DuckTales, Season 1

Donald:
Now, while I'm in the Navy, boys, you mind your Uncle Scrooge.

Huey:
But he's so cheap!

Donald:
Yeah. But he's family. Okay, Huey?

Huey:
Yes, Uncle Donald.

Donald:
No back talk, Dewey.

Dewey:
No, Uncle Donald.

Donald:
Louie, be good. And no stink bombs.

Louie:
Uh, yes and no, Uncle Donald.

Scrooge:
Donald, you can't be serious about this crazy idea. There's no profit in it.

Donald:
But I've already enlisted, Uncle Scrooge. I wanna see the world!

Scrooge:
So I'll buy you a globe.

Flintheart Glomgold:
[Answering the phone] Money talks, I listen. Speak!

[Surprising each other while searching for the treasure ship]

Glomgold:
Scrooge!

Scrooge:
Glomgold!

El Capitan:
Los ninos!

Huey, Dewey and Louie:
That guy!

Launchpad:
Big rubble, no trouble! Gyro tells me you need a pilot for an experimental plane.

Scrooge:
What I need is my head examined.

Launchpad:
Don't worry, Mr. McD. If it's got wings, I can crash it.

Scrooge:
I hope my medical insurance is paid up.

Launchpad:
Well, the engines are busted, but those condors gave me an idea! Trouble is... I don't know how to get 'er off the ground.

Donald:
You leave that to me!

Launchpad:
Great! You handle the takeoff!

Donald:
Okay!

Launchpad:
Things must be worse than I thought... I'm beginning to understand him!

Dewey:
Be very very quiet. We're hunting Beakley.

Louie:
[About girls] [Webby's] making friends with penguins while Unca Scrooge is lost in the snow.

Mrs. Beakley:
You know, we could backtrack the walrus' trail and find your uncle.

Louie:
Er... yeah! We were just gonna say that!

Dewey:
[To Huey] They must get smarter as they get older.

(After crashing the carrier into a river)

Dewey:
We're caught in the current!

Scrooge:
Looks like your runway is running away with us. Let's get back into the sky!

Launchpad:
Don't worry. When the going gets tough, the harder they fall.

Webby:
Gee! An escalator!

Mrs. Beakley:
No, dear. This is an older model. We have to walk up these.

Bigtime:
Thanks for sneakin' us outta jail, Magica. We was gettin' bored waitin' for our time to run out!

Magica:
How long was your sentence?

Bigtime:
Life.

Scrooge:
I didn't get rich by being stupid.

Donald:
Nobody's going to make a king out of me and get away with it!

Louie:
What are they doing to Unca Donald?

Scrooge:
Whatever it is, it will be an improvement.

Huey:
Unca Scrooge, what's wrong?

Scrooge:
Those movie people called.

Huey:
That's good.

Scrooge:
But they can't repay me in cash.

Louie:
That's bad.

Scrooge:
So instead they're giving me Duckburg Studios.

Huey, Dewey, Louie and Doofus:
That's GREAT!!

Scrooge:
If Duckburg studios is going to survive, Major Courage is going to need a major overhaul.

Major Courage:
Uh... How major?

Scrooge:
Major major, Major.

Gyro Gearloose:
You told me to make it as real as I could, so I did.

Scrooge:
You know what I like about gold? I have a lot of it!

Armstrong:
My name is Armstrong. I am your friend.

Scrooge:
Why no marshmallows in my hot chocolate?

Duckworth:
(clears throat) It's inefficient, sir.

Scrooge:
Efficiency has its place but NOT in my hot chocolate.

Scrooge:
[About newspapers] I just love looking through the Business section. My name's on every page.

Glomgold:
Scrooge McDuck, you're a low-down ruthless rat!

Scrooge:
What can I say, Flintheart? You bring out the best in me.

Huey:
It's a shadow thief!

Scrooge:
After him! Er.. her! Er.. it!

Poe:
Shadow took over, locked Magica in a closet! Free her!

Scrooge:
Free that-that-that WITCH?! Never! It serves her right! She can stay locked in 'til Doomsday and it would be just ducky with me.

Huey:
But if she gets rid of that shadow...

Dewey:
We can't keep these lights on forever.

Louie:
Think of the electric bill.

Scrooge:
You have a point. Okay, let's go.

Scrooge:
Still a cheater, eh, Glomgold?

Glomgold:
I look at it this way: Why not?

[To Scrooge and Glomgold disguised as harem girls]

Sultan:
How did two camel humps like you become part of the finest harem in the land?

Scrooge:
2-for-1 sale?

Louie:
It sure is dark in here.

Huey:
I wonder where the light switch is.

Louie:
Hey, I found a candle!

Dewey:
Anybody got a match? [The "ghost" lights it for them]

Louie:
T-t-thank you. Now we know which way to run.

Huey, Dewey and Louie:
YAAAAH!!!!!!!!

Huey:
Hey, why would a ghost need to use a door?

Dewey:
Is that a riddle or a knock-knock joke?

Webby:
You're so smart, Uncle Scrooge.

Scrooge:
Thanks, darling. And wasn't it smart of you to notice?

Launchpad:
You guys gotta think positive!

Huey:
But, Launchpad, Webby's lost, Unca Scrooge is lost, we're lost...

Louie:
...and there's a monster in these caves trying to get 'em.

Launchpad:
C'mon! There must be something positive about all this.

Dewey:
If we don't keep moving, we're going to freeze to death.

Launchpad:
There you go!... You gotta keep a stiff upper lip, Louie.

Louie:
That's easy. It's frozen.

Dewey:
Look! We know Unca Scrooge didn't steal that painting, right?

Louie:
Yeah! He only likes little paintings of presidents. The ones on dollar bills.

[Scrooge is arm-wrestling the other inmates in quick succession]

Scrooge:
[Wins] Next. [Wins] Next. [Wins] Next.

Mad Dog McGurk:
[Rubbing his hand] How'd you get so strong, McDuck?

Scrooge:
By lifting moneybags.

Prisoner:
I lifted some moneybags once... right before they threw me in here.

Scrooge:
Until tomorrow, my beautiful cash. Good night, sleep tight and don't let inflation bite.

Bigtime:
It'll take a whole night of back-breaking work, aching muscles, dirt and sweat. [Passes the shovel to his brothers] You guys better get started.

Dewey:
Go ahead, Beagle Boys, take my ray!

Bankjob:
We gotta get out of here!

Beagle Boys:
YEAH!

Bankjob:
We gotta get out of here!

Beagle Boys:
YEAH!

Bankjob:
We gotta get out of here and into Scrooge's money bin!

Beagle Boys:
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!

Babyface:
[after he, Bankjob, and Bugle go flying out of Ma Beagle's car and into a paddy wagon] See what happens when you don't wear your seat belts?

Launchpad:
[talking to Doofus during a ransom call] Did they hurt you?

Doofus:
[crying] They tortured me, Launchpad! They ate my pancakes!

Launchpad:
[under his breath] Those rats!

[Launchpad decides not to tell the police anything after receiving a threatening phone call from the Beagle Boys]

Judge:
Now what were you here about, son?

Launchpad:
[quickly and nervously] I just wanted to tell you a joke: I knew a burglar who was so successful, he stopped makin' house calls. A yuk-yuk. [hurries away]

Judge:
Yuck is right.

Launchpad:
[to Ma Beagle] I'm lookin' for my friend Doofus, chubby little kid, about the size of this lamp. [motions to Doofus, who is tied up with a lampshade on his head]

Launchpad:
Surprise, Mr. McD!

Scrooge:
[happily] Launchpad, you're alive! [raises his cane] I'M GOIN' TA KILL YOU!

Viking 1:
Feeding the prisoners to the sharks isn't any fun.

Viking 2:
It is for the sharks!

Yardarm:
[to Sharky] A plan worthy of a master criminal - all you're missing is a little diabolical laughter.

Scrooge:
Your Uncle Donald's done something right for a change. By accident, of course.

Sirens:
[chanting] Pennies, nickels, quarters, dimes, come to us while there's still time. Golden ducky ever bold, look into our eyes of gold.

[referring to Glomgold's way of bailing the Beagles out of prison]

Bouncer:
"Ain't it a little early for Thanksgiving?

Huey:
(on Scrooge) I think those Beagle Boys have finally driven him nutso.

Dewey:
Knock it off! Uncle Scrooge is perfectly sane!

Scrooge McDuck:
(singsong) Yoo-hoo! Laddies! I've something to show you!

[They enter the bin, and see Scrooge has rigged a giant artillery cannon to the door.]

Huey:
Right, no mental problems here.

Scrooge McDuck:
(going crazy) No, no! Beagle Boys! Hide money! Win contests! Pretty fruit!

Dewey:
Snap out of it, Uncle Scrooge! We need you! (throws a wad of cash at Scrooge's head)

Scrooge McDuck:
Thanks, Dewey. I needed that.

Dewey:
You're all right!

Scrooge McDuck:
Yes, and I've figured out how to save my money from the Beagle Boys!

Huey, Dewey, and Louie:
You do?

Scrooge McDuck:
Yes! I'll give it to them!

Huey, Dewey, and Louie:
Say what?

Scrooge:
(upon hearing that one of his cargo boats has vanished) A sea monster ate my ice creeeeeeeam!!! (he continues to shout this again and again as he flails crazily on the breakfast table)

Mrs. Beakley:
That must've been some ice cream.

Huey:
(holding down Scrooge) No, you don't understand! This wasn't ice cream! This was half his fortune!

Security guard:
I don't care if you're Frosty the Snowman's sisters. Mr. McDuck left explicit instructions for nobody to be let in, and that means you nobodies, too!

[The ducks are imprisoned in an undersea city.]

Launchpad McQuack:
Say, why don't we find ourselves some spoons, and dig our way out of here?

Scrooge McDuck:
Launchpad, how did you ever manage to survive childhood?

Scrooge:
Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!

Flintheart Glomgold:
Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes!

Captain Mallard:
My first mate Quackerbill was swallowed alive, which means he no longer is. You all sailed with good old Quackerbill! Remember what he always used to say?

Entire Room:
ARRR...

Captain Mallard:
Besides that!

Scrooge:
[About Launchpad] It's no wonder he doesn't wear a crash helmet. What's to protect?

Triplets:
Don't worry. Launchpad taught us everything he knows about flying.

Scrooge:
Now I'm worried.

[Huey restarts times after thwarting the robbery]

Babyface:
Hey, the money!

[the officer gets up and starts blasting his pistol at the Beagle Boys]

Bankjob:
Wha-?! How'd he get loose?! Eh, take this copper!

[but instead of the pistol, he has a hot dog, which splatters out of his hand]

Babyface:
Huh?!

Bankjob:
Let's get out of here!

[the Beagle boys trip and fall over due to their shoes being tied together]

Babyface:
Yow!

Bankjob:
Oof!

Babyface:
What the..!

Bankjob:
Aah!

[they squirm towards their car while the officer continues firing at them]

Louie:
Gee, they got away.

Huey:
Well, at least we stopped the robbery.

[after Scrooge explains their plan]

Bankjob:
Hey! How come we gotta be the ones to stay behind and keep 'em busy?

Scrooge:
Because you're too stupid to hook up Gyro's time tub!

Bankjob:
All right, all right, just asking.

Magica:
"Open!" says me.

Scrooge:
And to show his appreciation, old Scrooge McDuck is taking you all out to the finest hamburger stand in Duckburg!

Webby:
Can we order fries?

Scrooge:
You can even order hamburgers!

Scrooge:
(about re-hiring Duckworth) All in favor, say "yea!"

Huey/Dewey/Louie:
YAY!

Scrooge:
The "yays" have it!

Launchpad:
I can't break their little hearts, Mr. McDee - you do it!

Scrooge:
[to Glomgold] Let's just say I'll invest a million in your company if I lose, and you invest a million in my company when I win.

Director:
McDuck, if we crash, we'll sue you for-!

Carl Sagander:
Billions and billions of dollars!

Scrooge:
[on being told that a ballroom is only for "important" people] Well, I don't know about status, but I own this hotel.

Mrs. Quackenbush:
Oh, boys! Aren't you forgetting something?

Dewey:
Our teacher, Mrs. Quackenbush!

Mrs. Quackenbush:
You didn't do your homework, boys--and you know how I hate that!

(the nephews scream)

Louie:
Whose idea was it not to do our homework?

Huey and Dewey:
Yours!

Louie:
Whose idea was it to listen to my idea?

Dewey:
It's almost as if someone knows what our worst fears are and is using them against us.

Huey:
But who would know that much about us?

(The door swings open, and evil version of Uncle Scrooge stands before them)

Nephews:
Uncle Scrooge!

Evil Scrooge:
Figured it out, did ya?! Well, my worst fears came true when I got YOU three little television-leaver-oners! I never wanted you here, but that no-good Donald dumped you on me. (tosses and breaks Donald's picture scaring the nephews) I've been doing all this to scare you out of my life!

Louie:
B-but how could you do all those things?

Evil Scrooge:
I'm rich! I can do anything! (laughs evilly) And I'll be ever richer when you're out of here!

Nephews:
(crying) Uncle Scrooge!

Evil Scrooge:
Don't call me that! I don't want to be your uncle anymore! (leaves)

Seaman:
What are your orders, admiral?

Admiral Grimitz:
Somebody do something!

Webby:
If Millionara offered me an apple in the forest, I sure wouldn't eat it!

Goldie:
You say "I do," and I'll show you the breeze of my shotgun!

Goldie:
You no-good varmint! I'll teach ya to lay eyes on another woman!

Launchpad:
Oops! That darn eject button is always getting in the way!