Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Season 6

Captain Cragen:
$3,000 worth of damage to the car?

Stabler:
What can I tell you? I zigged when I should have zagged.

Stabler:
King Solomon said, "Bring me a sword. Divide the living child in 2. Give half to one mother, half to the other."

Novak:
Except I can't split the baby.

Stabler:
Solomon didn't have to.

Benson:
Mrs. Osborne, we're gonna have to place you under arrest.

Michelle:
For what?

Benson:
Conspiracy to commit kidnapping.

Michelle:
Go ahead. You'll see I'm right.

Benson:
Michele, this has got to stop now, okay? We know everything. Anna was on the police report from your husband's accident. She died in the car with him.

Michelle:
No, they never found her remains.

Benson:
Michelle, they were hit by a gasoline tanker. There was nothing left. I'm sorry. But you know what I'm telling you is the truth.

Michelle:
I know my daughter is alive!

Benson:
Casey, you've got to plead her out.

Novak:
Why would I do that?

Benson:
Because what happened was a mistake.

Novak:
Michelle is uncontrollably driven to kidnap someone else's child.

Benson:
Her little girl biologically!

Novak:
But not legally. I can't let Michelle off the hook just because you feel guilty you didn't believe her.

Benson:
Well, then give her a break because she's also a victim. What that fertility doctor did to those 2 women is genetic rape. And don't tell me that that doesn't bother you on some level.

Novak:
Talk to the doctor, confirm what Michelle and the Bransons say and I'll consider a deal.

Novak:
We found Jiao's body buried under your whorehouse in Flushing.

Ricky:
Check the property rules, Mrs. Chan owns that place, sweet old lady.

Novak:
Grandma didn't slit Jiao's throat.

Ricky:
How do you know?

Customs Officer:
We use to raid sweatshops every week for making phony handbags, designer jeans, even T- shirts, but since 9/11, we put all our manpower into DVDs.

Benson:
Boot-leg movies pose a threat to national security?

Officer:
When al-Qaeda's selling them. Interpol raided a sleeper cell found 20,000 copies of "The Lion King." Cheap to make, the profit margin's higher then drugs and a hell of a lot less risky.

Stabler:
Using Mickey Mouse to fund terrorist attacks on America. What next?

B.J.:
Do you wake up every morning and think, "How can I trample on the First Amendment today?"

Novak:
I wake up and think, "How can I put away a rapist?"

Stabler:
[reads hate-mail] "Roses are red, Violets are blue. When Jessie is dead, her corpse I will..." You get the idea. There's hundreds like this.

Novak:
What did I do wrong?

Donnelly:
What, aren't you going to even say "hi" to your boss?

Novak:
Hi. What did I do wrong?

B.J.'s Assistant:
They yanked us off the air before the best part.

Fin:
Something heavy fell on B.J.'s head?

Benson:
[about the suspect] A serial killer kleptomaniac who's afraid of the dark.

Dr. Huang:
What did your mother do to you?

Humphrey:
Please, with you people, it's always the mothers.

Novak:
I just set a new world record getting these warrants. Not to mention risking my life interrupting Judge Terhune's poker game, again.

Munch:
[to a guard] Open it. [to the ADA] Poor baby. I've been up for 40 hours.

[Stabler's phone vibrates]

Humphrey:
Why, detective, is that your phone vibrating, or do you just find me terribly exciting?

Stabler:
911 from the wife.

[he answers the phone; Benson is on the other end of the line]

Benson:
I talked to Novak. He gives us her location, she'll take the death penalty off the table.

Stabler:
Oh, I don't know. You know how I hate letting these kids get away with that kinda thing. Okay. Bye-bye. [hangs up]

Humphrey:
[suspiciously] Oh, no "I love you" this time? It rings one more time, and we're DONE!!! AS IS JEANETTE!!

Benson:
I've never met a victim who testified against their attacker and regretted it afterwards.

Stabler:
You know Tandi's face was on the TV and newspaper all weekend long. How come you didn't report seeing her?

Cadet:
I guess I just didn't put 2 and 2 together.

Stabler:
Yeah, I could see where that would be a problem for you.

Stabler:
Do you think you could recognize her again?

Cashier:
Sure could. [Elliot pulls a picture out and shows it to him] That's her.

Stabler:
You've been very helpful, Thank you. [walks outside where Olivia is on her phone with Fin]

Benson:
Fin, it's Liv. Look, can you check with the lab for food wrapper and soda cans found at the scene? Yeah, great, thanks. [hangs up the phone]

Stabler:
Don't get your hopes up.

Benson:
He didn't recognize Tandi's photo?

Stabler:
He recognized my daughter Kathleen.

Tucker:
I've know Tandi since she was 8. I watched that girl grow up. I supported her family when her father was sick. I've loved her like a daughter and to suggest that I might harm her is disgusting.

Stabler:
I'm touched.

[after Dr. Morton's acquittal]

Stabler:
You manipulated us, just like Jake did.

Dr. Morton:
There's one big difference. Jake would've killed again. I won't.

[A pregnant 12-year old puts the SVU unit on the trail of a charismatic cult leader, but when tragedy strikes some of them find there are some horrors they cannot handle.]

Huang:
What do you most remember seeing after you entered the house?

Stabler:
Dead bodies.

Dr. Huang:
Anything specific about them?

Stabler:
Bunch of dead bodies.

Dr. Huang:
Then you think this is a big waste of your time.

Munch:
Hell, no. I think we should all sit around all day and chat about our feelings.

Dr. Huang:
Well, what do you want to talk about?

Munch:
Well, it doesn't really matter. We can all talk until we're blue in the face. It's not going to change the fact that the human race is ever-evolving and will always come up with elaborate, repulsive, and depraved ways to kill each other.

Dr. Huang:
And that's really the hard part for you, isn't it?

Munch:
What?

Dr. Huang:
That you can still be repulsed. As cynical as you try to be. You can still be sickened.

[Munch looks away]

Benson:
If you want I can try to find the father of your baby. Do you know his name?

Melanie:
Abraham.

Benson:
And who's Abraham?

Melanie:
He's my husband.

Benson:
I'm afraid that... I won't be able to handle it.

Dr. Huang:
But you are. By acknowledging that it affects you. That's the way you handle something traumatic.

Benson:
Well, I guess the real problem is that I'm afraid that... that it's not working. [starts to cry]

Benson:
Now, those women out there might be brainwashed, but you're not. You know exactly what he is: A murderer and a child rapist.

Sarah/Cindy:
That's not true!

Benson:
You knew who he was and you let this happen! You let all those children die!

Sarah/Cindy:
It was God's will!

Benson:
No, Sarah! It was your will! You can blame God, and you can blame Abraham, but we all know the truth! You did this! You sat there, and you watched as a man raped one of your children and then murdered the other! You might has well have killed him YOURSELF!!

Captain Cragen:
Olivia!

Benson:
[calmly] He has one of your children and he has your unborn grandchild.

Sarah/Cindy:
This is a test. I won't be tempted.

[Benson leaves the room in disgust]

Eugene:
How can you stand it? How can you invite this depravity into your mind? Your body? Your soul? They will kill you. Every horror, every torment afflicts your body. Like a cancer. It's devouring your, and you can't see it. Open your eyes.

Benson:
You know, I just thought that you were just another con artist. Seeking out people who were starved for anything that would give them meaning in their life. They're easy marks. You talk about God, the apocalypse and they give you all their money. But you are much more pathetic than that. You actually believe your own hype. You've conned yourself.

Eugene:
All these men have come to kill me!

Benson:
Shut your mouth, Eugene!

Eugene:
Why?! Because they know! They know that I am greater than man! I am greater than God! And they're afraid of what I can do!

[a gunshot is heard and Eugene hits the ground dead; Melanie is holding the gun and she starts sobbing; Benson rushes over, takes the gun away, and holds her]

Benson:
It's okay. It's okay. Put the gun down. It's okay.

Melanie:
That was a lie.

Benson:
What was?

Melanie:
He said he was greater than God. But nobody is.

Benson:
Elliot, what happened between you and Kathy?

Stabler:
Well ... the job made me kind of hard to live with.

Benson:
She should try working with you.

Benson:
[to Gina] You think you got a good enough look at him to work with a sketch artist?

Gina:
He was behind me most of the time. White guy, hood of his sweatshirt pulled over his head, big sunglasses, smelled like an ashtray. Guess it's not going to help you with your sketch unless it's a scratch and sniff, right?

Benson:
[about Miranda Cole] As best I can tell, she was raped by terrorists.

Munch:
Visit with mom, evening of rape, what would Freud say?

Dr. Hendrix:
[to Thomas Mathers] Have you ever had a girlfriend?

Thomas:
Lots of guys don't find a right girl.

Benson:
That's true. I mean, being single's not easy.

Thomas:
You would not look at me twice if I asked you out, you would not give me a time of day, so don't pretend you understand what I'm going through. I don't need your pity.

Stabler:
You're just looking for the right girl. And one day you'll rape her and live happily ever after.

Benson:
[to Elliot] I can't believe that you are gonna take a shrink's opinion over actual facts.

Dr. Hendrix:
[offended] Bye.

Stabler:
What's your problem? She's a cop. That's all I need to know.

Benson:
No, Elliot. She didn't think that being a cop was good enough, so she quit.

Stabler:
Is that what this is about, some inferiority complex?

Benson:
You know, I get that you are on the rebound and everything, but if you could keep it out of work that'd be great.

Chief Muldrew:
Captain Cragen, how's Detective Tutuola?

Captain Cragen:
He's still in surgery, Chief.

Chief Muldrew:
Those damn reporters. They're more interested in the gun than a cop fightin' for his life.

Munch:
The vultures wanna crucify him,... sir.

Fin:
Who's the best at undercover in your squad?

Sandoval:
I'm your guy.

Fin:
No offense, but my grandmother wouldn't sell an aspirin to you.

Fin:
Cold pills?

Sandoval:
Yep, and matchbooks.

Fin:
Thousands of them.

Sandoval:
You need both to cook crystal meth.

Fin:
Well, that explains the pole-cams and the booby-traps. Meth makes you paranoid.

Sandoval:
Beyond paranoid. I once collared a heavy tweaker who shot his dog because he was afraid he was gonna rat him out to the cops.

Holly:
[about to get an IV] I wish my dad was here.

Stabler:
You'll see him in a while. What's your most favorite thing you like to do with your dad? I got twins your age, and we like to go to the beach together.

Holly:
My dad takes me to the beach, too. We build sand castles. I don't like needles.

Stabler:
Okay. Hold onto my hand. Now close your eyes and pretend that you're at the beach building sand castles with your dad. And if it hurts, you squeeze my hand really hard, okay?

Holly:
What do you do when something hurts?

Stabler:
I think of my kids.

Munch:
[to a tip caller] We don't need a psychic. You're that good. Who's gonna win the Super Bowl?

Mark:
I never touched Holly Purcell!

Benson:
She's at your house all the time. She's in your class at school. You couldn't stop thinking about her.

Mark:
Holly's like one of my own daughters!

Stabler:
You give private lessons to your daughters, too?

Mark:
You're disgusting! How dare--?!

Stabler:
I'm disgusting?! [pins Mark to the wall] Holly told us what you did to her!

Mark:
THEN SHE'S LYING!

Stabler:
You tore her up, and she's got the scars to prove it! [releases Mark]

Mark:
I don't know what in hell is going on around here! But I'm not saying another word! I want a lawyer!

[The death of a gang member seems to be related to a sexual assault, but Benson and Stabler discover when they find the victim that things are not exactly what they seem.]

[Finding a can of paint in an allegedly 'ex'-graffiti artist's locker.]

Munch:
Looks like someone's still got the aerosol monkey on his back.

[In interrogation]

Logan:
I don't know how to dumb this down for you anymore. It. Wasn't. Me.

Dr. Blair:
[Regarding gender reassignment surgery] Any plastic surgeon will tell you, it's easier to dig a hole than to build a pole.

Benson:
Dr. Blair, do you realize that disseminating pornography to a minor is a felony?

Dr. Blair:
I showed them art books.

Stabler:
Doc, I saw the art in your office and even I was uncomfortable at how many phalluses were on display.

Dr. Blair:
That's because you're a bourgeois American, completely uptight about sex. It's what screws up your children and turns them into sex offenders.

Stabler:
You lost me at bourgeois.

Benson:
Before you and Kathy had kids, did you ever wonder how they were going to turn out.

Stabler:
All the time, still do.

Benson:
At least you know what you're passing on. Half my genes are drunk and the other half are violent and cruel.

Stabler:
And look how great you turned out.... It's not all about the genes, Liv. All you can do is love your kids.

Benson:
Good night.

[Benson has one last interview with Lucas Biggs on death row]

Benson:
Somebody murdered Deacon Brinn. Somebody you knew that you abused him.

Biggs:
I never abused Deacon or any of the boys. I loved them.

Benson:
Your love ruined their lives.

Biggs:
I didn't do anything wrong.

Benson:
Come on, Lucas. You know that's not true.

Biggs:
What'd I do wrong? I was born with these feelings. I don't know why I have them. They were always there. Wasn't exactly like I had a choice.

Benson:
Neither did the 117 boys you molested.

Biggs:
I never hurt them. It never hurt me.

Benson:
You were abused.

Biggs:
[after a moment of pause] My father left when I was a baby. And when I was about 9, this man moved across the street. He was the only one I could talk to. He loved me, he cared for me. And touching me was how he showed it.

Benson:
I'm sorry.

[Biggs starts to break down in tears]

Biggs:
I never meant to hurt the boys!

Benson:
Lucas, Deacon Brinn is dead. And the killer knew what you did to him. Just tell me who you told.

Biggs:
No one!

Benson:
There has to be somebody. In jail. Somebody who knew you back then. Somebody who knew about you and Deacon.

Biggs:
There was a little boy. He used to follow Deacon and Jeffrey around. And Deacon used to look at him the way I looked at boys.

Benson:
What was his name?

Biggs:
Avery. His name was Avery.

[The squad is puzzled at the murder of a random woman until they discover that it is linked to a popular video game.]

[Fin and Munch interview a computer game designer.]

Designer:
That sequence was an easter egg.

Fin:
A what?

Munch:
That's a hidden treat players can access for extra fun.

Designer:
You're not as old as you look.

Designer:
Stu used to work here. We had to fire him because he snuck copulating bunny rabbits into a children's game we make.

Novak:
[her closing argument] Did Garrett and Louise get the idea from a game? Yes. We get ideas all the time. From books, from TV, from friends, from life, from everywhere. We don't act on them. We know that the idea doesn't justify the deed. Don't let Mr. Gates blind you to the facts. Real people ran over a real person, and then they beat her to death. Melody Quinn felt real pain. She bled real blood. And she died a horrible and lonely death. It was not a game. Now, did Melody's killers know what they were doing? Well, their taunting of Larry Tauber, the one member of their trio with the humanity to feel regret, proves that they did! Garrett Perle said it himself. It was a joke! Well, you know what? Murder is no joke! So don't let them use a game as an excuse for their cruel and callous actions.

Garrett:
[after his and Louise's conviction] Bang-bang. You're dead.

Judge Seligman:
Get him outta here!

Stabler:
How many teenage girls do you know who are too busy to have boyfriends?

Benson:
When we were kids, our parents told us we were too young to date just one guy.

Stabler:
Now you pray your kids only date one guy.

Stabler [about the victim, Lisa Downey]:
How did this happen? 6 months ago, she was just another 15-year-old girl.

Benson:
Until she started hooking up with half of Queens. After that it's no big deal to have sex for designer clothes or prostitute yourself at a hotel.

Captain Cragen:
She winds up as Trudy Strutz, Porn Star.

Stabler:
She winds up dead on a roof.

[just as Connors is about to be released before trial]

Novak:
[to Benson and Stabler] Arrest him. [to the judge] Your honor, my detectives are here to re-arrest the defendant.

Kressler:
On what charges?

Novak:
The murder of Assistant District Attorney Alexandra Cabot.

Kressler:
Your honor, this is a blatant attempt to unlawfully detain my client.

Judge Preston:
Save it, counselor. Alex Cabot was a friend of mine. I'll see you both at arraignment. [bangs gavel]

[Stabler slaps the cuffs on Connors]

Connors:
You can't prove I killed her. And the dead can't talk.

Stabler:
Liam Connors, you're under arrest for murder.

Agent Hammond:
What the hell are you people doing?

Captain Cragen:
Agent Hammond, most people knock first.

Agent Hammond:
You should've called me before your detectives arrested Liam Connors for the murder of Alex Cabot.

Captain Cragen:
Connors blew up one of your agents. I didn't expect flowers, but I thought you'd be pleased.

Agent Hammond:
If Connors goes to trial, I'm called to testify, what am I supposed to do?

Captain Cragen:
Do your job.

Agent Hammond:
That's exactly what I'm gonna do. I just came to tell you that you're on your own. I'm not gonna ruin my career by committing perjury. Do we understand each other, Captain?

Captain Cragen:
She's alive. You son of a bitch! You stashed Alex in witness protection.

Agent Hammond:
You didn't know.

Alex:
Do you have a question?

Kressler:
Only one. Did you see my client shoot you?

Alex:
I saw his gun aimed at my heart.

Kressler:
Please, Miss Cabot, just answer the question. On the night that you were shot, did you see Liam Connors anywhere in the vicinity?

Alex:
No, but he's a coward. He likes to run away. [to the defendant] Did you leave a family behind in Ireland, Mr. Connors?

Kressler:
Your honor?

Judge Preston:
Miss Cabot, please.

Kressler:
You have absolutely no idea who shot you, do you?

Alex:
Oh, I have an idea. It's the kind of man that likes to rape a woman to make her talk.

Kressler:
Let me rephrase the question. Did you see Liam Connors shoot you?

Alex:
No. But I know it was him.

Kressler:
Objection, your honor!

Alex:
It takes a lot of balls to shoot an unarmed woman and a sleeping child!

Kressler:
Your honor! Objection!

Alex:
[to Connors] It's too bad your aim wasn't a little better!

Kressler:
Objection, your honor!

Connors:
You think you're safe?! [jumps out of his seat while the court officers restrain him] They know where you are! You should've stayed dead!

Judge Preston:
ENOUGH! We're in recess until Mr. Kressler can control his client. You may step down, Miss Cabot.

Gordon:
Every cop has a weakness, you just gotta know how to exploit it. They treat you like you're an imbecile, if you're not careful, you start to believe them. It's a game for them, they get off on it. They got these huge egos, that's their biggest problem. All you gotta do is let them know who's in charge. Not them, you. They used to call FBI agents gangsters with badges, they were one step away from being the worst criminals in society. Stabler's like that, big time.

Fin:
Who's Stabler?

Gordon:
Jarhead detective.

Fin:
You know him?

Gordon:
I do, and he knows me too. He's been thinking about me for a long time. He tries to hang you with your own words. Catch you in a lie. You're dead when that happens.

Fin:
So what do you tell him?

Gordon:
The truth will set you free.

Munch:
I was never much into sports. My high school basketball coach said I looked like a retarded gazelle with a spastic disorder. Mr. Daley. Real loving guy.

Captain Cragen:
So, Elliot screams at him for a few hours. What was the plan after that?

Fin:
Don't know. That was the end of the plan.

Stabler:
Back then with Dana, I thought I knew it all. It didn't matter that we couldn't find the place where you murdered her. It didn't matter that we couldn't find the place where you dumped the body. I knew you were guilty. I thought that was enough, but we both know how that turned out. See, back then I thought you were a pedophile. In their own sick way, pedophiles think they love children, that they build a relationship with them, that they have an emotional connection to the child. You know how to get a pedophile to confess? Offer them the opportunity. Some of them feel so guilty about it, they're just dying to tell you. But that's not you, is it, Gordon? I was all wrong. Working at SVU, I've learned the difference between a pedophile and a man who rapes children. It's not about attraction or power or dominance - it's about annihilation. You don't care about the kids - you hate the kids. You defile and destroy her because she has what you never will: Hope, trust, potential.

Gordon:
[smirks] Is that why I do it?

Stabler:
That's part of it. The other part, the part I've been trying to get at all night, is the rage. You're very good at hiding it - it's unbelievable - but I know it's there. I can see it even when you're sitting still, like now. Gordon, you're kidding yourself if you think you're controlling it. It's controlling you. Every lie you tell to cover your inadequacies… every perceived insult you think you're getting… just feeds it.

Gordon:
You're lecturing me about rage? Are you kidding?

Stabler:
I'm not.

Gordon:
What do you know about controlling anything?

Stabler:
I don't murder people.

Gordon:
Give it time. You say you see something in me. Well, I see something in you, too. You think you control? You can't. You're controlled by your boss, by your job, by your wife… your kids… What would you be if all those controls went away?

Stabler:
[quietly] I'd be you.

Stabler:
Did you think I froze? Is that why you fired first?

Benson:
[sadly] I fired first 'cause you would've killed him.

Stabler:
He deserves to die.

Benson:
Maybe he does, but he wanted you to kill him. He wanted you to always remember that you took his life. Not because you had to, but because you were angry.

Stabler:
[to Ballentine] What is it with this virgin compulsion? Afraid you're not gonna measure up to other men?

Ballentine:
Oh, no, no, I'm more than adequate in bed. But the expression on a girl's face her first time is ... incomparable.

Stabler:
These girls weren't having sex. They were being raped.

Ballentine:
Here's my card, my name's Sebastian Ballentine.

Stabler:
The Sebastian Ballentine?

Ballentine:
You've heard of me?

Stabler:
No.

Suspect:
I deserve an apology... in writing!

Munch:
You'll be receiving one in the mail in 6 to 8 weeks.

Stabler:
Romeo and Juliet killed themselves, not their parents.

Benson:
You saw how she humiliated Carrie in front of the entire squad. I don't like her.

Captain Cragen:
Well, she has a right to be upset.

Benson:
She's upset, because she thinks Carrie's gonna end up just like her-- Pregnant without a man.

Captain Cragen:
Denise Eldridge believes a crime was committed against her daughter.

Benson:
Denise Eldridge is a fruitcake.

Stabler:
Well, dessert is served. [shows Denise in the squad room]

Captain Cragen:
Olivia, my office! [they both enter his office] Why is Denise Eldridge screaming to One PP that you talked her daughter out of a rape kit?

Benson:
Carrie didn't want it.

Captain Cragen:
Now that's exactly what Simone Bryce told Carrie's mother. That's funny how a children's rights attorney just happened to show up at the ER.

Denise:
My daughter's been violated. Whose side are you on?

Benson:
Hers. [leaves]

Benson:
You know I'm right.

Stabler:
What, that Denise is a fruitcake? Yeah. But she's trying to protect her daughter.

Simone:
Olivia, what are you gonna do?

Benson:
I have to tell the D.A.

Simone:
Hold on. You know it wasn't murder.

Benson:
Why didn't you present that as evidence?

Simone:
She refused to talk about it. [pauses] You remember what that was like.

Benson:
My mother was an English professor. When I was 16, I started dating one of her students. He was a senior, he was 21 years old. And he asked me to marry him. And I said yes. Because I wanted to get away from my mother. She found out and she told me that if I didn't stop seeing him, that she would have him kicked out of college. And I told her that I was moving out. She was half way through a bottle of vodka and she dropped it. It shattered all over the floor. And then she picked up the jagged edge of the bottle and...and she came at me, screaming, 'I'll never let anyone else have you.' And so I kicked her, hard. And then I kicked her again. And she went flying across the room, into the wall. And she slid down to the floor. I'd never hurt her before. I ran out. I was so afraid...

Novak:
You didn't kill your mother, Olivia.

Benson:
I know what it's like to want to. That's how I know Simone Brice. I called her back then. She was a law student, and she helped me survive it.

Novak:
Why didn't Carrie say something?

Benson:
Because then the abuse becomes real. If you keep quiet, you can pretend that it's not.

Benson:
Casey, I had to go 3 blocks to find an open coffee shop. If you went home, I'm gonna kill you.

Benson:
[to Casey] You feel like a cup of coffee?

Novak:
Every second of every day.

Captain Cragen:
[to Elliot] How many times do you think you can break the rules and get away with it?

Fin:
With men, it's just business. They take what they want: money, drugs, sex. With a woman, it's personal.

Jenny:
Do you have children?

Stabler:
Yes.

Jenny:
What would you do if one of them got into trouble? You'd help them.

Jenny:
You arrested Kevin?

Benson:
He'll be in a treatment program. He's getting the help he needs, and you can live your life without being afraid.

Jenny:
What life? You took my son away. What have I got to live for now?

[Upon learning that a disembodied head had traces of semen in her mouth.]

Fin:
He didn't even let her gargle.

Huang:
He disarticulated her after he killed her.

Munch:
What's the fun in that?

[Munch and Fin head into a synagogue to find a suspect.]

Munch:
Put this on.

[Munch hands Fin a yarmulke.]

Fin:
I look Jewish to you?

Stabler:
Cause of death?

Coroner:
Heroin trip.

Fin:
This girl didn't OD.

Coroner:
No, I mean she tripped on the subway stairs because she was high.

Munch:
Let's hope the rest of her is in there. Resting in pieces.

Body seller:
Listen. It's not what you're thinking.

Stabler:
Oh, you have no idea what I'm thinking.

Munch:
No one should have to choose between obeying the law and watching their son die.

Benson:
[to Officer Vaill about Officer Callahan] Are you sleeping with him?

Officer Vaill:
Let me be very clear, Detective Benson. I'd be more inclined to have an affair with you.

Benson:
Got it.

Fin:
Callahan's either a great guy or an unpredictable bastard, depending on who you talk to.

Benson:
That's helpful.

Fin:
It's better than Munch's "evil twin" theory.

Novak:
[holds a newspaper] Take a look at this.

Captain Cragen:
Yeah, we've seen it.

Novak:
So has Arthur Branch, meaning I'll be a special kind of pain in your ass until this is sufficiently explained.

Stabler:
What the hell's all this? [sees the columns of boxes in Casey's office]

Novak:
U.S. army's version of "bury me in paper." Their response to my subpoenas.

Branch:
[to Novak] Conference room, NOW!

Stabler:
What's that about?

Novak:
Oh, probably just another of the subpoenas I sent out.

Stabler:
For what?

Novak:
Donald Rumsfeld.

Dr. Trainer:
Of the 4 drugs that work, 3 have to be taken daily. Quiniam is once a week. Easier to make sure soldiers take it.

Novak:
When they're not killing themselves.

Novak:
[to Dr. Trainer] Do you believe Quinium to be a safe drug?

Dr. Trainer:
Miss Novak, what we have not discussed is the fact that malaria is a highly deadly disease. It kills over 2,000,000 people worldwide every year. Every 12 seconds, a child dies from malaria.

Novak:
That's very sad, Dr. Trainer. You didn't even attempt to answer my question.

Novak:
[to Dr. Trainer] We had a shot at changing things, making them listen, making them stop. I don't understand why you didn't come to me, I could have helped you. And when the truth came out, they never could have touched you.

Dr. Trainer:
Ms. Novak, you are very young, and that is not the way the world works.

Stabler:
You waste my time, send me on a wild goose chase?

Walinsky:
I was tryin' to help you guys!

Stabler:
You contaminated evidence! You told that kid you're a cop to get him to make a false ID!

Walinsky:
You got the perv, didn't you?

Stabler:
Wrong perv, but I tell you what... [locks Walinsky in a holding cell] ...where you're going you'll be meeting plenty of them.

Stabler:
You really went after Morton in there.

Novak:
He killed a kid. He knew what he was doing.

Stabler:
You so sure about that because of something he wrote 15 years ago?

Novak:
Eliot, he's screwing with us. This grief-crazed father crap, it's all an act.

Stabler:
I spend my life locking up skels for murdering children. The system says they go away to prison - fine. But if it were my son lying on that slab, I don't know what my rage would make me do.

Munch:
[to Reggie] Just relax, take a deep breath, and pretend you're just embezzling thousands of dollars like it's any other day.

[Myra has accused Stabler of touching her inappropriately]

Captain Cragen:
In 12 years, there has never been a complaint against this man.

Scarry:
Men change, especially when their wives file for legal separation. My investigator found the court documents. He also found out that she took the kids and moved in with her mother.

Stabler:
[angry but controlled] You have no right to use my personal life to make your case.

Scarry:
I don't give a damn about your personal life unless it effects my client, and it does. Stay away from her! I want Detective Stabler off this case, and I want SVU to do its job.

[Stabler leaves; Benson goes after him]

Benson:
Elliott, hey, stop! What's going on?

Stabler:
I touched her in an inappropriate manner, didn't you hear?

Benson:
I don't believe that. Forget that. What's going on at home?

Stabler:
Nothing.

Benson:
Hey, would you talk to me?

[pause]

Stabler:
Kathy left me.

[Benson and Stabler attempt to interrogate Raymond Ettinger]

Raymond:
Well, uh, there's a key. I mean, actually, it's not really a key, it's made of hair. Follicles, you know? But I mean, I can look at a point on the wall and crawl right inside. That's only sometimes. Sometimes it's too sticky, but, y'know, he is not my friend. Not at all, no sir, I mean. Actually, there's something over us, inside the air. It's very funny actually, I was talking at inappropriate times, but my mom says, "You'd better use the pencil, not the crayon," but I actually think red isn't the color of blood anymore. I mean, everything is different. You guys have really changed. You should think about that.

Benson:
How's Dickie?

Stabler:
A handful. He's demanding cookie dough ice cream and Jackass 24-7. He reminds me so much of me, it's scary.

Benson:
Didn't know you were a Jackass fan.

Stabler:
They're gonna try to extradite your sorry ass back to Canada. I'm gonna make sure you stay right here.

Sebastian:
I believe you really mean that. I kinda grew on you, didn't I?