get out of here. [walks off]

Arthur:
Fine. [walks after Francine]

Francine:
Fine. And by the way, I'm still not talking to you, and I'm not listening, either. [covers her ears with her hands and bends her elbows and walks forward until she bumps her elbow onto a bookshelf] Ow!

[Arthur and Francine gets stacks of books off of the bookshelves and create passageways to escape from the library. Arthur builds a tower full of books while Francine builds a staircase of books.]

Francine:
Oh! [walks to the tower of books and grabs a book from the tower right before Arthur is about to unlock the window]

Arthur:
HEY! [the tower collapses and becomes a mess full of books, causing Arthur to fall] [sarcastically] Thanks, I was almost there.

Francine:
[completes the staircase of books with the book she last grabbed, walks up the staircase, and unlocks the window, but a fly comes by, and takes three attempts to shoo the fly away, but screams and starts falling off the stairs of books] Ow!

[Arthur starts running up the staircase of books, and Francine goes after him also. Arthur starts pulling on the window handles, but nothing works out. Francine then helps him out, puts her foot against the window, then the handles break off, and she and Arthur fall and the staircase of books collapses]

Arthur:
I just remembered something...

Francine:
What?

Arthur:
Today is Saturday, which means the library is closed until...

[Francine gasps in horror]

Arthur and Francine:
MONDAY!! [their voices start echoing around the library]

[after Muffy has hung up on Francine]

Arthur:
What did you do?! How could you let her hang up?!

Francine:
Keep your shirt on! I'm calling my mom.

[Francine dials the number of her apartment]

Telephone's recording message:
To dial out, you must enter the correct user code. Please hang up and try again. To dial out...

[Francine gives an annoyed look to the camera]

Arthur:
Okay. We're doomed!

Francine:
You're such a wimp.

Arthur:
Then you're a bossy know-it-all, [low tone] marshmallow.

Francine:
That does it, Arthur Read! If I have to spend the weekend here, I'm not spending it with you!

Arthur:
Fine with me! See if I care!

[Pal has got D.W.'s hot dog and as he runs around the kitchen, he pulls D.W. with him]

D.W. Read:
Give it back! I don't eat your dog food, do I?!

[In Pal's dream, Pal is locked up in a cage and three dogs are growling at him; one of the dogs tries to open the lock on the cage]

D.W. Read:
No, wait! I can do it!

[She unlocks it with a key, opens the cage, and laughs evilly as she's about to take Pal out so the dogs can eat him; Pal whimpers; suddenly, the nightmare ends and the phone rings]

D.W.:
[After Pal managed to get D.W.'s wiener and ate it] Someday, I'm gonna teach that dog a lesson he won't forget!

[At the Frensky's apartment, Francine starts flickering with the lights, but Catherine gets irritated by this]

Catherine:
Francine! I'm trying to read Shakespeare.

Francine:
I'm sorry, Catherine. But if I am to play Edison convincingly, I need experience with electric lights.

[Francine continues flickering with the light switch, but Catherine still ignores the habit]

Catherine:
Why don't you study a phonograph or a movie camera? He invented those.

Francine:
Good idea, I will. As soon as I'm done here.

[Francine flickers with the light switches once again]

Catherine:
[yelling loudly] MOTHER!!

D.W.:
MOOOOOOM! [sing-song voice] ARTHUR BROKE A WINDOW!

[Arthur and Buster are in the computer den]

Buster:
Couldn't you just show it to me for one second?

Arthur:
I guess. Mom would never even know. [they start playing Deep Dark Sea]

D. W:
Arthur, what are you doing? Mom told you not to play on her computer.

Arthur:
We're NOT playing. I'm just showing it to Buster. Go away!

D. W:
If I go away, I'll probably tell Daddy. Besides, I want to watch.

Arthur:
Okay, you can watch, but be quiet.

Buster:
Wow! Even the Brain didn't get this far.

D. W:
What's that?

Arthur:
I don't know.

Buster:
Go to it. Maybe it's the thing.

D. W:
A treasure chest!

Buster:
I think that's it. That's...

Arthur and Buster:
...The thing!

Arthur:
I think I won. We've got to open it!

[Arthur and Buster both grab at the mouse, then Buster accidentally knocks the keyboard off the desk along with the mouse which both crash to the floor, Arthur, Buster and D.W gasp in horror and the computer starts buzzing as the CRT monitor starts to flicker in waves, the screen goes nearly black with a dot in the middle, the screen appears again, and then wipes away completely]

Buster:
You wrecked it!

Arthur:
No I didn't. You knocked the keyboard off the desk.

Buster:
Because you pushed my arm. Try turning it off and on again.

[Arthur presses the top button below the slot, but nothing seems to budge]

D. W:
You killed it! Now Mommy will lose her job. Then we'll lose the house, and live in the street, and Kate will get pneumonia, and we'll all starve!

Arthur:
D. W., be quiet! I'm thinking.

D. W:
And it's all your fault! So you better fix it, because I like living here.

[Buster grabs onto the computer tensely]

Arthur:
DON'T do that! You'll make it worse.

Buster:
Maybe you better call your mom.

Arthur:
I can't. She said not to play with it. But now I wrecked it! I've got it. Maybe we could fix it before she gets home.

D. W:
Maybe a rich family would have adopt me. I'm cute.

Buster:
Who'd know how to fix a computer?

Arthur and Buster:
[enthusiastically] The Brain!

Laverne:
[to Francine] I'm sorry, honey. But we can't afford to get you a new bike. Maybe next year.

Francine:
IT'S NOT FAIR!! I'LL DIE WITHOUT A BIKE!! [puts her head down on the table]

Oliver:
No! Not that! Anything but that! You mustn't give up honey! [Catherine stands up from the table] Be brave! Live! I say...LIVE!

Catherine:
[walking out of the room] Oh, Dad! Grow up.

Oliver:
Catherine's right. And besides, I have an idea. [takes Francine's hand and walks her out]