The Glimmer Man

Jack Cole:
C'mon. Take your best shot!

[Cunningham swings and misses]

Jack Cole:
No, I said your *best* shot!

[Cunningham swings and misses several times]

Jack Cole:
Boring!

[Cunningham swings and misses several more times, then gets Cole in the nose]

Jack Cole:
Is that the *best* you got, boy?

[Cunningham swings and misses]

Jack Cole:
'Cause if that's the best you got, I'm just gonna have to kill you.

Jack Cole:
[starts choking Cunningham] IS *THAT* ALL YOU GOT?

Campbell:
What would cause something like that?

Coroner:
What am I? The Amazing Randi? We have tests to run. It will take time.

Campbell:
Have you seen Casablanca?

Jack Cole:
You're asking me, have I seen Casablanca?

Campbell:
Have you?

Jack Cole:
A guy like me, not seen Casablanca?

Campbell:
Well have you?

Jack Cole:
No.

Mr. Smith:
He's selling it to a bunch of Serbian freedom fighters.

Campbell:
You mean terrorists.

Mr. Smith:
Semantics. You say tomato...

Campbell:
No, motherf***er, I didn't say tomato, I said terrorists.

Jack Cole:
Once and a while you should cry because it cleanses the soul and you can use a little bit of that.

Detective Jim Campbell:
If I need a cleansing, I'll have a bran muffin.

Detective Jim Campbell:
You sell roaches? Damn, I'm in the wrong business! I could make money and never leave my apartment.

Jack Cole:
It's called a mala. Tibetan pray beads.

Detective Jim Campbell:
What do you use 'em for?

Jack Cole:
I use 'em to calm my mind and to purify my thoughts.

Detective Jim Campbell:
Yeah, I use Jack Daniels!

Jack Cole:
See now, we're trying to go to same place. We're just using different technique.

Detective Jim Campbell:
Except I don't wear the bottle around my neck!

Jack Cole:
That's because you'd lose your job if you did...

Jack Cole:
Do you speak Russian?

Detective Jim Campbell:
A little bit.

[Campbell starts banging the suspect's head to the trunk of the car]

Detective Jim Campbell:
Answer, god damn mother f***er! Or I'll beat the sh*t out of your dumb ass!

Jack Cole:
You speak good Russian!

Detective Jim Campbell:
Yes, black Russian!

Mr. Smith:
Suffice to say, to the people he hunted for us, he was known as the Glimmer Man. There'd be nothing but jungle, then a glimmer... Then you'd be dead!

Detective Jim Campbell:
Look, why don't we just get you some red boots and a cape, so you can fly around the city and stop ALL the crime!

Jack Cole:
[Campbell is shot through a window but catches the ledge on his way down. Cole brings him a rope from the roof] Hang on, Jim!

Detective Jim Campbell:
Good idea, Jack! I wouldn't have thought of that! [Cole grabs him and they crash through an old lady's window] Police business, ma'am. The elevator was broken.

Donald Cunningham:
Has anybody ever told you you're a real pain in the ass?

Jack Cole:
All the time.

[Donald points his gun at Cole]

Donald Cunningham:
You're not gonna have to hear it anymore. I'm gonna take care of you like I took care of your ex-wife.

Jack Cole:
You know, when you wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, I think you're probably happy. Pleased at what you see. And that disturbs me. So I'm gonna take it on as my responsibility to make sure that you never get to look in the mirror again.

Donald Cunningham:
I woke up happy, I'm goin' to bed happy. 'Cause you're gonna be dead.

Campbell:
If you'll excuse me I have to get back to the nineties now.

Mr. Smith:
[Having been shot in the foot, and then his left hand, Cole holds the gun up to his right hand] Jack! Now, Jack-Jack... I-I need that hand, Jack, I need that hand, Jack!

Jack Cole:
You know I will. Right about n...

Mr. Smith:
Alright! Alright! Game over!

[a beat]

Mr. Smith:
God, I've missed you, Jack! So many young men today just won't go that extra mile.

Mr. Smith:
[as Cole and Campbell are leaving] Gentlemen, leave us not forget that matter of the ambulance.

Jack Cole:
I only shot you in one foot. Hobble to a hospital!

Mr. Smith:
[Cole has deftly shot and wounded Smith, while trying to obtain information that can clear Jack of several recent murders] You're a f***ing' psycho! Campbell, *you're* still a cop! Aren't you going to help?

Detective Jim Campbell:
Okay... [pulls a gun on Smith] But I'm a really bad shot.

[Cole stops him]

Detective Jim Campbell:
Just trying to help you, Jack.

[Deverell hears a tape of Smiths conversation with Cole]

Jack Cole:
I know you're friends with everyone from the postman to the President, but *none* of them will touch you with a ten foot pole once this tape gets out.

Frank Deverell:
What do you want?

Jack Cole:
Donald. Donald's your trigger-man, right? We want him, not you. You give him to us in a pretty pink bow and the murder weapon. I take it from there. You take the tape. My name gets clean. Your name stays clean. Everyone's happy. Agreed?

Frank Deverell:
Done.

Donald Cunningham:
[picks up the phone] Yeah.

[Cole and Deverell's conversation is played on a tape]

Campbell:
Sounds like your ass just got sold down the river, sh*t-head!

[a confrontation between Deverell, Donald, and the mob]

Frank Deverell:
How Shakespearian!

Donald Cunningham:
To be, or...

Donald Cunningham:
[shoots Deverell]... NOT TO BE!

[Donald ends up impaled to an iron gate in a crucifix position]

Jack Cole:
I don't think you'll be waking up happy now.

Jack Cole:
[regarding a dead Russian woman] What else do you see?

Campbell:
She's got nice tits.

Jack Cole:
Exactly. But I think a little *too* nice. [takes a scalpel and cuts open the woman's breast, removing a gel-filled implant with a serial number on it] Okay, partner. Run this number.

[after Cole jumps through a window with Johnny]

Millie:
I love you, Johnny!

Johnny Deverell:
[winded] I love you too... ugh...

Jack Cole:
I love you too. I hate this job.