A Catastrophe of Men

Norm Sadowski:
People: There are great rewards with earning your wages through middle management. But if you keep up with this slacking off, and heed my warnings here, HEED THEM, you will NOT have a job here much longer. And on a brighter note, as most of you know, today is my birthday. On Friday night I will be having a party and I expect you all to attend. There will be baked chips, pretzel rods, and birthday cake.

Norm Sadowski:
What the f*** is that on your face?

Jim Traffican:
You mean this? It's a mustache. It's debonair.

Norm Sadowski:
You cannot be serious. It looks f***ing ridiculous. My wife is going to take one look at you and think you're a jackass.

Jim Traffican:
Norman, you silly man. I've read a lot of Harlequin romance novels in my day. I know know women like.

Norm Sadowski:
Fuzznuts, I've had about enough of...

Jim Traffican:
And no more of that, Norm. I legally changed my name from "Aaron Garrity."

Norm Sadowski:
To what?

Jim Traffican:
Jim Traffican.

Nancy Sadowski:
You know, Detective. I seem recall an episode of "Dirty Housewives" on Cinemax about this lonely housewife who is seduced by a rogue cop.

Jim Traffican:
I don't watch that smut. I'm a Republican.

Jim Traffican:
I did everything I could possibly do.

Norm Sadowski:
You didn't have to stop for burgers and fries on the way to the hospital.

Princess:
Those burgers made my bum hurt real bad.

Jim Traffican:
That's because you eat too fast.