The Vampire Diaries, Season 4

Stefan:
You were in an accident.

Elena:
Oh, my god. Matt, is he--

Damon:
Alive? Ask Stefan, the hero.

Stefan:
He's fine.

Elena:
Thank you. I thought that I-- how did you...

Damon:
Save you? He didn't.

Damon:
We all know the drill-- you feed or you die. There is no door number three.

Elena:
I was ready to die. I was supposed to die, I don't-- I don't want-- I can't be a vampire!

Damon:
Your choice, Elena. As always.

Damon:
Way to get her hopes up for something that's never happened in the history of vampirism.

Damon:
And now that world has one more quarterback. Bravo, brother.

Stefan:
I made a choice that I will regret for the rest of my life. Now let me try to fix it.

Jeremy:
I need my sister. Not another one of them.

(Elena takes a bite of a sandwich)

Stefan:
It's disgusting.

Elena:
No, it's, um...

Stefan:
It's disgusting.

Elena:
Yeah, I'm going to puke. (gags and coughs). I never thought I'd be saying this, but I can't stop thinking about blood.

Elena:
Stefan, listen to me. You did the right thing. You did what you always do-- you respected my choice.

Stefan:
And what am I supposed to do if Bonnie can't figure out a way to help you, huh? Because then you'll have another choice to make-- either to let yourself die or become a vampire.

Elena:
Well, then we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. (Chuckles) Oh, my god. Did-- Did I just say "cross that bridge"? (Laughing)

Stefan:
You're laughing. I'm pretty sure you don't actually think that's funny.

Elena:
(laughing) I... I can't stop, though.

Stefan:
Your emotions are a bit heightened today. (Elena continues laughing) A lot heightened. (Elena starts gasping) Hey. (Elena starts sobbing) Shh. It's ok.

Elena:
I'm sorry. I--

Stefan:
Listen to me. No matter what happens, I'm here for you. I can help you.

Rebekah:
You should know better than to sneak up on a lady.

Damon:
Good advice. Have you seen one?

Rebekah:
Tragic about Elena. Not to make a gray cloud grayer, but does Matt even have automobile insurance?

Klaus (in Tyler's body):
Ah, you incessant woman. (As Tyler) Hey mom, what's up?

Elena:
Where's Stefan?

Pastor Young:
Where he can't hurt you.

Elena:
He would never hurt me. You have no idea what you're talking about.

Young:
Well, I know that where you go, Salvatore vampires seem to follow.

Klaus (In Tyler's body):
Easy, Love. Wrong time, wrong place, wrong equipment.

Caroline:
You're miraculously alive. We're fugitives on the run. All signs point to hot hybrid vampire sex. (Kissing) Did you just call me "love"?

Klaus:
I don't know, Love. Did I?

Caroline:
What the hell did you do to Tyler?

Klaus:
That's what I enjoy about you. So much more than a pretty face.

Caroline:
Oh, my god. You're Klaus! You're disgusting!

Klaus:
And you're a glorious kisser. (Caroline socks him) Listen... I didn't have to risk exposure to come save you.

Caroline:
Oh, you do one semi-decent thing and now you're my hero? Ugh! I need to go sanitize my mouth.

Klaus:
Your mouth was all over me. I was an innocent victim.

Rebekah:
I thought I killed you.

Rebekah:
Ah. I see what's going on here. You died with vampire blood in your system, and you didn't feed and now you're locked up in here without a drop of human blood in sight. That is a problem.

Stefan:
Just ignore her.

Rebekah:
Has anyone done the math or shall I? Let's say you've got less than three hours to feed before I get to watch you die all over again. My day just got a whole lot better.

Stefan:
Damon was right. You should have fed this morning. I'm so sorry.

Elena:
Don't be. You had hope. That's all I ever wanted you to have. And you had it.

Stefan:
I love you so much.

Elena:
Do you even know why I was on that bridge? I was coming back for you, Stefan. I had to choose. I picked you. Because I love you. No matter what happens, it's the best choice I ever made. I'm so sad I can't see you right now.

Stefan:
(crying, not smiling) I'm smiling.

Elena:
(also not smiling) Me too.

Matt:
So what? We just storm the place with zero weapons?

Damon:
Nah, we don't need weapons. Just bait. (lunges for Matt's throat). Yoo-hoo, anybody home? Big bad vampire out here.

Grams:
(only Bonnie can see her) I warned you child. I warned you to stay away.

Jeremy:
Bonnie, it works. Stop.

Bonnie:
(to Grams) What's happening? Let me go.

Grams:
I can't.

Bonnie:
Let me go!

Caroline:
Bonnie, what's happening?

Bonnie:
Why can't I let go?

Jeremy:
Bonnie, stop the spell.

Grams:
You made your choice. Now they're taking it out on me.

Bonnie:
I'm sorry Grams. (to the spirits) Please! Don't do this to her! (Grams is desiccating)

Caroline:
Bonnie, stop.

Bonnie:
No. No! NO! (Grams vanishes) What have I done? What'd I do?

Elena:
(in full vampire mode, to Damon about Matt) Leave him alone!

Matt:
Just stop. Stop saving me.

Stefan:
The hell's wrong with you?

Matt:
What do you want me to say? Thank you? 'Cause honestly, you should have just let me drown.

Stefan:
What? You think you were my first choice?

Matt:
Elena's a vampire, because of me. I have to live with that for the rest of my life.

Stefan:
No, no. You don't have to live with that. You get to live with that. Because Elena put your life before her own. So every morning you get out of bed, you sure as hell better earn it.

Elena:
I remember everything. One of the highlights of my transition; remembering everything that you compelled me to forget. Like you and I met first. You're a stranger and told me you wanted me to get everything I wanted from life. Damon, why didn't you tell me?

Damon:
Would it have made a difference? (pause) Didn't think so.

Elena:
You asked me to make a choice, Damon. And so I did. If you're going to be mad, then take it out on me. Not Stefan, or Matt, or anyone else. Me.

Damon:
Are we done here?

Elena:
If it had been you at the bridge last night and not Stefan, and I begged you...

Damon:
I would have saved you. In a heartbeat. No question.

Elena:
What I thought. And then Matt would be dead, because you couldn't let go. Matt would be dead.

Damon:
But you wouldn't be. And you would have gotten to grow up. Live the life you wanted, the life you deserve. And I know that I didn't use to get that. But I do now. And I wanted that for you, Elena. And I would have gladly given it to you and let Matt die. Because I am that selfish. But you knew that already. First night we met's not the only thing you remember.

Rebekah:
How dare you save Caroline over me.

Klaus (in his own body):
Hello, Brother. I thought you were dead. So pleased you're not.

Rebekah:
You left me.

Klaus:
I only had time to save one of you and you can't be killed. Rest assured I had a worse day than you. I think it's time for us to move on. And find some more werewolves.

Rebekah:
So you can create your hybrid family? You don't know anything about family.

Klaus:
I know how easily they can be silenced with a dagger. (Rebekah grabs a bag of Elena's blood and throws it against a wall, then grabs the remaining two) NO! Drop them.

Rebekah:
I mourned you! My heart broke thinking I'd never see you again.

Klaus:
Put the blood down, Rebekah. That's a good girl.

Rebekah:
It's always been me. It's always been me. Not Finn, nor Elijiah, or Kol. Me. I loved you through everything and you don't even care.

Klaus:
DROP IT!

Rebekah:
You want your family? (squeezes the bags until they burst) Here's your family!

Klaus:
(grabs Rebekah by the throat) You know something, Rebekah? You're right. I don't care. From this moment on, you're not my family. You're not my sister. You are nothing.

Elena:
You don't have to convince me that everything's going to be okay.

Stefan:
I know. Wish I could though. Wish I could just tell you that you never feel pain. That you'll never crave blood. But you will. It will be the worst thing you ever lived through.

Elena:
But I'll get to live. I'll be a sister, and a friend, and I'll be with you. Forever, if I want. (kisses Stefan) I'm going to get through this. Just like we get through everything. One day at a time.

Damon:
You're making a big mistake.

Stefan:
No, I'm not. If I can get Elena use to animal blood right out of the gate..

Damon:
You're reaching.

Stefan:
Maybe she'd be able to bypass all the things we went through.

Damon:
Delusional.

Stefan:
Maybe she actually has a shot at this.

Damon:
Wrong. You're just wrong, Stefan.

Elena:
I was a cheerleader. I suck at track.

Stefan:
Just concentrate, kay.

Elena:
I can't. All I can think about is your hands on my body.

Stefan:
Okay. (removes hands from her waist)

Elena:
(replaces his hands) No, no, no. I didn't say take them off. It feels good.

Damon:
Seriously. Stop looking at me like that, Liz. If I was going to kill 12 people, I wouldn't blow them up; I'd have a dinner party.

Stefan:
(on what they are celebrating) You're alive-ish.

Elena:
Did you do it?

Damon:
That seat's taken.

Elena:
But there's no one here.

Damon:
Well, I'm just gonna pretend someone's there because the alternative is just too damn depressing.

Elena:
(after walking around the the other empty seat) Did you set off the explosion that killed the town counsel?

Damon:
Am I wearing my "I blew up the counsel" t-shirt? Why does everyone keep asking me that?

Caroline:
This is wrong. A bunch of people just died and we're having sex.

Tyler:
Grief sex. It's healthy.

Stefan:
Bonnie. Bonnie, I know you're in there. I can hear you breathing.

Damon:
And the scenery is to die for. Ah. Funeral pun. Too soon. Sorry.

Damon:
She can't even keep my blood down.

Stefan:
She drank from you?

Damon:
Oops. Did I just say that out loud?

Caroline:
(about Conner) Also, if he shows his face, I'm gonna kick his ass.

Tyler:
I'm going to kill that bastard.

(Stefan punches Damon)

Damon:
What was that for?

Stefan:
You know what.

Damon:
They're floating lanterns in the sky. Can you believe that? Japanese lanterns as a symbol of letting go of the past. Well, here's a newsflash: we're not Japanese! You know what they are? Children. Like lighting a candle's going to make everything ok. Or even singing a prayer, or pretending Elena's not going to end up like the rest of us murderous vampires. Stupid, delusional, exasperating little children. And I know what you're going to say: "Makes them feel better Damon". So what? For how long? A minute? A day? What difference does it make? Because in the end, when you lose somebody, every candle, every prayer is not going to make for the only thing you have left is a hole in your life where that somebody you cared about use to be. And a rock. With a birthday carved into it that I'm pretty sure is wrong. So, thanks, friend. You would leave me here to babysit. 'Cause I should be long gone by now. I didn't get the girl. Remember? I'm just stuck here fighting with my brother and taking care of the kids. You owe me big.

Alaric:
(as a ghost) I miss you too, buddy.

Damon:
Good day for a midlife crisis. 164 years, I'd say you're due.

Damon:
That hunter jacked Tyler Lockwood of his werewolf venom last night. So basically he's got vampire poison in a bottle. And I'm going to find him, and I'm going to eat him.

Elena:
I hate her. I didn't think I was capable of hate, but I hate her. And I hate that I hate her.

Stefan:
How about we just leave the murdering to Damon.

Elena:
And then do what? Ignore her to death?

Caroline:
You're good at this, you know that. You saved my vampire life, now you're saving hers. You should write a book. Go on The View.

Tyler:
Haley?

Haley:
Hey, Lockwolf.

Meredith:
Tell me that is not a bomb.

Damon:
Ok. It's a kitten. It's an adorable, exploding kitten.

Meredith:
Why didn't you call your brother?

Damon:
Because I'm proud and stubborn and, oh, look. You're already here. Come on, you're not going to get hurt. All I need you to do is be doctorly, and cut out the arrow. I'd do it myself but if I move (tugs on one of the strings, then mimics an explosion).

Meredith:
You are a good brother.

Damon:
I'm the bad brother.

Meredith:
You're strung up to a bomb while Stefan plays vampire with the girl who broke your heart. But you are doing a very good job of acting like it doesn't suck.

(Damon starts undressing)

Elena:
You know he was in my school today?

Damon:
Yep. Jeremy told me.

Elena:
Why were you talking to Jeremy?

Damon:
Don't worry about it.

Elena:
Damon, don't bring him into this.

Damon:
Cherish the thought he might actually be useful, Elena. (starts to unzip his jeans) You staying for the show, or... (unbuttons jeans)

Elena:
(leaving) I'm finding that stake.

Stefan:
(At Rebekah's new house/anti-curfew party) Wow. We didn't have to be invited in. Wonder who use to live here.

Elena:
Or who died here.

Caroline:
I ditched Rebekah's ditching party. (Kisses Tyler, then notices Klaus's bodyguards for Tyler) What's with all the testosterone?

Tyler:
Hybrids. I'm on house arrest.

Caroline:
Says who? Your mom? Come on, let's sneak out.

Tyler:
Ah, not my mom, Caroline...

Caroline:
You're kidding me. Klaus?

Klaus:
You're a new face.

Haley:
And I take it from your accent, you're an old one. Klaus.

Klaus:
My reputation precedes me. Hopefully not all bad.

Haley:
A little bad. Mostly repulsive.

Klaus:
So you're a friend of Tyler's. Strange he's never mentioned you.

April:
You know you use to read me bed time stories.

Elena:
And now I'm giving you beer. Sounds about right.

Stefan:
(about the final remaining white oak stake) Damon give that to you?

Elena:
Yes. Reluctantly. Stefan, she's-- she's not going to stop. She's just going to keep pushing and pushing.

Stefan:
Well if you want to kill her, I'm not going to stop you. But see, here's what will happen. It will feel really good for about ten seconds. And then after that, tens of thousands of vampires all over the world will start to die. Every vampire she ever turned will die. See, rage is a really powerful feeling. But guilt... take it from me. It will destroy you. So. You can either go after her or you can get on the back of my motorcycle. And we can get the hell out of here.

Klaus:
She's quite fetching that Haley.

Tyler:
Where is she?

Klaus:
Oh, she had to run, but don't worry I had her take the back door so Caroline wouldn't see.

Tyler:
Whatever you think you know--

Klaus:
I don't know anything. But I've put together a pretty convincing picture. Why don't you tell me where my imagination deviates from the reality. You went off to the Appalachians to break my sire bond. There you met a pack of werewolves, begged them for help. And among them was a girl. She was gorgeous. With the same animal instincts as you. Emotions ran high, inhibitions ran low--

Tyler:
Stop it.

Klaus:
Then, in a moment of weakness, the thick sexual tension became something much more real.

Tyler:
I said stop!

Klaus:
And Caroline has no idea.

Connor:
Is the hospital really the best place for a germaphobe?

Damon:
Did I say that I was a germaphobe? Pfft. Sorry. I meant vampire.

Matt:
You don't look so hot.

Rebekah:
Whatever it is, it's not the white oak stake, so it can't kill me. Surprised you came to my party.

Matt:
Well I thought about it. You explained why you ran me off the bridge, so the least I can do is explain how I feel. Truth is, Rebekah, I think you're amazing. You've had a thousand years to learn, to grow and to start fresh. And somehow, you've managed to throw it all away. Now you're alone. You're compelling your friends, your brother hates you. You whine about not finding love. The reason you don't find love, is because you don't deserve it. (Rebekah snatches out his heart, only it is a hallucination due to the werewolf venom she ingested)

Damon:
Keep it up, buddy. We'll be scraping you off the ceiling.

Connor:
You two are going to kill me anyway.

Klaus:
Well, let's not be too hasty. I feel like we're just getting to know each other.

Damon:
Start with the basics. Where are you from? What do you know? Maybe even cue me in on this greater evil, because I fought this guy (jerks thumb in Klaus's direction) and there's nothing more evil than that.

Klaus:
Yeah, truth be told, I'm as evil as it gets.

Connor:
I'm not telling you anything. You think that if you kill me it will be over? There's another waiting to take my place.

Damon:
See, this is what I like to hear. Vague threats, ominous prophecies, disappearing tattoos--

Klaus:
(Loses his smirk) What do you mean tattoos?

Damon:
Don't bother, you can't see the damn thing.

Klaus:
There's more to you than meets the eye, isn't there? (Connor attempts to stake Klaus) Nice try. But I'm faster than your average vampire. (Takes the stake from Connor and looks at the carving on it) You're one of The Five.

Damon:
The what?

Connor:
And I'm faster than your average hunter. (pulls the string attached to a bomb)

(Elena is hallucinating, seeing Damon instead of Stefan)

Elena:
Why am I thinking about you?

Damon:
Because you're a vampire now. And part of you knows you're a lot more like me, than you are like him.

Damon:
Come one, buy me a farewell drink. Talk about that the hell Klaus meant by "The Five".

Meredith:
You know you're not going anywhere, Damon. And I'm not you're new partner in vampire crime. Fix things with Stefan and Elena. Don't let your pride leave you all alone.

Caroline:
Hey.

Stefan:
Hey. Thanks for coming.

Caroline:
Not everyday that I get summoned by a Salvatore. So what's up?

Stefan:
(sighs) Do you remember what you were like before you turned?

Caroline:
Um, you mean an insecure control freak? (Stefan chuckles) Yeah.

Stefan:
You grew into yourself when you became a vampire. You changed. And Elena, she's changing too. And I want her to be able to enjoy it. Without all the guilt and shame that I went through. And there was a moment today when she did. And when I'm with her, every bone in my body tells me to join her, to enjoy it. (pause) But I know that if I do, even a little, I risk becoming him. The Ripper. I love her. And I don't want to hold her back.

Caroline:
But you don't know how to be around her and still resist that urge.

Stefan:
Damon promised he'd help me stay off the edge. But, it's, ah, he and I aren't in a very good place right now. Not when it comes to her. I just thought, you're so good at it. At being a vampire.

Caroline:
(scoffs) Because of you, Stefan. I'm good at it because of you. (pause) Come to me. Whenever you want. I won't let you loose control.

Elena:
(after taking a little too much from Matt) What have I done?

Damon:
Nothing you should be ashamed of. You are a vampire now. You just have to learn the right way to be one. And I'm going to teach you.

Connor:
You saved me.

Klaus:
Congratulations. You just became worth more to me alive than dead.

Connor:
What...what did you mean when you said I was one of "The Five"?

Klaus:
You don't know your own history. Well let's just say it's made you the most well protected vampire hunter in town.

Damon:
I'm searching for a supernatural handbook.

Stefan:
You know for a fact that he was supernatural?

Damon:
Definitely wasn't natural. Guy magically appears just as someone blows up the entire Founders' Council, covered in tattoos that only Jeremy Gilbert, of all people in the world, seems to be able to see. Klaus mentioned something about him being one of The Five. And he kamakazis himself with explosives. Sound natural to you?

Stefan:
What's The Five?

Damon:
That's what I'm hoping is in the first chapter of the handbook. (phone rings) Liz Forbes, my favorite sheriff. (pause, as Liz is saying something) What? (pause again) That's concerning. (another pause) Keep me posted.

Stefan:
(after shooting at Elena with a crossbow) A little slow. Almost got you.

Elena:
That's why we are not using the wood ones for Hunter Defense Class.

Stefan:
What about Caroline? She's a genius at self-control.

Elena:
She's too good. She doesn't understand how hard it is, and you, well... I know what being around too much blood does to you, so... I can't put you through that.

Stefan:
(vamp speeds behind Elena, holding the shaft of an arrow against her throat) So I guess that leaves Damon, huh?

Elena:
(flips him over her shoulder, straddles him, and holds the arrow against his throat) Don't be jealous. You know I wish it could be you.

Stefan:
Fine. You win.

Klaus:
(after watching Rebekah attempt to give Matt a new truck) You're trying too hard.

Rebekah:
Last I heard you were leaving town, forever.

Klaus:
Well, I was. But, then I thought to myself, how can I when my sister, clearly so desperate for love and affection, is left here, bribing the help.

Rebekah:
What do you want, Nik? Thought I was dead to you.

Klaus:
Things change, Rebekah. I've stumbled upon something I think might be of interest to you.

Rebekah:
Doubt that.

Klaus:
No? Well, what if I told you the Brotherhood of the Five still existed?

Rebekah:
(clearly shocked) What?

Klaus:
You see. And like that, bygones. Come on, love. Work to do.

Rebekah:
We don't have anything to do. There is no "we". I don't care about the Five. And I don't care about you.

Klaus:
As you wish.

Elena:
Something tells me college isn't in my future anymore.

Damon:
Oh, stop with the pity party. If I can go to college, you can go to college.

Bonnie:
You went to college?

Damon:
Sure. Plenty of times. I always had a thing for sorority girls.

Bonnie:
You're disgusting.

Damon:
(whispering) I know.

Damon:
(about Professor Shane) What is this guy? Witchipedia?

Klaus:
Fine. You might actually be useful in getting Rebekah to cooperate. The Brotherhood of the Five was a group of highly skilled vampire hunters. We crossed paths with them in the 12th century Italy. (Flashback to 1114, voice over) My siblings and I had followed the Normans as they conquered the south. Eating, turning people as we went.

Alexander:
(one of the Five) These, demons live among you. Passing as human.

Klaus:
(still a voice over) But with the bloodshed came exposure.

Alexander:
So witness with your own eyes... (opens a metal box to reveal a vampire, who walks into the sunlight and bursts into flames)

Elijah:
He's putting on quite a show.

Klaus:
He's nothing. I could eat him for sport.

Elijah:
Still you should heed the warning. Between you here and Kol in the east, you have not been discrete. Stories of the original vampires is spreading.

Klaus:
I welcome the infamy. But if you're worried about discretion, perhaps you should wrangle our sister. (pan to Rebekah, flirting with Alexander)

Stefan:
(back to modern day) So these hunters have been around for 900 years?

Klaus:
Apparently. Although our friend in the other room (Conner) is the first I've seen since then. Kind of makes you wonder what they'd been up to all these years.

Stefan:
And Rebekah had a thing with one of them?

Klaus:
Oh, she didn't just have a thing. She fell in love with him. He told her all his secrets, which I will gladly share with you, provided you do one thing for me.

Stefan:
And what's that?

Klaus:
Get Rebekah over here. She's being stubborn and hateful. I-- I need to make peace with her. I want her to give me some very important information about the hunter that she won't do unless we've made up.

Stefan:
And what's in it for me?

Klaus:
Just get her here and I'll tell you. Oh, and Stefan, trust me when I say this. That hunter in there holds the answers to all your prayers.

Matt:
(about April and Rebekah) You two are friends?

Rebekah:
What? Is it so hard to believe I have one?

Matt:
Yeah. It is.

Damon:
(about the frat party)So what should we go as? Victim or killers?

Klaus:
Rebekah, Love. Eat your veggies.

Rebekah:
I'm not eating until you apologize.

Klaus:
For which indiscretion? There have been so many.

Rebekah:
You broke my neck.

Klaus:
You threw away Elena's blood so I can't make anymore hybrids.

Rebekah:
Because you took me for granted!

Klaus:
That's what big brothers do, sweetheart.

Stefan:
Can I just name the million other people I'd rather be having dinner with right now?

Damon:
I'm Jack and these are the two lovely ladies I just-- rippered.

Elena:
I think I found one.

Damon:
Roofie guy?

Elena:
Mmhm.

Damon:
Nice choice. Go get him.

Elena:
Dear Diary, I know it's been a while. A long while. I haven't needed... I haven't wanted to write this stuff down. But I didn't want to say it out loud either. The thing is.. I'm a vampire. And I hate it.

Stefan:
(writing in journal) She's been spiraling since her transition. There are times I barely recognize her. But now, the first time in a while, there's hope.

Elena:
I feel hopeless. Depressed. Angry. But most of all... I'm scared.

Stefan:
Somewhere in the world, there's a cure for vampires. If I can get it, Elena can be human again. I can giver her back her life.

Elena:
Part of me just wants to end it. But, then I think of Jeremy; I'm all that he has left. So I need to find a way through this. No matter what it takes.

Stefan:
So that's what I need to do. No matter what Klaus asks; no matter what lies I have to tell or secrets I have to keep, I'll do it. No matter what it takes.

Klaus:
You need to keep Damon in check.

Stefan:
Be a lot easier if I could tell him the truth.

Klaus:
You trust Damon with the cure? I imagine he prefers Elena the way she is.

Stefan:
Nice try, Klaus, but I trust Damon a hell of a lot more than I trust you.

Klaus:
And I trust no one. Which is why my sister is lying daggered in a box.

Elena:
(after Damon walks into her bedroom) Oh. Excuse me. What are you doing?

Damon:
Where's Stefan?

Elena:
Okay. Ah, good morning to you too.

Damon:
He's not answering his phone and he's not here. Which, you know, big deal, we've only got a killer vampire hunter on the loose.

Elena:
I haven't talked to him yet today.

Damon:
Hmm. Give me your phone. Maybe he's dodging me.

Elena:
Why would he be dodging you?

Damon:
Oh, I don't know. Maybe the hot sweaty dance party business? Figured you spilled your guilty little guts to him when I left last night. (Elena looks away) Oh, you didn't tell him, did you?

Elena:
No, Damon. I didn't tell him I got high on blood like some crackhead then dirty danced with you. It was a mistake, okay? I wasn't...myself. And besides he's already got enough to deal with, trying to get me through this vampire stuff.

Damon:
Oh, I see. Classic shame spiral.

Elena:
I'm not in a shame spiral.

Damon:
Oh you so are. Newbie vampire remorse? Whoof, it's worse than a hangover.

Elena:
I'm not in a shame spiral, Damon.

(Stefan's voicemail picks up)

Damon:
So either he's dodging both of us...

Elena:
Or something's wrong.

Damon:
Where have you been?

Stefan:
Coming up with a plan.

Damon:
Yeah, we have a plan. Plan is I'm going to rip Connor's heart out and feed it to him.

Stefan:
That's not a plan. We need to be careful. Connor has Jeremy and who knows how many other hostages.

Damon:
Hence the open heart surgery.

Elena:
Damon's right. Connor's strong but he's not going to be able to take all of us.

Tyler:
I called in the hybrids to help, too.

Caroline:
My mom put squad cars blocking the streets. They're saying it's a faulty gas main. We're good to go.

Damon:
Good. Great. No cops, no witnesses, no reason to wait around.

Stefan:
Alright, hold on. We're not all going.

Tyler:
He shot me like nine times. If we're going to kill him, I want in.

Elena:
He's got Jeremy, I'm going.

Stefan:
Listen, nobody is going anywhere until I figure out what we're walking into.

Damon:
Until you figure it out? Is that where you've been all morning? Buying bossypants?

Damon:
(about Matt and April) Those two idiots. They're like danger magnets.

Damon:
Bang, you're dead. Now what?

Elena:
(vamp speeds, grabs the gun, pins him on the bed, aims gun at his heart) Head shot's no good. It has to be the heart. So now you're dead.

Damon:
(laughs) Huh. For someone who doesn't want to be like me, you sure are good at it.

Elena:
My brother is the only thing that's holding me together right now, Damon. If anything happens to him...

Damon:
We'll get him out. I promise.

Damon:
Since when do we team up with Klaus and the lollipop guild?

Caroline:
Ah, who are you?

Haley:
Who the hell are you?

Caroline:
Caroline.

Haley:
Oh. You're Tyler's girl. Told me about you. I'm Haley.

Caroline:
Well, Haley. That's pretty crazy, 'cause I haven't heard a thing about you.

Haley:
Well, I've been staying here for a few days.

Caroline:
Excuse me?

Haley:
I needed a place to crash, Ty's a buddy, he was kind enough to offer.

Caroline:
I know all of Ty's buddies and I haven't heard about you. So how about we cut out the crap?

Haley:
Yeah. I don't do teen drama. Take it up with Ty. Excuse me.

Damon:
(about Connor) This guy's dangerous.

Elena:
SO AM I, DAMON!

Caroline appears in the doorway, Tyler and Haley are hugging

Caroline:
Oh, I apologize. Am I intruding?

Tyler:
Caroline, it's not like that.

Caroline:
I keep waiting for you to make up some dumb story so at least I can call you a liar. Is that now?

Haley:
I'll let you two talk.

Caroline:
Thank you. How big of you.

Tyler:
You have to understand--

Caroline:
You don't tell me what I have to do. I went through hell when I thought you died. I cried like an idiot and this whole time you've been keeping a secret from me about falling for some werewolf in the Appalachians.

Tyler:
I never fell for her.

Caroline:
Oh, please.

Tyler:
Caroline, she saved my life. I almost died trying to break the sire bond. Haley was there for me, she helped me get through it. But nothing else happened.

Caroline:
Then why would Klaus think that?

Tyler:
Because I'd rather him think that then know the truth. There are other hybrids that need to be set free. Haley and I can help them. But if Klaus found out about what we're trying to do... he'd kill us all.

Stefan:
Is that my journal?

Damon:
Had to go through six locks to get it. Needed something to back up your insanity. Did you figure out how to tell Klaus you lost a hunter and a hybrid?

Stefan:
He's on a plane. Which means I get to live for another six hours.

Damon:
Well, I got your back, when he comes to murder you.

Stefan:
(sarcastically) Thanks. (seriously) Thanks for not saying anything to Elena.

Damon:
About what? The cure that we don't have, can't find and probably doesn't exist? You're welcome.

Stefan:
She doesn't need to know that she killed her chance at being human again.

Damon:
Alleged chance.

Stefan:
I believe him, Damon. You didn't hear Klaus' story. I believe every word he said.

Damon:
Well, I'll remain skeptic for now. So what's your next move?

Stefan:
He said there was a Brotherhood of the Five. Which means there are others hunters out there. Just going to keep looking until I find one.

Damon:
Sure, Stefan, since you asked, I'd be happy to go one a suicide mission with you for a potentially non-existant cure. No problem.

Stefan:
Yet a couple hours ago you were ready to rip my heart out.

Damon:
Because you were being a pain in the ass. I just need one thing- Why do you want to cure her?

Stefan:
What kind of question is that?

Damon:
Legitimate one. You want a cure because she's a vampire and not cut out to be one or you can't love her if she is one?

Stefan:
I'll always love her. But she's not supposed to be this person. I don't want her to be.

Damon:
Well, if I'm gonna ride this fairytale to it's conclusion, I'm gonna be clear about one thing.

Stefan:
What's that?

Damon:
I'm fine with her either way, Brother. So, I do this, I'm doing it for you.

Elena:
Dear Diary, Today I did the thing I was most afraid of. I lost control. I killed someone. I use to think that the worst feeling in the world was losing someone you love, but I was wrong. The worst feeling is the moment that you realize...you've lost yourself.

Elena:
What am I going to say to him?

Damon:
Thanks for not ditching the family ring after it drove Ric crazy.

Jeremy:
What happened?

Damon:
Long story. Buy the e-book.

Bonnie:
You lost her?

Damon:
Well, "lost" is a very strong word, we just technically don't know where she is.

Stefan:
I'm more worried about what Klaus said about this Hunter's Curse.

Shane:
Why, you got a dead Hunter in the trunk of your car or something?

Damon:
Metaphorically speaking.

Shane:
Legend says that if a Hunter is killed by that which it hunts, then that person will be cursed to walk the earth and torment them till...

Bonnie:
Until...

Shane:
Until a new Hunter's awakened and their legacy's passed on. They're called "Potentials".

Damon:
(on phone) Little Gilbert. Your services are needed.

Damon:
The witch who loses her powers gets left out of important conversations.

Stefan:
(on phone with Damon) Listen, you go find her, alright? Talk her down. She'll listen to you.

Damon:
Elena.

Elena:
Damon?Have did you find me?

Damon:
It dindn't take a genius to figure that out.Third time to charmed.

Elena:
You were right , Damon.Vampires kill people.Stefan was right too.I can't live with myself.

Damon:
Let's just talk about this before you do something stupid.Okay?Where is your ring?Where is your ring , Elena?

Elena:
Yeah, but if it wasn't for you... (grabs Damon's hand)

Damon:
(sighs) I'm about to take a very... high and annoying road and tell you something. Because I know that you think Stefan's been lying to you. Which, yeah. He has. But this... rough patch that you two have been going through, it's not what you think. Everything that he's been doing, he's been doing for you. To help you. And after he kills me for telling you this, I want you to throw my ashes off of Wickery Bridge, ok? (Elena chuckles) There may be a way out of this for you, Elena. There may be a cure.

Matt:
I know you don't like me.

Damon:
Heh.

Matt:
But I dug up some stuff about the explosion at the Young Farm that I kind of need to tell someone about. So April mentioned that her dad knew that Professor Shane guy, which wouldn't be creepy, except he had all that info about the Hunter's Curse. And we live in a town where anybody who knows stuff is creepy until proven otherwise.

Damon:
You're on the verge of impressing me. Drive it home.

Matt:
I got the Sheriff to dig up the Pastor's phone records. Turns out, he made like a call a day to the same number the last month he was alive. And on the day that the council got blown up at the farm, he called it ten times. The office of Atticus Shane.

Elena:
(as Jeremy is lying on the couch) I can't believe this happened. What am I going to say to him?

Damon:
Thanks for not ditching the family ring after it drove Ric crazy? You should have called Stefan.

Elena:
I don't want to talk to him. He's been lying to me and hiding things from me. He compelled Jeremy to forget God knows what.

Damon:
In all fairness, I mean, I think you killing him kinda trumps that.

Klaus:
Well, life's full of ifs, Stefan. But let's accentuate the positives, shall we? The hunter was one of five; we'll find another. It may take centuries, but we've got nothing but time, right?

Stefan:
You're using your calm voice today. Who's getting killed?

Klaus:
Not you, if that's what you're worried about. But I am concerned about your beloved. Have the hallucinations started yet?

Elena:
(about the visions from killing a hunter) You went through this?

Klaus:
Yes, I did. For fifty-two years, four months, and nine days. I was tormented, in my dreams, my every waking moment, relentless, never ending torture. It was the only period of my life when I actually felt time.

Elena:
So, you knew that this would happen if Connor died? That's why you got involved. Did Stefan know too?

Klaus:
All he knew was that the hunter had to be kept alive. You should have listened to him when he said he had it covered, love.

Stefan:
She said she has feelings for Damon.

Caroline:
What? She can't have feelings for Damon. He's...Damon. And you're you, and I'm...revolted. You know, I'm gonna talk to her. I'm going to shake some sense into her clearly diseased brain.

Klaus:
In what world do the words "tell no one" mean "tell your brother and every teenage sycophant in town"?

Damon:
Ok. I see shady Stefan's back. Please don't tell me that you're still working with Klaus.

Stefan:
You obviously haven't heard. Elena and I broke up.

Damon:
Oh. Got it. Uh, well, I'll be quick, then. So apparently if we want to find the cure, we have to find a vampire hunter who can kill enough vampires to reveal the map on the Hunter's Mark. Now, unless we want Jeremy to go all Connor 2.0, I suggest we find a different hunter.

Stefan:
Ok. And?

Damon:
And I was gonna ask Professor Shane, but it turns out he's shadier than you are. Matt Donovan connected him and the pastor through phone records. Apparently the two were very chatty the day that the pastor blew up the Council.

Stefan:
Ah. So you're gonna confront Shane, threaten him, possibly kill him-- that sort of thing?

Damon:
Yeah, unless he tells me what he's up to. What do you say? We tag team?

Stefan:
Nah. I'd say you're on your own.

Damon:
Or we could just blow it off, then-- go get drunk, brother-bond over some TriDelts. If you... you know, want some quality time.

Stefan:
Let's not pretend like this isn't the best day of your life.

Klaus:
I was wondering what time I should pick you up tomorrow.

Caroline:
How about a quarter to never.

Klaus:
I was promised a date in return for one of my hybrids.

Caroline:
Yes. A date, like to a movie, where we don't have to talk and I can put at least three seats between us.

Haley:
I can't believe that I won. I just want to thank the judges for seeing past the fact that I'm a raging bitch.

Tyler:
You don't want to do that. Those girls will cut you. They have nails.

Haley:
I have claws.

Klaus:
Life use to be a lot easier. Don't you miss the days of being... "chair of the Mystic Falls beautification committee." And the "Director of the Policemen's Yearly Raffle"?

Caroline:
Is that my Miss Mystic application? Where did you get that?

Klaus:
"When I am chosen, I intend to redefine excellence"... Now I'm really enjoying your use of "when" here. It's very confident.

Caroline:
Mm-hmm.

Klaus:
"And above all, I promise to aspire, inspire and perspire." Obviously, we found a shortage of words ending in "spire."

Shane:
I must be the least intimidating mass murderer ever.

Stefan:
He's [Jeremy] the only way to fix all of this.

Elena:
You mean me, the only way to fix me. You don't have to love me like this. This is who I am now. The old Elena died when she went off that bridge. Let her go.

Elena:
I can't stay at home anymore.

Stefan:
Pick a room. I'll crash somewhere else.

Elena:
My brother wants to kill me.

Damon:
Welcome to the club.

Elena:
Jeremy can't live with me , Stefan wants to fix me and Caroline flared admid it that she doesn't like me this way.Clearly I'm not good at this vampire thing.

Damon:
You know what I think?I think I never see you more alive.

Elena:
That dance that they did today kind of remind me whan...

Damon:
When we danced together?

Elena:
I wanted to dance with you.(They dance)

Elena:
What's that face?

Damon:
What face?(do his eye thing)

Elena:
That face.

Damon:
I'm happy.

Damon:
The sire bond's not that literal, Stefan.

Stefan:
Really? Name one thing that you've asked her [Elena] to do that you haven't gotten.

Damon:
You know what I haven't gotten? Blame, guilt. I get it Stefan. I get that you're pissed that Elena dumped you because she has feelings for me. Bet you blame the sire bond for that, too.

Stefan:
Yeah. You know what, I absolutely do.

Damon:
Why, because it's impossible to think that she could have feelings for me?

Stefan:
No. Because it's impossible for her to be so blind that she doesn't see how wrong you are for her.

Lexi:
He [Stefan] needs balance and restraint.

Damon:
What makes you think that I'm not balanced and restrained?

Lexi:
The fact that you never have been.

Damon:
Charlotte. Please tell me you had a full life and you've done something other than counting bricks.

Charlotte:
Of course I have. I'm not crazy.

Stefan:
Then why're you still here?

Charlotte:
You know when someone breaks up with you and there's a song that reminds you of them? First you hate it, but then it brings back all the good memories of them. Counting the bricks is my song and I've been playing it for decades.

Stefan:
That's a really long time. Stop listening to the same song.

Damon:
Yeah. Well, uh, you know in the plus column, you know New Orleans better than anyone in the world.

Charlotte:
So you're just leaving me again?

Damon:
No. I need to get on with my life. And so do you.

Charlotte:
I don't want to live without you.

Damon:
If you want to make me happy, you will. You just, forget about me. You'll never think of me again and you'll find someone new and you'll be happier than ever. Please, stop crying.

Charlotte:
I'm never gonna be able to forget about you.

Damon:
Yes, you are. And I'm never going to be happy until you realize that you're never gonna have the life you deserve if I'm in it. Goodbye Charlotte.

Elena:
Hey.

Damon:
Hey back.

Elena:
How was your night?

Damon:
Awful.Yours?

Elena:
Same.

Damon:
Elena , we need to talk.

Elena:
I know that I am sired to you , Damon.Calorine told me.That's what you and Stefan were doing.Isn't it?Is there way to break it?

Damon:
Not exactly.Which is why we need to talk.

Elena.Tyler told me the bond doesn't fact how I feel just a way I act.My feelings for you haven't changed.Nothing is changed.

Damon:
Everything is changed , Elena.

Elena:
Ok.Fine.I've changed , but so have you , Damon.And I'm happy.Just like you were yesterday morning before we knew about any of this.

Damon:
You wouldn't make me happy.That I know that this entire time when I'll be completly in love with you.That would you actually felt for me was real.

Elena:
It is real.I know that it is.Damon , I know what you're about to do.Please , don't do this to me.

Damon:
I don't wanna do this , Elena.I'm not the good guy , remember?I'm the selfish one.I take what I want.I do what I want.I lie to my brother.I fall in love with his girl.I don't do the right thing!But I have to do right thing by you!

Elena:
Is this feel wrong?Is this feel wrong.

Stefan:
Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves, you know.

Klaus:
What is the point of my hybrids being sired to me if I can't maximize all the benefits of free labor?

Damon:
I was supposed to do the right thing by you and the right thing by my brother. Which is what I'm gonna do right now. You're going to go home.

Elena:
What? No. Damon.

Damon:
I'm going to stay here with Jeremy. We'll complete the mark, I'll teach him how to hunt, I'll protect him. And we'll kill vampires. Without you.

Elena:
Damon, please.

Damon:
I'm setting you free Elena. This is what I want. This is what will make me happy.

Stefan:
You know, I thought I'd be happier by watching Klaus led away to the slaughter. But for some reason I can't help, but feel kind of...guilty.

Caroline:
Yeah. You and me, both. All day I've been trying to remind myself of all the horrible things he's done.

Stefan:
That's the thing. We've all done horrible things. I'm sitting here trying to figure out what makes us any better than him. And I think that it's just that we have family we trust.

Caroline:
Yeah. You're right, Stefan. Trust is everything. Have you heard from Damon?

Stefan:
Yeah. He's still with Jeremy at the lake house.

Caroline:
Did he happen to mention where Elena was?

Stefan:
Wait. Why are you... Why are you asking me this? They're together, aren't they? How together are they?

Caroline:
(Silent)

Stefan:
Caroline, tell me. How together are they?

Caroline:
(Silent)

Carol Lockwood:
(looks at Klaus) His my son, he's all I have.

Klaus:
(looking at Carol with a serious look) You're all he has, too.

April:
Was that necessary?

Rebekah:
No. But it was fun.

Rebekah:
Did I say you could move? Class is in session. You've all been compelled. You know the rules. Answer my questions honestly, no disobedience, no one leaves. April my sweet, take notes. This is how you get answers in this town. Let's start with a little quiz. In 1114, my brother learned-- thanks to yours truly-- about the brotherhood of vampire hunters with tattoos that grew with each kill. And these tattoos revealed what? Elena?

Elena:
A map.

Rebekah:
Which lead to, Caroline?

Caroline:
A cure for vampirism.

Rebekah:
Perfect. We're all caught up. Stefan Salvatore, the last time we saw each other, you had a vampire hunter, but in order to decode the map, you needed the location of the hunters sword, which you got out of me using some very dirty tricks. Assuming you found the sword, you must have found the cure, and yet you're all still vampires, which means something went wrong. What are you doing?

April:
You asked me to take notes.

Rebekah:
I wasn't being literal, darling. But now that you mention it, a flow chart would be nice, which means index cards and push pins. Go fetch.

Stefan:
You're wasting your time. We don't know anything.

Rebekah:
So you just gave up? I though you'd do anything to save Elena, even if it meant taking the cure yourself. So you could grow old and die with her. (to Elena) Why do you look so surprised? I'm missing something. What is it?

Caroline:
They broke up, ok? Now let us go.

Rebekah:
Broke up? Wait, I'm confused. I thought Elena was your epic love, Stefan. (pause) I asked you what happened, and now you have to tell me.

Stefan:
She slept with Damon.

Rebekah:
So, vampire Elena is a trollop who likes bad boys, which explains why Stefan reeks of alcohol. But what it doesn't explain is why sweet, loving, innocent Elena could be so heartless towards Stefan. How could she hurt you like that? (pause) Answer, please.

Stefan:
She didn't know it at the time, but she was sired to Damon.

Rebekah:
A sire bond. Fascinating. And what do you think about that, Elena.

Elena:
I think you're sad and bored and in desperate need for a hobby.

Rebekah:
You're hiding something. 'Fess up.

Elena:
I didn't sleep with Damon because of his sire bond. I slept with Damon because I'm in love with him.

Caroline:
What does any of this have to do with the stupid cure?

Rebekah:
You're right. We got off point. Stefan, how do I find the cure? Unless you'd rather talk about Damon and Elena all day.

Stefan:
There's a professor. He knows where the cure is.

Rebekah:
Thank you. And, uh, where do I find this professor?

Damon:
(to Klaus) If you're here for payback, go for it. But you'll be stuck baby-sitting the little hunter that could.

Elena:
Stefan knows about us.

Damon:
Ouu.How did he take it?

Elena:
How do you think?

Damon:
I'm thinking for the first time of all week I'm happy to be in camp of nowhere.

Elena:
How's Jeremy?

Damon:
That's been how much you trust me.

Elena:
You know that I trust you.

Damon:
I think he's gonna get trough this just fine.

Elena:
Thanks for looking out for him.

Damon:
Yeah I told them if they were good I'm gonna buy them ice cream.So.Look , I've got to go.

Elena:
Wait , not yet.Something happend today.I realised something about you.About us.And you can say it is the sired bond.You know what?Maybe.Maybe it is.But what I'm telling you is the most real thing I ever felt in my entire life.I love you , Damon.I love you.

Damon:
Look , I'm gonna get this cure for you.And I'm gonna have to do things you're not gonna like.

Elena:
Damon.

Damon:
Now listen cearfuly.Get in your car right now.Come to me.

Elena:
I'll be there soon.

Kol:
Care for a drink?

Damon:
He's underage, and I don't like you, so let's cut to it.

Kol:
What do you know of him [Silas]?

Damon:
Nothing. Don't want to. Not our problem.

Rebekah:
What happened to you? You were so much fun in the 20s.

Stefan:
I was a psychotic killer with no emotions in the 1920s.

Shane:
You're accusing me of orchestrating a mass murder. Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?

Sheriff Forbes:
It's Mystic Falls. It's actually the least ridiculous thing I've heard.

Rebekah:
Was it my bastard brother or yours?

Stefan:
Maybe it's option number 3. There's another team in the race.

Shane:
Your daughter... is a prodigy. With my guidance... she can be one of the most powerful witches in the world. But without it--whew-- she's a time bomb.

Rebekah:
(answering Stefan's phone) Hello, Elena.

Elena:
What did you do to Stefan?

Rebekah:
Rescued him from his old, dull life. But it keeps calling. Stefan's not in the mood to talk right now.

Elena:
Then he can listen. I know you might not care about me right now, Stefan, but Kol compelled Damon to kill Jeremy. They're somewhere in the tunnels, and I-- it's one giant maze down here, and I can't find them, so if you still care about the cure, or about Jeremy, then maybe you can come help. (silence) Ok.

Damon:
He shot me in the head. Stupid idiot... borderline brain dead moron!

Elena:
Stefan, what're you doing with Rebekah? She tried to kill me.

Stefan:
And this will be the second time that Damon tried to kill Jeremy. So I guess nobody's perfect, right?

Elena:
Are you trying to punish me? I don't know how many times I can apologize.

Stefan:
I never asked you to. You can do whatever you want, Elena. I really don't care.

Elena:
You're hurt. You're hurt and you're acting out. Stefan, this isn't you.

Stefan:
Sure it is. You've just never seen me like this. You don't know what I look like when I'm not in love with you.

Bonnie:
Why does it sound like you're under fire?

Elena:
Apparently I'm living in a fraternity house now.

Jeremy:
I'm training.

Matt:
Me too.

Elena:
Train yourself to do some dishes. And put these weapons away before someone tries to use one on me.

Kol:
(to Bonnie) No one can get to the cure if you're too dead to find it.

Damon:
You coming to snap my neck again? Because I woke up feeling completely unmurderous, and I'm pretty sure it's safe to set me free.

Damon:
(to Stefan) Silent treatment, huh? Is that your best shot? (to Klaus) He's still pissed at me for sleeping with Elena.

Klaus:
Are you sure about that? Because I caught him trying to sneak out of Rebekah's bed this morning, which would suggest to me that he's moved on.

Kol:
: Jeremy Gilbert, nice to know I'm still in your speed dial mate, hey you want to meet at the batting cages in Denver.

Elena:
Actually, it's Elena Gilbert.

Kol:
What a treat. You know, I was thinking of all the clever ways I could have your brother killed, but I think I'd settle for ripping off his illustrated arm instead.

Elena:
I need to talk to you- in person. I want to call a truce in the name of Silas.

Kol:
You want to talk about Silas?

Elena:
I'll meet you wherever you want. I'll come to you.

Kol:
I'll tell you what, how about I come to you?

(seconds later a doorbell rings, it's Kol. Elena, Jeremy and Matt in the house are shocked)

Kol:
You want a truce? Open the door and invite me in.

Kol:
I'm waiting. Let me in, and let's talk truce. Hello?

Elena:
Wouldn't it be kind of stupid to invite you in?

Kol:
On the contrary. I can't kill your brother with my own two hands, or I'll suffer the Hunter's Curse and spend the next 20 years trying to off myself in gruesome ways.

Elena:
(writes on a chalk board to Matt) Help Stefan, find dagger. (Matt quickly leaves through the back door)

Kol:
And I've heard the Vervain's back in town, so I can't compel you to kill him either. So I think it's fair to say you're semi-safe, for now.

Elena:
(on chalkboard to Jeremy) Get out. Get Bonnie.

Jeremy:
(whispers to Elena) I'm the only one that can invite him inside.

Kol:
(from outside) He's right, obviously.

(Elena opens the door, to Kol)

Kol:
You'd think by being alive for over 1,000 years would teach me some manners, but I couldn't resist stopping by.

Elena:
If I let you in, my brother goes. You're not getting near him.

Kol:
(looks at Elena and then at Jeremy) Fair enough.

(Elena looks at Jeremy at nods her head to let Kol inside)

Jeremy:
You can come in. ( Kol smiles, Jeremy leaves through the back door)

Kol:
No gold medal for bravery, I see. Another thing I love about the modern age is music anytime you like. So... this is the part where you offer me a drink so we can have a proper chat.

Rebekah:
The colors, the fabrics-- the eighties were just tragic. You know, I think shoulder pads rival 17th-century puritan smocks for crimes against fashion.

Klaus:
Ah, yes, for the love of Elena. How is it that she manages to overlook every horrific thing you've ever done? Is it willful ignorance or perhaps something more pathological?

Damon:
Some people are just more capable of forgiveness than others. Bet you score about a negative 500 in that realm.

Klaus:
Come on. There must be a secret. It can't just be the sire bond. What is it? Compulsion? Manipulation? What is it you say to her?

Damon:
I think this has something to do with a certain blond vampire. I think you murdered Carol Lockwood, and I think you're worried that Caroline's never going to forgive you.

Klaus:
You've done worse.

Damon:
Debatable. See, I don't mind being the bad guy, because somebody has to fill that role and get things done. You do bad things for no reason. You do them to be a dick.

Klaus:
Debatable.

Damon:
If you're going to be bad, be bad with purpose. Otherwise you're just not worth forgiving.

Stefan:
You got any requests for the DJ?

Rebekah:
I'll let you pick. Nothing cheesy.

Stefan:
Oh, that leaves out about half the decade.

Kol:
(to Elena at the front door) I've considered te request of your truce... Request denied. (Elena closes door) Oh, I'm sorry, I've already been invited in. (kicks the door open to find that Elena and Jeremy are not there) Hide and Seek? Fine by me.

Klaus:
Your brother's lack of communication is infuriating.

Damon:
It's one of his trademarks, like his brooding and his hair.

Klaus:
Well, if it isn't the happy homicidal maniac.

Kol:
Do you know that your darling former blood bag and her brother are trying to kill me.

Bonnie:
These symbols must have been left for the Hunters so they could find the cure. And this must be the story of Qetsiyah and Silas. According to Shane, Silas asked Qetsiyah for help making a spell for immortality. She helped make him immortal, only to learn he planned to use the same spell on another woman, not her. When she found out, she freaked.

Jeremy:
So, Qetsiyah kiled the other woman?

Bonnie:
Yeah. Silas was immortal. She couldn't kill him. So, she tapped him in a cave and buried him alive instead.

Jeremy:
Does it say anything about the Hunters purpose in all this?

Shane:
I was wondering when you'd ask. Qetsiyah created a cure for immortality and then she buried it with Silas, hoping that he'd take it and die. End up on the other side with her for all eternity. But he wouldn't give her the satisfaction. So, many centuries later, her descendants created the Hunters to find him, cure him, and kill him.

Tyler:
Morning, Sunshine. You look pathetic.

Klaus:
Only until Bonnie's spell locking me in here wears off. Then I'll look different. Angrier, perhaps. Or, I won't look like anything, 'cause I'll have gouged your eyeballs from their sockets.

Elena:
Is anyone else a little creeped out?

Rebekah:
So, then leave. Out of everyone, your presence is the least necessary.

Stefan:
Please don't start.

Rebekah:
I'm merely stating the facts. Jeremy has the spell on his body. Bonnie's the witch that unseals the cure. Shane is the human compass. You and I have the tombstone, which does God knows what. And Elena has no point.

Damon:
What about me?

Rebekah:
You have a nice behind.

Caroline:
You are not worth the calories I burn talking to you.

Rebekah:
Well, 7 of us and no one thought to bring s'mores.

Stefan:
You mean what you said? About a cease-fire?

Rebekah:
Why do you all assume that I hate Elena so much?

Stefan:
Well, I mean, you did run her off a bridge.

Rebekah:
You all seem to forget that Elena's death was the only way to save my family. I did the same thing that every one of you would've done to protect the people that you love. And before you cast me as the bad guy, maybe you should remember that Elena's helped to kill not one but two of my brothers. Maybe we're not as different as everyone's making us out to be.

Caroline:
If you don't feed me your blood, I'll die.

Klaus:
Then you'll die, and Tyler will have learned his lesson the hard way.

Caroline:
How could you do this to him? To his mom? To me?

Klaus:
I'm a thousand years old. Call it boredom.

Caroline:
I don't believe you.

Klaus:
Fine. Then maybe it's because I'm pure evil, and I can't help myself.

Caroline:
No. It's because you were hurt. Which means that there's a part of you that is human.

Klaus:
How could you possibly think that?

Caroline:
Because I've seen it. Because... I've caught myself wishing that I could forget all the horrible things that you've done.

Klaus:
But you can't. Can you?

Caroline:
I know that you're in love with me. And anyone capable of love is capable of being saved.

Klaus:
You're hallucinating.

Caroline:
I guess I'll never know. (Caroline struggles to breathe)

Klaus:
Caroline? (Klaus saves her)

Elena:
I didn't take it [the tombstone], but here. (Holds out the white oak dagger) Consider this a peace offering.

Rebekah:
Don't you get it, Elena? There is no peace. We're all screwed.

Elena:
Exactly, Rebekah. We're screwed. Bonnie's gone. Shane's got the tombstone. Jeremy's missing. Who knows if Damon is coming back. So, us three right here, this is all we've got. So, we're either in this together... or it's over. For all of us.

Shane:
Jeremy. (to Massak) Was a bit of a scare yesterday. Thanks for fending off his attacker.

Massak:
His attacker?

Shane:
Jeremy was attacked by an islander. I assumed you were his hatchet-flinging guardian angel.

Massak:
That wasn't me.

Shane:
Then I guess there's somebody else on this island who's desperate to keep our Hunter alive.

(Damon is groaning)

Galen:
Something bothering you?

Damon:
Would you believe me if I said mosquitos?

Galen:
Oh, aye, I would. How does it feel when a relentless eating machine is draining the blood from your veins?

Damon:
Itchy.

Galen:
Do your friends in Mystic Falls think you're funny, Damon?

Damon:
Come on, man. Do I look like I know anything about tattoos? Look at my skin. It's flawless.

Caroline:
It's called a cryptex. (Tyler and Klaus look at her shocked) I've seen "The Da Vinci Code". You turn the different sides to the different symbols to get the translation on the other side.

Jeremy:
All right. Where's this stupid magic passage she needs to open?

Shane:
Just look for anything that looks out of place, all right? Anything not occurring in nature, like a drawing or an inscription or... (looks down) geometrically perfect circle.

Shane:
Hey, guys, c-- I need a hand. My leg's broken.

Bonnie:
Best to stay off it, then. (She and Jeremy leave)

Rebekah:
You're alive?

Damon:
Yeah.

Rebekah:
Why didn't you go with them?

Damon:
I needed a siesta.

Rebekah:
You gave up, didn't you?

Damon:
I didn't give up. I just realized... you can't control everything... no matter how hard you try. Let's just say that I made peace with that fact.

Rebekah:
Peace? You love Elena. You always will. If she becomes human, she may not feel the same way about you. You'll never know peace.

Damon:
Life suck. Get a helmet.

Rebekah:
You did something selfless, Damon. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were becoming a halfway decent person.

Damon:
(tied to a rope as they walk through the woods) Mind telling me where we're going?

Vaughn:
At the wishing well lies an entrance to a crypt. In the crypt lies Silas. And with Silas lies the cure, which will allow me to kill Silas, bring the mission of the brotherhood of the Five to an end. You're my leverage, Damon. I use you to get your witch friend to open the passage to Silas' crypt for me.

Damon:
What a minute, you're using me to get to Bonnie Bennett? Whoa, brother, ha! You picked the wrong vampire.

Vaughn:
I guess we'll see about that.

Damon:
Here's the deal, Shrek. My witch friend will open the passage for you. No leverage necessary. We don't care about Silas. All we want is the cure, so you cut us in on your share, and we'll get out of your hair.

Tyler:
(on the porch, stressed about Klaus) Every time I think I have him, that son of a b*tch gets the upper hand.

Caroline:
We won't let him hurt you. Stefan and Elena will bring back the cure.

Tyler:
If they get to it first! And if they don't, Klaus kills me. I need to get out of town to figure out how I'm gonna stay alive.

Caroline:
Wait, hang on, okay? Gosh! Before you get all doomsday, just at least let me try and talk to him.

Tyler:
He's got nothing to lose, Care. His brother's dead, his hybrids are gone. All he wants right now is blood, starting with mine.

Caroline:
You can't kill Tyler.

Klaus:
Not only can I, I have to. I have a reputation to uphold. Moreover, I want to.

Caroline:
I'm not asking you to forgive him. All I'm asking is that you let him live, somewhere far from here.

Klaus:
So he gets to live a happy life after he turned all my hybrids against me, after he tried to kill me, after he made it his life's mission to find the cure so he could use it against me.

Caroline:
We all want the cure.

Klaus:
Do we?... Do you?

Caroline:
It doesn't matter. There's only one, so it's not like I'm gonna get it anyway.

Klaus:
But if you could, you won't would you? (she remains silent as her face give her away) You prefer who you are now to the girl you once were. You like being strong, ageless, fearless.

Damon:
Life sucks. Get a helmet.

Rebekah:
You did something selfless, Damon. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were becoming a halfway decent person.

Bonnie:
(about Silas) He's been frozen like a vampire statue for 2,000 years. There's only one way we're gonna get the statue to unfreeze.

Jeremy:
How's that?

Bonnie:
We have to feed him our blood… If we want to get the cure out of his hands, we... we have to wake him up.

Rebekah:
You don't want any of us to be human. Why would you help us find the cure?

Klaus:
Maybe I finally realized the longer I stand in the way of what you want, the longer you'll continue to hate me. Perhaps I want my sister to finally know happiness.

Damon:
Unless you're a blond, a Bennett witch, or a dopplegänger, I suggest you steer clear.

Elena:
You're not dosing me again, are you?

Matt:
Poison your best friend once, and the suspicion follows you forever.

Damon:
Here's the thing. I was completely willing to accept the fact that you were one man on a lonely mission to kill ol' Silas, and then I got boned by my vixen nemesis miss Katherine Pierce, and then I start thinking there's no way that this is a coincidence. So what do you know, huh? (to Rebekah) Took you long enough.

Rebekah:
Sorry. I had to dig the arrow out of my spine. Thank you for that.

Damon:
Well, if you want a lead on Katherine Pierce, here's your guy.

Vaughn:
Torture me all you want. You can't kill me. The Hunter's curse will torment you forever.

Damon:
It will be worth it.

Rebekah:
He's right. You can't kill him, but that doesn't mean we can't tear him apart piece by piece, nerve by nerve until the pain is so severe, that your brain shuts it off to give you one tiny moment of blessed relief, and then we'll heal you and do it again and again and again.

Damon:
You are creepy.

Rebekah:
Thank you.

Vaughn:
I was tracking dens of vampires across Colorado. Katherine found me, said she could help me find Silas. She already knew about the Hunter's mark, the cure.

Rebekah:
How?

Vaughn:
Oh, she has someone on the inside, some werewolf girl, friends with your professor.

Damon:
Hayley, Tyler Lockwood's old friend. Ah, I knew she was shady. Where'd Katherine find her.

Vaughn:
New Orleans. That's all I know.

Damon:
Ah. Good. Let's throw him in a well. If he starves to death, it's not our fault. I'm going to find Bonnie.

Rebekah:
We've got a lead on the cure, Damon. I'm going to find it, but I suppose you don't mind. You never wanted Elena to be human again, anyway.

Damon:
I wanted the cure for her because it's what she wanted. You might think I'm afraid to go back, but I'm not because I know what she needs. She needs me to bring her best friend home.

Damon:
(to Bonnie) I could actually hug you right now.

Vaughn:
How do you hide from the devil when you don't know what he looks like?

Damon:
Three massacres, three hot spots, and the witch spell of the century, and every supernatural being over there is back with a vengeance.

Klaus:
Ah, what an unpleasant surprise.

Damon:
So I just came up with a list called things you suck at. Number one: finding Katherine, ever. Number two: covering up your secret phone conversations to that little backstabbing Hayley. Yeah, so where is she, and what does she know about Katherine?

Klaus:
I should help you? After you lot killed my brother and imprisoned me in the Gilbert living room.

Damon:
You might want to prioritize Klaus, you have much bigger problems. Katherine has the cure. My guess is she's gonna want to cram it down your throat. You help me find Katherine., I'll get the cure, I'll give it to Elena, everybody wins.

Caroline:
Remember how Damon sired her to behave? Didn't really work.

Rebekah:
Impressive. You're like Sherlock Holmes with brain damage.

Damon:
I admit, under any other circumstance, this would be a major turn-on.

Elena:
I mean, I see you standing there, and don't get me wrong, you look good. I remember the sex we had, and it was good sex...just doesn't mean anything to me anymore.

Man:
You're that serial killer, aren't you? The Son of Sam.

Damon:
Son of Giuseppe, but close enough.

Stefan:
Wait. What do you mean you took her to New York?

Damon:
And that tone is the reason I didn't pick up the phone the first 20 times you called.

Stefan:
Where is she now?

Damon:
Out exploring. Maybe she's eating a hot dog or vendor.

(Caroline is drinking the left behind alcohol while cleaning up)

Klaus:
Desperate times I take it.

Caroline:
What are you doing here?

Klaus:
Not judging you for starters, although if you are determined to get drunk, then perhaps I might recommend something a little more sanitary. (Caroline drinks the alcohol she found) Well, then. You showed me.

Caroline:
Shouldn't you be out chasing Tyler to the ends of the earth, or are there still some hopes and dreams you want to crush around here? Or are there still some hopes and dreams you wanna crush around here?

Klaus:
Depends. Do you happen to know where the young Brutus is?

Caroline:
I know where he's not... with me. And he gave Matt the deed to the house, so he's gone for good.

Klaus:
(nodding as he walks closer) Tyler made it his life's mission to kill me. You can't hate me for driving him away.

Caroline:
Oh, I can and I do.

Stefan:
Look. Silas wants to die and be reunited with his one true love, but he's supernatural, so if he takes the cure and dies, he gets stuck on the other side.

Klaus:
How Shakespearian.

Stefan:
But if he destroys the other side altogether, he can take the cure, die, and pass on. But in destroying it, every dead supernatural being will return to our side.

Caroline:
That means every werewolf, every witch, every vampire. I wonder how many of those you personally killed. Care yet?

Elena:
You got Lexied?

Lexi:
You're not even covering your tracks. We heard about you back in Mystic Falls.

Damon:
So Stefan sent you. Hmm. I though we were on the off part of our endless on-again, off-again, eternity-of-misery cycle.

Rebekah:
Wow, she [Lexi] sounds dreadful.

Damon:
She had a Mother Teresa complex.

Elena:
So let me guess. After many dark nights with Lexi, she convinced you to turn your emotions back on, and that's exactly what you plan to do with me. Hmm.

Damon:
You read the last page of a book first, too?

Stefan:
How's the cure search going?

Damon:
Ah. Not great. I mean, it's no massacre in the making, but Rebekah trailed us here. Then in addition to my buddy being a brilliant identity thief, he's also a hoarder.

Stefan:
What are you trying to find?

Damon:
Will had a repeat customer, 5'7" brunette. Said she was a runner.

Stefan:
Katherine.

Damon:
Turns out I was helping her run from me. Ironic. Problem is I'm pretty sure that this filing system goes by birthdate, but I can't for the life of me remember Katherine's.

Stefan:
June 5, 1473.

Damon:
And that, brother, is why you are the better boyfriend.

Caroline:
Do you even know how to read a map?

Klaus:
Yes, and do you know who taught me? My friend Magellan.

Caroline:
Wow! You had a friend. Was he drawn to your darkness, too?

Klaus:
Actually, I was referring to Damon and Elena when I said that, but clearly it struck a chord with you.

Caroline:
It's because it's not true! There is no allure to darkness.

Klaus:
(earnestly) Really? So you've never felt the attraction that comes when someone who's capable of doing terrible things for some reason cares only about you?

Caroline:
I did once, when I thought he was worth it, but it turns out some people can't be fixed.

Stefan:
Damon, what did you do?

Damon:
Lets just say it involves a 5'7" brunette and her blonde accomplice.

Stefan:
Please don't tell me this is going where I think it is.

Damon:
Wrong fantasy, brother. Unless you're into betrayal and snapped necks.

Lexi:
That explains it. Your switch is flipped.

Damon:
Ugh. Would you mind? I can't even hear my prey over your constant babbling.

Elena:
So let me guess. After many dark nights with Lexi, she convinced you to turn your emotions back on, and that's exactly what you plan to do with me. Hmm.

Damon:
You read the last page of the book first, too? I'm gonna go get a drink. Many drinks. (goes to the bar)

Rebekah:
So you really buy all this?

Elena:
Not one bit. I know he's after the cure. I'm not stupid.

Rebekah:
Well, let's not say things we don't mean.

Caroline:
(as they search Shane's office) What are we even looking for?

Stefan:
Well, if Shane really was working with Silas, chances are he was helping him plan his next move.

Caroline:
Where, on his evil villain to-do list? 'Steal blood, perform 3 massacres, pick up dry cleaning'?

Klaus:
Actually, not to nit-pick, but we evil villains usually use minions to pick up our dry cleaning, that sort of thing.

Caroline:
(to Stefan about Klaus) Why is he necessary again?

Stefan:
Well, we don't know what Silas can do, so if we do have to go head to head with him, an Original hybrid who can't die might come in handy.

Klaus:
Besides, Stefan and I work well together, or at least we did in the twenties.

Elena:
You dragged me all the way to New York because you were feeling nostalgic?

Damon:
No, I dragged you to New York because in a matter of three days, you managed to piss off everyone in Mystic Falls. A little more difficult to do in a city of millions.

Elena:
(shrugging) I was hungry.

Damon:
You were reckless.

Elena:
Emotionless. There's a difference.

Damon:
Look, all that matters is that when I lived here, I fed like crazy and had a blast and went undetected for years.

Lexi:
That explains it. Your switch is flipped.

Damon:
(walking into the alley) Ugh. Would you mind? I can't even hear my prey over your constant babbling.

Lexi:
You're not even covering your tracks. We heard about you back in Mystic Falls.

Damon:
So Stefan sent you? Hmm. I thought we were on the 'off' part of our endless on-again, off-again, eternity-of-misery cycle.

Lexi:
Lucky for you he cared just enough to send me. So, why'd you flip it? What traumatic event was too much for Damon Salvatore to handle?

Damon:
Ooh, silver lining. If Rebekah takes the cure, then she's mortal. And then we can just kill her right then and there.

Stefan:
Ooh, dark cloud. Elena stays a vampire forever.

Caroline:
(walking in)I got your fifty bajillion messages. This better be life and death.

Klaus:
(gruffly) Go away!

Caroline:
Klaus? Where are you? (as she looks around and sees him) What happened to you?

Klaus:
(thinking she's still Silas) I need more time. Stop hounding me!

Caroline:
I'm hounding you? I'm supposed to be running 3 different prom committees right now and you keep phone stalking me.

Klaus:
Caroline. Is it really you? (as she looks surprised) Prove it to me!

Caroline:
Okay, I don't know if this is some new way of flirting, but it sucks, and I have more important things to do. (tries to leave)

Klaus:
Wait, please. Silas... he stabbed me with the white oak stake. There's a- a piece of it stuck inside me.

Caroline:
Why would Silas attack you?

Klaus:
Well, I was in no position to ask questions. Suffice it to say, I'm hurt. So you can understand why I called you.

Caroline:
You ran Tyler out of town, you killed his mother, and you think I'm the person to call for help?

Klaus':
If I die, you, Tyler, all of your friends die with me.

Caroline:
Oh my god. You do have a heart. (she moves the pliers deeper as Klaus howls in pain) Oh, my bad. It's just a bloody rib.

Klaus:
Well I'm glad you're finding my misery so amusing.

Caroline:
Ugh, I swear there's nothing in here. And if you think I'm having fun, you're insane.

Klaus:
You killed 12 witches for your friend Bonnie. You can't even get your hands a little dirty for me. Here I thought we were becoming friends.

Stefan:
So what happened to the guy who thought Elena should embrace being a vampire, let the chips fall where they may?

Damon:
That guy got his neck snapped in New York and this guy is royally pissed off.

Elena:
What do you think?

Rebekah:
Hm. It's close. Not quite slutty enough - I think you need more eyeliner.

Elijah:
Where's Katherine, Elena?

Klaus:
You killed 12 witches for your friend Bonnie. You can't even get your hands a little dirty for me. Here I thought we were becoming friends.

Caroline:
Well, you thought wrong.

Caroline:
(to Klaus) We've all tried to kill you. And you've tried to kill most of us. How do you think that you deserve my friendship when you've done nothing to earn it?

Elena:
You know I don't want the cure. You need to know that I never will and I'm done talking about it. So... will you accept that and let me be who I am, or not?

Damon:
Believe me, I learned my lesson. Elena without humanity is a stone-cold bitch, and I won't trust her until we get the old Elena back.

Elena:
Where's the cure?

Katherine:
What? No I'm here to avenge my annoying little brother speech?

Elena:
People die. We move on.

Caroline:
(enters the room as she wipes her hand with a towel) I used all your bleach.

Klaus:
Hey. Thank you for helping me.

Caroline:
Yeah… Well, if you need anything else... don't call me. I have a prom to plan.

Klaus:
(smiling) Friends, then?

Caroline:
Are you gonna let Tyler come back into town?... (turns when he says nothing)

Klaus:
You might have noticed... I'm not exactly scouring the earth for him, am I?

Rebekah:
You ans Katherine? And I thought you were the smart brother.

Elijah:
(indignant) You don't have a smart brother. It turns out I'm just as stupid as the rest of you.

Rebekah:
Why don't you just give me the cure so I can judge you silently elsewhere?

Elijah:
And what could you possibly want with the cure?

Rebekah:
I want to be human again.

Elijah:
How do you know that being human is the answer you're looking for? I mean, it's nothing but a romantic notion. The grass won't necessarily be greener, Rebekah.

Rebekah:
You're probably right. But I don't care. I want to live a simple life as a normal person. And when it ends, it ends. We've had 20 lifetimes together, Elijah. Isn't that enough?

Elijah:
I just don't understand. I mean, why must you always consider our family a burden? Always and forever. I mean, those words are as important to me today as they, as they ever were.

Rebekah:
You will always be my brother. And I will never stop loving you. But now it's time for me to live and die the way that I choose, not the way you and Nik want me to.

Caroline:
Elena stole my prom dress. I went to pick it up, and the tailor said that somebody else already did. And when I asked who, she said she couldn't remember. Hello? The vervain is out of the town water supply. She was compelled. (Klaus laughs). It is not funny.

Klaus:
I know. I know.

Caroline:
Then stop laughing. Look, I know that prom isn't important to you, but it's important to me.

Klaus:
Well surely finding another dress is well within your substantial vampire capabilities.

Caroline:
But I don't want just another dress. I want to look hot, like Princess Grace of Monaco hot. So, could you please go back into your creepy trophy case of family collectables and dig me out something of royal caliber?

Matt:
Why do I feel like we're at a practice run of Caroline's wedding?

Bonnie:
Because I think we are.

Damon:
You are under age.

Elena:
You are over age, and honestly, it's kinda creepy.

Damon:
Oh, come on. What bad-ass senior is complete without a prom date that's slightly too old for high school?

Elena:
Please don't refer to yourself as my date.

Damon:
Oh, I'm sorry. Your boyfriend. Something I said?

Elena:
I'm not doing this.

Damon:
You're not gonna deny that I'm your boyfriend now, are you?

Elena:
What are you doing? Trying to stir some feelings in me? Ironic, since you, my sire, are the one who had me turn them off.

Damon:
Yeah, well, hindsight is almost a bigger bitch than you.

Elena:
You're nothing to me, Damon.

Damon:
Really? Then why tell me you're in love with me? Why tell me it's the most real thing you've ever felt in your life?

Elena:
I told you I loved you because I was sired to you, and now that I'm not, I know that none of it was real, but if you still think that it was, I mean, maybe you're the one who needs help with your emotions, not me.

Elena:
Let go of me or I will bite you.

Stefan:
Oh, come on. I'm the one who hates to dance, remember?

Elena:
Yeah, and now I finally see why.

Stefan:
So you're just here to help Rebekah get the cure, right, on what happens to be the most sentimental night in high school.

Elena:
You think this is my cry for help? I'd be happy to show you what a real cry for help sounds like.

Stefan:
Hmm. So this... Us... You feel nothing?

Elena:
I feel nothing.

Stefan:
I don't believe you.

Elena:
I don't care.

Stefan:
So you don't remember what it use to feel like when we would dance? When my hand would touch your waist?

Elena:
Nope.

Stefan:
How about this... When our fingers would touch?

Elena:
Nothing.

Stefan:
And this? (Dips Elena) Does your heart really refuse to remember?

Elena:
(whispers) What heart?

Caroline:
I know you said to kill her with kindness, but can't I just kill her?

Stefan:
I see you found a dress.

Caroline:
It's from Klaus.

Stefan:
Hmm.

Caroline:
Don't ask.

Stefan:
You know you have him wrapped around your little finger, right?

Caroline:
If I had Klaus wrapped around my finger, then I would be here with Tyler right now. Are you making any progress with the dress thief?

Stefan:
I don't know. I think it's affecting me a whole lot more than its affecting her.

Caroline:
What do you mean?

Stefan:
Every time I tell myself that I'm moving on, there's this part of me that just can't seem to shake her.

Caroline:
That's normal, Stefan. You guys were in love. That doesn't go away just because you declare that you're moving on.

Stefan:
Then how does anyone ever seem to move on?

Caroline:
I don't know. I think that someday, you'll meet someone new and you'll fall madly in love. And you'll have moved on without even realizing it.

Rebekah:
What am I missing?

Elena:
Silas is appearing to Bonnie as my dead brother, which means he still wants her to do the spell.

Rebekah:
So? The nice thing about having no feelings is you don't fear your enemies on the other side.

Elena:
I'm not worried about my enemies. It's people like Alaric... and Jeremy. The Salvatore brothers are annoying enough as it is, can you imagine if my brother came back to the living? He'd spend every waking hour trying to get my humanity back.

Stefan:
You looking for Silas or you waxing nostalgic about misspent youth?

Damon:
What happened to you being over it?

Stefan:
What do you mean?

Damon:
Well, I mean, for a guy who's ready to move on, you seemed pretty convincing as a boyfriend out on the dance floor.

Stefan:
I mean, isn't that what we're doing, reminding Elena of what she's lost?

Damon:
Like her feelings for you?

Stefan:
Yeah. Yeah, maybe.

Damon:
Hmm.

Stefan:
I mean... I don't mean to be a dick, Damon, but Elena and I have a history. Memories, laughs, ups and downs. It was a real relationship. I mean, what you have is just a one-night stand that was probably the result of the sire-bond. (Damon moves toward Stefan and gets staked) Your mind is a very dark and riveting place, Damon.

Damon:
Uh, Silas. Where's my brother, you psychic freak?

Silas:
He's in the woods, where I convinced him I was you. He's probably in a bit of pain now, too. The witch is mine. Stay away from her.

Damon:
She may not feel much, but shes gonna feel that in the morning.

Stefan:
So what's the plan?

Damon:
When Bonnie was whaling on her tonight, I could see it in her eyes. Elena thought she was gonna die. She was scared.

Stefan:
Fear.

Damon:
Last time I checked, one of those pesky human emotions.

Stefan:
So plan "c"... make her life a living hell.

Damon:
You care to talk about our other problem? You know, the one that can be anywhere, at any time.

Stefan:
Silas still needs Bonnie. And if tonight is any indication, she's no pushover. She's not gonna let him manipulate her, not anymore.

Damon:
I wouldn't underestimate his talents. He fooled the hell out of both of us. What did he say to you anyway?

Stefan:
He led me out in the woods, claiming he saw Silas, then he staked me.

Damon:
Hmm.

Stefan:
How did he get to you?

Damon:
Talked about his hair. I figured it had to be you.

Stefan:
Funny.

Katherine:
(voice over) Klaus, I hear Elijah has refused you the cure and in return, you have refused me my freedom. Shame on you both. But while you boys sort out your problems, I have one last thing to offer you. I've caught wind that there is a witch in New Orleans named Jane-Anne Deveraux plotting a move against you. Hunt her down. What she has to say will rattle you so deeply to your core that chasing little old me will be the least of your concerns. It's been a fun five centuries, Klaus, but I've worn down too many good heels running from you. Love and hate, Katerina.

Damon:
That's the calmest desiccating vampire I've ever seen. I remember when you starved me down there for three days. I would have wept at your feet for an orange peel.

Stefan:
Look, she's not gonna beg for blood. Begging means desperation. Emotion. She's still a no-humanity zone.

Damon:
How hungry does she have to be before we can torture some feelings back into her?

Stefan:
A lot hungrier than she is now, apparently.

Damon:
So, what are we supposed to do in the mean time?

Katherine:
Maybe I can provide a little excitement.

Stefan:
(surprised) Katherine.

Katherine:
The one and only. Sort of.

Man:
Welcome to the dark side of New Orleans, a supernatural playground where the living are easily lost and the dead stick around to play.

Rebekah:
Well, the French Quarter witches are not a lot to be trifled with. You don't suppose they've found a way to kill him once and for all, do you?

Elijah:
Rebekah, in the name of our family, you might try to dial down your glee.

Rebekah:
What family? We are three distrustful acquaintances who happen to share a bloodline.

Rebekah:
Where are you going?

Elijah:
To find out who's making a move against our brother, and then... I'll either stop them, or I'll help them. Depending on my mood.

Sophie:
You may have built this town, but it's his town now.

Klaus:
Where's Marcel?

Diego:
Who the hell's asking?

Klaus:
I assume you're joking.

Diego:
I only answer to Marcel.

Klaus:
Well, then, in that case, perhaps you'll answer to this. You're aware the bite of a werewolf can kill a vampire? Well, as you can see, I'm half-werewolf, so I'm gonna ask you one more time! Where is Marcel?

Marcel:
H-hey. I'm right here. I'm right here. Easy, now. Diego's just looking out for me. Nobody harms my guys. Those are the rules.

Klaus:
I don't care about your rules, Marcel. And I don't need chaperones. Why are you having me followed?

Marcel:
I get it, huh? Show of force. You made your point. Let it go, friend. For me.

Klaus:
Fine. Why don't you show me what you've done with the place while you explain exactly what it is you've been up to in my town.

Klaus:
Evening, Elijah.

Elijah:
Niklaus.

Klaus:
What an entirely unwelcome surprise.

Elijah:
And what an entirely unsurprising welcome.

Klaus:
I assure you, love, that there is not a thing in the world that will matter enough for me to waste even thirty more seconds of my time. Elijah, what madness is this?

Hayley:
Klaus... You need to listen to them.

Klaus:
You're all out of your minds if you think some liquor fueled one-night stand--no offense, sweetheart-- means a thing to me.

Sophie:
Marcel may be able to keep us from practicing real magic in this town, but as keepers of the balance, we still know when nature has cooked up something new. For example, I have a special gift, of sensing when a girl is pregnant.

Klaus:
What?

Hayley:
I know. It's impossible.

Klaus:
What are you saying?

Elijah:
Niklaus... the girl is carrying your child.

Klaus:
No. It's impossible. Vampires cannot procreate.

Sophie:
But werewolves can. Magic made you a vampire, but you were born a werewolf. You're the original hybrid. The first of your kind, and this pregnancy is one of nature's loopholes.

Klaus:
Your town?

Marcel:
Damn straight.

Klaus:
That's funny. Because when I left 100 years ago, you were just a pathetic little scrapper still trembling from the lashes of the whips of those who would keep you down, and now look at you. Master of your domain. Prince of the city. I'd like to know how.

Marcel:
Why? Jealous? Hey, man, I get it. 300 years ago, you helped build a backwater penal colony into something. You started it, but then you left. Actually, you ran from it. I saw it through. Look around. Vampires rule the city now. We don't have to live in the shadows like rats. The locals know their place. They look the other way. I got rid of the werewolves. I even found a way to shut down the witches. The blood never stops flowing and the party never ends. You want to pass on through? You want to stay a while? Great. What's mine is yours, but it is mine. My home, my family, my rules.

Klaus:
And if someone breaks those rules?

Marcel:
They die. Mercy is for the weak. You taught me that, too. And I'm not the Prince of the Quarter, friend. I'm the king! Show me some respect.

Klaus:
(bites a vampire) Your friend will be dead by the weekend. Which means I've broken one of your rules. And yet I cannot be killed. I am immortal. Who has the power now, friend?

Camille:
The hundred dollar guy.

Klaus:
The brave bartender. (looking at her name-pin) Camille. That's a French name.

Camille:
It's a grandma's name. Call me Cami. (referring to the street artist) Amazing isn't he?

Klaus:
Do you paint?

Camille:
No, but I admire. Every artist has a story, you know.

Klaus:
And what do you suppose his story is?

Camille:
He's...angry. Dark. Doesn't feel safe and doesn't know what to do about it. He wishes he could control his demons instead of having his demons control him. He's lost. Alone... (jokingly) Or... maybe he just drank too much tonight. Sorry, overzealous psyche major.

Klaus:
No. I think you were probably right the first time.

Klaus:
I forgot how much I liked this town.

Elijah:
I didn't forget. All the centuries we've spent together, and yet I can count on one hand the number of times that our family has been truly happy. I hated leaving here.

Klaus:
As did I.

Elijah:
What is on your mind, brother?

Klaus:
For a thousand years, I lived in fear. Any time I settled anywhere, our father would hunt me down and... chase me off. He made me feel powerless, and I hated it. This town was my home once, and in my absence, Marcel has gotten everything that I ever wanted. Power, loyalty, family. I made him in my image and he has bettered me. I want what he has. I want to be king.

Elijah:
And what about Hayley and the baby?

Klaus:
Every king needs an heir.

Damon:
You look terrible.

Elena:
I'm hungry. Not that you care.

Damon:
But I do. That's the whole point. I do care. You don't care. It's about time for that to change. (gives Elena a blood bag)

Elena:
(gags) Vervain?

Damon:
How does that make you feel? Hurt because I'd betray you? Angry because I'd cause you pain? Or scared? Because you know it's gonna get a lot worse?

Elena:
You boys want to play games? Go ahead. Let's see who breaks first. Me, or you?

Klaus:
(on his cellphone) Caroline. I'm standing in one of my favorite places in the world, surrounded by food, music, art, culture, and all I can think about is how much I want to show it to you. Maybe one day you'll let me.

Damon:
Relax. I just want to show you all the things you've been missing out on since you took the giant leap over the cuckoo's nest.

Caroline:
I am not going to give up on you.

Elena:
This annoying, clingy thing that you're doing, did it ever occur to you maybe that's why both of your boyfriends skipped town? I mean, I know that Tyler said he was running for his life. Maybe he was running from you. And Klaus... I mean, let's just say it: nobody likes a tease. Hey, I'm not judging. Might be nice to have a bad boy ruffle those perfect feathers.

Caroline:
You're in pain you're lashing out. I get it, but you can't stay this way forever. We're about to graduate and start new lives, and you deserve--

Elena:
Are you seriously talking about high school graduation? Caroline, do you realize how pathetic you're gonna look in that cap and gown pretending to be human while your mom fake-smiles and just counts down the minutes until you leave town so that you can stop being a reminder their daughter is a repulsive, blood-sucking, control freak monster? It's really too bad Stefan stopped me before I put you out of your misery, but, hey, here's to second chances.

Rebekah:
Are they still keeping Elena trapped in the Salvatore mansion? I happen to like her just the way she is. It's tragic that they're trying so desperately to fix something that isn't broken.

Katherine:
Lying, scheming and a secret rendezvous with moi, not very Bonnie Bennett-y, especially when Elena needs her favorite witch.

Damon:
Oh, you know the rules, bad girls don't get nice jewelry.

Elena:
You took my ring. I'm devastated. And bored. Can I go back to solitary now?

Elena:
I said, I'm going to kill you!

Damon:
Bingo! See? There's a little rage. I should have figured out that'd be the first emotion that came out of you. I tend to pull that out of people.

Stefan:
Elena, look at me. We don't want to do this, okay? You can stop this right now. It's your choice.

Elena:
Kind of funny, actually, you being the one to pull back the curtain. I bet part of you enjoys it since, you know, I dumped you and all.

Damon:
Wow. That was downright vindictive. See? I think now we're breaking through that tough candy shell and getting into the ooey-gooey rich center of your humanity. This is good. I think we should shine some light on the subject.

Elena:
Let me guess... this is gonna hurt you a lot more than it hurts me.

Stefan:
Look, I know what you're going through. After all you've done, you're afraid to face the guilt you'll feel if you turn your emotions back on. The only way we can help you is to make the alternative hurt even worse.

Elena:
I am the girl that you love. You wouldn't do anything to actually hurt me. You just proved that. So what do I really have to be afraid of?

Stefan:
So that went well.

Damon:
Every other vampire turns it on, no problem. You kill. You feed. You do all the awful things that a vampire does. And then when you're done, you turn it back on. Why is she being so stubborn?

Stefan:
Because she has nothing to come back to. Her home's gone. Her family's gone. She alienated her friends. She destroyed her relationships.

Damon:
No. She wants to come back. Scaring the hell out of her should have worked. She's smart. She know we're not gonna hurt her.

Stefan:
All right. So we get somebody else, somebody who would really hurt her.

Damon:
Who? Katherine?

Stefan:
Think about it. She's the reason Jeremy's dead, right? So if anybody's gonna provoke an emotion, it's her.

Damon:
So we call her and then what? Beg her to help us out of the kindness of her own heart. You kidding me?

Stefan:
Katherine was just abandoned by Elijah. She has nothing. She has no one. We invite her into our house to come torture Elena. There's no way she's gonna turn that down.

Damon:
Seriously. You can't knock?

Katherine:
Sorry. I didn't realize we were standing on formalities.

Rebekah:
What the hell are you doing here?

Katherine:
You didn't get the memo? I'm here to talk some sense into poor emotionless Elena.

Matt:
Are you out of your mind?

Damon:
You got a better idea, Prom King? Unless you want me to lock you up in there with her, I suggest you shut up and let the adults handle this.

Rebekah:
Well, it looks like the lunatics have taken over the asylum.

Elena:
What the hell are you doing here?

Katherine:
Your boyfriends invited me. They want to know if you still have a heart. There it is. Your bodyguards won't let me kill you, but I can rip your throat out. So I don't have to listen to you whine. But first, satisfy my curiosity,what did you tell Elijah back in Willoughby?

Elena:
That's why you're here? He dumped you, didn't he? Now you're just looking for a scapegoat.

Katherine:
Tell me what you said to turn him against me or I will feed you your own eyeballs.

Elena:
I didn't have to say anything. Look at you. A self-obsesses egomaniac on the run for 5 centuries. What good would you be to anyone? You're the definition of damaged goods. No wonder Elijah left you.

Katherine:
Yeah, I've done some pretty horrible things to survive, but unlike you, poor, delicate Elena, I don't turn it off. I deal with it. You wouldn't last a week as a vampire without everyone fawning over you. By I'd love to see you try.

Damon:
Enough. You are acting like a little spoiled brat. You know that? You think that we can't punish you. Maybe not. But I can sure punish him.

Matt:
(weakly) Elena.

Elena:
Seriously you think that this is...

Damon:
Shut up. I'm done playing nice. Turn your emotions back on right now, Elena, or so help me, God, I will give you something to be sad about. I will kill him right here in front of you.

Stefan:
Damon.

Damon:
Don't "Damon" me. If she doesn't love anyone, fine. Prove it. And if I'm wrong, what difference does it make? One less bus boy.

Matt:
Elena...

Elena:
Your bluffing.

Damon:
(snaps Matt's neck) How about now. Feel anything now? You angry I just turned your buddy into road kill? Or are you sad that the guy that everybody loves is just a bag of bones? Remember when he was a little kid, huh? Warm heart, big, goofy smile, his whole life ahead of him. I guess it was a good idea that he wearing this. (on Matt's hand is a Gilbert ring)

Elena:
Oh, God, Matt.

Damon:
You feel that weight lifting off your chest? That's joy. Because your friend isn't dead. That's emotion, Elena. That's humanity.

Damon:
You ok?

Elena:
No. I'm not ok. But I will get better.

Katherine:
I'm perfectly aware that tombstone isn't just a hunk of rock.

Bonnie:
No kidding.

Katherine:
And it got me thinking, all big spells require a source of power, a recurring element like a full moon, a comet. But that tombstone is filled with the blood of your ancient reflective Katsooyay or whatever.

Bonnie:
Qetsiyah.

Katherine:
She was powerful enough to create the other side. So maybe, if you have her blood, you don't need a full moon to drop the veil. Maybe you can do it whenever you want. The thing I can't figure out is why do you want to drop the veil at all?

Bonnie:
I have my reasons.

Katherine:
And again, I ask, what's in it for me?

Bonnie:
You'll get the one thing you want most in this world-- freedom, survival. Never having to run from anyone again. Once I've dropped the veil, I can speak to Qetsiyah. She created the spell that made Silas truly immortal, invulnerable to any weapon. You'd like that for yourself, wouldn't you? I can give it to you.

Katherine:
Bonnie Bennett, we have a deal.

Sherif:
You think it's Silas?

Damon:
Or a doctor with some very questionable bedside manner.

Elena:
"Brother and friend." What genius came up with that one? I give up, Jer. I really want to kill her for you, but... there's no point. Stefan's right. It's just a distraction. And... I can't. I can't do this. I can't-- I can't move on. And I don't want to. If that makes me weak, then fine, I'm weak. But I can't handle you... you being gone... and I can't handle feeling like this anymore.

Kol:
Hello, old friend. Pity about your brother. Guess it's just me against you now.

Jeremy:
(to Kol) How many times do I have to kill you?

Rebekah:
(holding a graduation announcement) So, let me get this straight: you send out a notice of your impending graduation and people feel obliged to give you money?

Matt:
Pretty much.

Rebekah:
That sounds brilliant. Why aren't you participating?

Matt:
I don't have a whole lot of family.

Rebekah:
That makes two of us. Besides, I don't think it was my mother's dream to see me in a cap and gown. How about your mum?

Matt:
Let's just say I'm not holding my breath for a graduation check.

Rebekah:
So, what's the deal? I'm new to this whole emotional switch situation.

Elena:
(while playing darts) It's not complicated. See that dart board? All I can picture is Katherine's face.

Rebekah:
So your emotions are on, they're just dialed to rage.

Elena:
Look, Rebekah. I get that we had our Thelma and Louise thing back when I had my humanity off, but let me make one thing clear: we're not friends.

Bonnie:
Okay, this is the center of the triangle. I'm ready. Now, give me the tombstone.

Katherine:
The fact that this spell hinges on some crappy hunk of blood-rock does little to inspire my confidence.

Bonnie:
It's filled with the calcified blood of Qetsiyah, one of the strongest witches in the world. It'll work.

Damon:
If I can see you... (he pats Alaric's arms and face) ...and I can touch you, that means the little witch did it. She dropped the veil.

Alaric:
Well, not completely. It's only down inside the Expression triangle. If I step outside of it, it's back to ghost world.

Damon:
Well, where is everybody? I figured with the veil down, it'd be like Ghost-a-palooza.

Alaric:
Well, not every ghost has a reason to come back to Mystic Falls. Just the ones like me, looking after their idiot best friends.

Damon:
I'm more worried about the ones looking out for their enemies.

Matt:
(eyeing Kol) I'm assuming this means Bonnie dropped the veil.

Kol:
Not completely, and not for long. But who am I to give up an opportunity for revenge? My killer's already dead, but his sister's just as culpable, so maybe you could help me find her.

Matt:
If you hurt Elena, I swear...

Kol:
(breaks a bottle against the bar) Oh, I'm going to. But please, continue. I'm curious as to where you're going with this.

Rebekah:
You made your point, Kol. Now leave!

Kol:
First tell me where I can find Elena.

Rebekah:
She left here hours ago, we don't know where she is. Now get out!

Rebekah:
Caroline, hey, snap out of it.

Caroline:
(completely tranced) I need to bleed. Silas wants me to bleed.

Rebekah:
Stop it, you're hallucinating!

Caroline:
(tries to grab broken glass) Just let me do this. I need to do this!

Rebekah:
(holding her back) You're going to cut your hands off!

Stefan:
You've been back, what, 5 minutes and you're already laughing at me?

Lexi:
No, I've been laughing at you for a while, you just haven't been able to see me.

Stefan:
Do you have any idea how much I've missed you?

Lexi:
Trust me, I do. Although I see I've been replaced by another blonde?

Matt:
In case Caroline didn't thank you for pulling her out of that hallucination earlier... thanks.

Rebekah:
I'm just glad I got the chance to knock her upside the face.

Bonnie:
You need to get rid of Silas' body.

Damon:
Well, there's a slight problem, Medusa. Even though you turned him into stone, if he gets one more drop of blood he's back to his old mind tricks.

Bonnie:
All right, so let's do what we should've done to Klaus. Let's drop his body in the middle of the ocean.

Stefan:
The truth is, there are no shortcuts. You are a vampire, Elena. Loss is part of the deal. Look, I've been alive for 163 years. I have lost more loved ones than I can count, and it hurts me every single time.

Elena:
So there's no hope? You're saying I'm hopeless?

Stefan:
No, I'm saying you have to face your grief. But you don't have to do it alone... I can help you.

Elena:
Oh, of course you can. God, Stefan! Always trying to help, and you're concerned for me, it's just like...

Stefan:
You're transferring your rage onto me, that's good.

Rebekah:
Why won't you ever let me help you?

Matt:
It's not you, I just... Look, people in this town have a bad habit of turning into vampires, and I'd like to graduate high school as a human.

Kol:
Welcome back. It was our deaths that allowed this day to come to pass, massacres in the name of resurrecting the immortal Silas. 12 hybrids, 12 witches, the slaughter of innocents by the so-called hero protectors of Mystic Falls. They risked unleashing hell on earth for their own selfish gains, and today... that's exactly what they're going to get.

Stefan:
Damon, help me celebrate my 17th high school graduation. Hey! You remember my friend Lexi, of course.

Damon:
Lexi back from the dead. Goodie.

Lexi:
What's up, buzz kill?

Damon:
Stefan, you just gonna sit there and let her enact her ghostly revenge?

Stefan:
You reap what you sow, buddy.

Lexi:
Let's be very clear. Whatever time I have left here I sure as hell don't plan on wasting on you. Got me?

Damon:
Yeah. Got you. So if you and Ric and little Gilbert are all flesh-like and real-seeming, that means something went horribly wrong when Bonnie tried to put the veil up, and here you two are having "Dance Party USA".

Stefan:
You're right. How selfish of me to be indulging in these precious moments with my formerly dead best friend. I should be sacrificing my own happiness for the good of others, right? I should be upstairs grooming my hero hair.

Damon:
Are you drunk?

Stefan:
I don't know, mom, am I?

[Lexi laughs]

Damon:
Well I guess that's one way to celebrate our supernatural apocalypse. Now care to hazard any guesses in what the hell went wrong?

Bonnie:
I hit kind of a snag.

Caroline:
A snag? A snag is a bad yearbook picture. You hit a tsunami. Where are you?

Bonnie:
Trying to fix it. I'm running into some trouble. I need to wait until the full moon tonight to have enough power to put the veil back up.

Caroline:
Are you telling me that we might graduate right smack in the middle of a ghost-filled expression triangle?

Bonnie:
Maybe we should just cancel.

Caroline:
No! We are not going to cancel. Graduation is the most important event of our lives, the last ceremony of our youth. It is our rite of freaking passage! Hell will freeze over before I let anyone cancel graduation.

Bonnie:
Can you not make jokes about hell freezing over? We're not that far off from that already.

Alaric:
So you get off on terrorizing innocent people?

Connor:
And who might you be?

Alaric:
I'm the guy responsible for the 18-year-old you just threatened.

Connor:
Well, that 18-year-old snapped my neck with her bare hands.

Alaric:
I'm also the guy who showed her how to do that.

Connor:
Heh heh. That's ironic. You must not know a damn thing about fighting if you're trying to intimidate a dead guy packing C-4.

Alaric:
This is my bar, pal. Nobody's gonna blow it up.

Rebekah:
It's just been settled. I'm gonna show you life as you've only dreamt it. We'll start in Italy. There's a lovely little church outside San Vittore in Brienno...

Alexander:
Romantic spot, popular for weddings.

Rebekah:
And then I'll show you the Northern Lights in the springtime, the Simatai gorge from atop the Great Wall of China, every inch of the Louvre...

Matt:
China, Paris, Northern Lights. It's a date.

Katherine:
I don't think red's really your color, Bon-Bon.

Bonnie:
And here I was hoping the ghost of anyone would have killed you already.

Katherine:
Funny you should mention death because I'm here to collect that immortality you've promised me.

Bonnie:
Funny you think you're still going to get it. I told you, Qetsiyah's the only witch who knows the immortality spell. If she was a no-show, you're out of luck.

Katherine:
See? Here's the thing, Bonnie. I can't disagree with you because I have been feeling out of luck lately, but you know who has been getting all of my luck? My beloved doppelganger, Elena. My shadow self is living a better life than I am, so if I don't get that immortality, I may just have to get rid of her altogether.

Bonnie:
Did you just threaten my best friend? I can crush your skull without even flinching.

Katherine:
Go ahead. Make your move.

Elena:
Hey.

Damon:
Hey.

Elena:
So I think there's some stuff you and I need to talk about.

Damon:
Yes, we do, but first... (holds out the cure) Consider it a graduation present.

Elena:
Damon, I can't take that.

Damon:
Sure you can. Looks like it might be cherry flavored.

Elena:
I'm not saying I don't want it. Obviously I want it, but that's the only one. There's only one cure, and the Hunters have made it pretty clear that they're willing to kill everyone in Mystic Falls until they get it.

Damon:
Elena, take the damn thing. I want you to take it.

Elena:
I can't.

Damon:
Well, I guess that answers the sire bond question. (floor creaks) You gonna help a brother out or you just gonna lurk?

Jeremy:
Look, Elena. You're my sister, and I love you no matter what you choose.

Damon:
How is it even when you're dead, you're the bane of my existence?

Lexi:
You know, you're missing your chance to weigh in on the great Elena Gilbert cure debate.

Stefan:
What am I supposed to do, tell her it's her choice? Because that worked out so well. You know, it's funny. Those two are in there arguing about how to protect the world, and they have yet to address their biggest issue.

Lexi:
Enlighten me.

Stefan:
Sire bond's gone. Elena's emotions are back. She finally knows exactly how she feels.

Lexi:
And if whatever she feels is for you...

Stefan:
She's the love of my life. I'd go back to her in a heartbeat. But if that's not how she feels, then maybe that's exactly what I need to hear to get my ass out the door. Maybe I will move to Australia. I can live in a yurt.

Lexi:
Cheers to that.

Damon:
Come on! We don't need the cure for Silas, he's calcified stone. Ugh.

Elena:
What was that?

Damon:
Nothing.

Elena:
Take off your shirt.

Damon:
Elena, there are children present.

Elena:
Fine. [pulls the collar down to reveal Damon's shoulder] Damon, why isn't this healed?

Damon:
Because the bullet was laced with werewolf venom, ok? Hunters are dicks.

Elena:
We need Klaus. We need his blood.

Damon:
Klaus would rather see me die. Plus, Klaus is a thousand miles away, sipping a hurricane on Bourbon street.

Elena:
That wound will kill you.

Jeremy:
What about the cure?

Elena:
Jeremy's right. If you're human, the werewolf venom won't hurt you.

Damon:
And here I was so moved by your speech to save mankind. (listens) Sounds like Vaughn's awake.

Elena:
Damon, wait!

[cut to the living room]

Damon:
Here.

Stefan:
What the hell are you doing?

Damon:
Digging up Silas. Coming, Vaughn, or not?

Damon:
Here we are!

Vaughn:
What is it?

Damon:
This is where I dumped Silas. Closed off to hikers, no food for animals, endlessly deep water.

Vaughn:
I'm not following you, Damon. Where exactly did you put the body?

Damon:
Well, um, let me see. So I-- I dragged his stone ass through here, I flung him in that general direction, and he tumbled down into those weeds. I kinda lost him in the rocks. What do you know about physics? What is it? It's distance equals velocity times time? Guess I should have told you to bring some scuba gear, huh?

Rebekah:
Fine. Ok. The first rule of truly living-- do the thing you're most afraid of. [kisses Matt]

Caroline:
Klaus, now is not the time to decide that you are over me -- I'm gonna call you every ten minutes until you get your ass here to save Damon's life.

Klaus:
There are plenty more of these to go around. Who's next? I can do this all day.

Damon:
Hi.

Elena:
Are you feeling better?

Damon:
Yeah.

Elena:
So it's all healed up?

Damon:
Fresh as a daisy.

Elena:
Good. (slaps him)

Lexi:
[listening from the living room] Ouch.

Alaric:
Yeah. I taught her that swing.

Stefan:
You know it's not polite to eavesdrop, right?

Lexi:
Hey, I'm short on time here, don't rob me of what little joy I have.

Lexi:
You know there's something else out there, right? There has to be. Silas' whole agenda was to find peace with his one true love, and whatever peace is, it's out there. I figure once we've served our time for all the bad things we've done, then it's just about letting go and moving on.

Alaric:
And how are we supposed to do that when the knuckleheads we care about can't seem to keep their lives straight?

Lexi:
Yeah.

Stefan:
So, uh, what's up?

Elena:
Honestly, Stefan, I just wanted to thank you for sticking by me when I was at my worst, for believing that I was still in there. Even after everything I put you through, you... you never gave up on me.

Stefan:
I, uh, I kind of owed you one.

Elena:
Here. It's yours. I want you to have it.

Stefan:
[opens hand to reveal the cure] No, Elena. I'm not--

Elena:
Stefan, the only person worse at being a vampire than me is you. Human blood is your downfall. You got the raw end of the vampire deal. The rest of us will be fine. We'll survive. I mean, you taught us! You deserve whatever you want out of life. You deserve this.

Caroline:
How'd you get here so fast?

Klaus:
I was already on my way. I received your graduation announcement. It's very subtle. I assume you're expecting cash.

Caroline:
That or a mini fridge.

Klaus:
Well I had considered offering you a first-class ticket to join me in New Orleans, but I knew what your answer would be, so I opted for something I knew you would accept. Tyler is now free to return to Mystic Falls.

Caroline:
What?

Klaus:
He's your first love. I intend to be your last, however long it takes. [Kisses her cheek] Congratulations, Caroline. Lets get out of here before 12 angry hybrids decide to pick a fight.

Damon:
I wanted to apologize.

Elena:
Good.

Damon:
Let me finish! I said wanted to. And then I realized, I'm not sorry!

Elena:
You would rather die than be human, and you expect me to be okay with that?

Damon:
I didn't say you were expected to be ok with it, I just said I'm not sorry! You know what I really am? Selfish. Because I make bad choices that hurt you. Yes, I would rather have died than be human. I'd rather die right now than spend a handful of years with you only to lose you when I'm too old and sick and miserable and you're still you. I'd rather die right now than spend my last, final years remembering how good I had it and how happy I was because that's who I am, Elena, and I'm not gonna change, and there's no apology in the world that encompasses all the reasons that I'm wrong for you.

Elena:
Fine. Then I'm not sorry either. I'm not sorry that I met you. I'm not sorry that knowing you has made me question everything. That in death, you're the one that made me feel most alive. You've been a terrible person. You've made all the wrong choices, and of all the choices that I have made, this will prove to be the worst one, but I am not sorry that I'm in love with you! I love you, Damon. I love you.

Alaric:
You got the girl, man.

Damon:
I got the girl.

Alaric:
Now don't screw it up.

Damon:
Well, with you looking over my shoulder, how can I?

Lexi:
New York?

Stefan:
Too close.

Lexi:
Ohh! Vegas!

Stefan:
Oh. No. Too touristy.

Lexi:
Look. I know you think I'm joking, but you are leaving. You just graduated for the millionth time. It's time to start living your life.

Stefan:
What if Elena was the one?

Lexi:
She was, and she will always be an epic love. Contrary to popular belief, there are actually multiple ones, especially for a vampire. The only way to find another is to let go and move on.

Stefan:
Never been to Portland. [he looks over to see an empty seat] See you, Lexi.

Katherine:
Happy graduation, cupcake.

Elena:
Kicking someone while they're down. Classy to the end, Katherine.

Elena:
Have a nice human life, Katherine.

Silas:
[in Elena's form] Don't bother. I'm not in there anymore.

Stefan:
Silas. You were stone. They saw you. The spell worked.

Silas:
That's the funny thing about spells. They're bound by nature, and nature demands balance, so every spell has a loophole. The spell that turned me to stone was bound by a witch, a living witch, so when that witch died, the spell broke.

Stefan:
Bonnie. Bonnie's not dead.

Silas:
Doesn't matter, does it? And here's where the mystery of me comes full circle. I created the immortality spell 2,000 years ago. I could never die, so nature needed to find a balance, a version of me that could die. A shadow self; a doppelganger.

Stefan:
So this is finally your real face? You're another one of them?

Silas:
Not exactly. Hello, my shadow self.