Sort by:PopularityA - Z
Quotes from the news wire:
I've read too many reports, too many first-person reports from teachers who say,' I can't go on teaching like this because this is insanity what I'm doing in this classroom, separating kids by race and oppressors and non-oppressors. And they're little kids. It is going on.
Found on FOX News 2 years ago
It's not like you're not allowed to literally not say gay, but they just don't want teachers talking about it. They think it's the province of parents.
Found on FOX News 2 years ago
Well, you should live out here for a while. You'll see some crazy s ---, and yet, as I always say, the climate is a disaster and the weather is delightful.
Found on FOX News 2 years ago
I think in California, it's the school [ that ] has more of those rights than the parent, that's not how everybody feels out here. It's like we need to protect the student from the parents with the school.
Found on FOX News 2 years ago
Now, I've always seen the opposition party give a rebuttal. This is from the same party. This is like sacking your own quarterback, i don't know, maybe she's gonna say some nice things about Joe, but basically it's to present- … bad idea for the Democrats?
Found on FOX News 2 years ago
In the old days, this was called discretion, i'm not gon na tell everybody who I'm f --- ing.' Now, I didn't tell everybody who I've been f --- ing and I'm the bad guy ?!?
Found on FOX News 2 years ago
OK ? Bill Maher see the point here ? and again, I don't agree with her on Michael Vick. But we grew up in two different worlds, which the White people impose upon the Black people. They are going to sometimes have a very different opinion. And the answer is not to make them sit in a corner for two weeks. That is insulting, so insulting, to make a 65-year-old -- I mean, the person at ABC News said,' I've asked her to take time to reflect and learn about the impact of her comments.'.
Found on FOX News 2 years ago
That's the problem in America. There is just one view, one true opinion. And everyone else can go sit in the corner, can we just understand that part of our sorry racial history in this country is that the point of view from a Black person is often going to be very different and sometimes shocking to a White person ?
Found on FOX News 2 years ago
First of all … there is no f --- ing thing as karma, OK ? Get over that, whoopi attacks me on a regular basis, Whoopi Goldberg says stupid s --- on a regular basis, it just so happened to coincide.
Found on FOX News 2 years ago
And after every one of us winds up bearing the cost for cars to install this alarm, you know who's going to ignore it? Crackheads are the people who do it on purpose, a sensor light is not going to fix this problem and Democrats no longer possess the common sense to understand that not every problem in the world can be fixed with a regulation. But don't tell that to the advocacy groups who also want every future car in America to only start when the driver blows into a breathalyzer. Oh great, my other car is a Karen. You know, it's also not safe to drive when you're crying. Should we make a car that follows your texts and stops the engine when you're dumped?
Found on FOX News 2 years ago
This is why so many people, by the way, were triggered by COVID policies. They were already sick of rules, regulation should be a good issue for Democrats. It's certainly one they're associated with. And I think the average voter would agree that banks, chemical plants and drug companies need watching … but Democrats have become a parody of themselves just making rules to make rules because it makes you feel like you're a better person. Making sure that everything bad never happens again, which you can never fully do. It just makes everyone else's life a drag.
Found on FOX News 2 years ago
What a sad commentary on our politics. We're simply acknowledging reality is now seen as a profile in courage, people sometimes say to me, ‘You know, you didn’t use to make fun of the left as much.' Yeah, because they didn't give me so much to work with. The oath of office I took was to comedy. And if you do goofy s---, wherever you are in the spectrum, I'm going to make fun of you because that's where the gold is. And the fact that they are laughing at it should tell you something- it rings true.
Found on FOX News 2 years ago
That's why I'm a hero at Fox these days, which shows just how much liberals have their head up their a-- because if they really thought about it, they would have made me a hero on their media, but that can't happen in this ridiculous new era of mind-numbing partisanship, where if I keep it real about the nonsense in the Democratic Party, it makes me an instant hero to Republicans.
Found on FOX News 2 years ago
Now, some people think this means I've changed. I assure you, I have not. I am still the same unmarried, childless, pot-smoking libertine I always was, let's get this straight. It's not me who's changed, it's the left who is now made up of a small contingent who've gone mental and a large contingent who refuse to call them out for it, but I will.
Found on FOX News 2 years ago
You don’t have to do it, but stay away from everybody, because if you're the one who’s not paying attention, and you’re coughing and sneezing … then stay out of the public, man, nobody wants this. I don’t want it. And I think he’s forgetting that people are still at risk who cannot get vaccinated … little kids under the age of five, or people with health conditions.
Found on FOX News 2 years ago
Seventy percent of Democrats thought it was way, way, way higher than it really was, liberal media has to take a little responsibility for that, for scaring the s--- out of people.
Found on FOX News 2 years ago
I feel like that’s the Achilles heel of the left right now. They identify issues mostly by what they can feel superior to another person for.
Found on FOX News 2 years ago
I think you can claim the moral high ground if you’re anti, i feel like that’s the Achilles heel of the left right now. They identify issues mostly by what they can feel superior to another person for.
Found on FOX News 2 years ago
If the word only made you think of rational, deserved causes like teaching a less whitewashed version of American history, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez would still want to own it. But it's a joke because it makes you think of people who wake up offended and take orders from Twitter. And their oversensitivity has grown tiresome.
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
I keep saying this to the Democratic Party. The reason why you're so toxic is because you've become the party of no common sense. And people see this on their newsfeeds, they see things on their phone or on their Facebook page, people pass things around and it's a constant drip, drip, drip of ‘ Oh, these people are nuts' in a way -- they're not oblivious to the fact that Trump is nuts. When he ran, one of his big selling points was ‘ You’ve got no choice.' He was saying, ‘ Yes, I know I ’m nuts. You know I'm nuts. But they're nuts in a very different way that's closer to home to you.'.
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
Woke -- I don't remember the day the term was born, although I hear Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez says, ‘ Only old people use Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez now. ’ Well, you gave it to us. Like five years ago. So sorry we didn't get the memo, in its best sense, if we're talking about being aware of things we should have always been aware of more, reckonings that we've had … but there's a reason why the term ‘ woke ’ has come to signify going too far. And doing things that don't make sense.
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
But that will probably never happen because Democrats don't go anywhere these days where they're not being adored, and that's my last bit of advice to them. Go where the ‘ amen corner ’ isn't. Do Fox News. Be brave. Come here. Go everywhere. Winning is about expanding the electorate.
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
I'm not going to let parents come into schools and actually take books out and make their own decisions. I don't think parents should be telling schools what they should teach.
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
If that's what critical race theory means, if it means separating 5-year-olds by race and telling some you're oppressors and the others you're the oppressed and giving up on a colorblind society and resegregation and racism is the essence of America- then I'm out. I'm out on that, but I'm in on Toni Morrison, I'm in on acknowledging racism still persist.
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
I said this months and months ago that the issue in coming elections is going to be what's going on in the schools, parents vote and they don't like what's going in schools. They feel like they are losing control and this became the issue in this election.
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
It's an amulet, you know? A charm people wear around the neck that wards away evil spirits. It means nothing, i mean, can't we get people to understand the facts more?
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
Well, OK. But you know, people who've had it – I've had it, i mean, I shouldn't be tested anymore. I got the vaccine.
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
I travel in every state now, back on the road, and the red states are a joy and the blue states are a pain in the a--. For no reason, one of the critical things that's being discussed right now by President Biden, one of the things we have to recommit ourselves to, is supporting vaccination around the rest of the world.
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
Just resume living, i know some people seem to not want to give up on the wonderful pandemic, but you know what? It's over. There's always going to be a variant. You shouldn't have to wear masks. I should be to … I haven't had a meeting with my staff since March of 2020. Why?
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
Isn't that a story in itself ? You know, doesn't that say this company is pretty enlightened to begin with ? I mean, sometimes you can ask for too much, even if you're a minority.
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
It says a lot about the differentiation between real people.
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
When I hear ‘ transphobic, ’ ‘ phobic ’ has a meaning. Fear. I'm not transphobic if I merely disagree with you. It's not hate, one of the reactions from someone who worked at Netflix said, ‘ This is not an argument with two sides. ’ Well, right away you lost me. ' It is an argument with trans people who want to be alive and people who don't want us to be.' Well, that's just ridiculous. Dave Chappelle does not want you to not be alive.
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
I'm Bill Maher, now, I'm Team Dave but that doesn't mean I'm anti-trans. We can have two thoughts in our head at the same time.
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
They're mad at them because they're not progressive enough -- forgetting that they only got elected because they're not progressives! They're moderates, here's my question: Does spending more money make you a better person? Or a bigger moderate?
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
This is why I'm a little hopeful that this purity purge may end because it's starting to eat its own, eSPN reporter Rachel Nichols was a feminist success story but when she complained in a private telephone call about ESPN's crappy longtime record on diversity and expressed her view that she felt like she was being sacrificed by the network so they could make up for that crappy longtime record on diversity, the call was leaked and she was toast. Now, in addition to the fact that a person should have to love getting fired, even if it does achieve more equity, this was a private call ! Does ‘ private ’ mean anything anymore ? Apparently not !
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
It was gonna happen, it had to happen and he was the one who f---in' pulled the Band-Aid off.
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
The people who know what they're doing -- the Democrats -- and the pullout looks exactly … I can't think of how it could've looked any different if it was Trump. Honestly, i mean, how could it be more f---ed up? How could it be more incompetent? How could it be more Trumpian? So what do I say to myself when I sleep at night when the adults are back in charge and they f--- it up exactly as bad as Trump would?
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
Well, I think this is worse than Ralph Northam, what's worse, blackface at a party in 1980 … or actually sexually harassing women in 2021 and who work under you?
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
Stop the apologizing, you're the guy who made the founding fathers Black and Hispanic ! I don't think you have to apologize to Twitter.
Found on CNN 3 years ago
I don't think that you have to apologize to Twitter ! For f ---'s sake. This is why people hate Democrats. It's cringy.
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
I've heard this from so many nurses and teachers and administrators rolling their eyes when relating how they needed to take some bulls --- course in order to advance in the field when really they've already learned what they need by working the job, but in the grift that is our higher education, when you want to move up, ‘ Hold on there ! Not so fast ! Tollbooth ahead ! You need to pay for more ’ education' before you we decide you could do what you do.' F ---, this is what Scientology does, makes you keep taking courses to move up to ‘ The Bridge of Total Freedom. ’.
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
Doesn't it behoove the people who rejected the half a loaf and continue to attack … Hamas's charter says they just want to wipe out The Israelis. Their negotiation position is' You all die,' the two-state solution has been on the table a number of times. There could be an Arab capital in East Jerusalem now if Yasser Arafat had accepted that in 2003. He did not.
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
The Jews has been in that area of the world since about 1200 B.C., way before the first Muslim or Arab walked the earth. ... I mean, Jerusalem was their capital. So if it's who got there first, it's not even close, the Jews were the ones who were occupied by everybody ; the Romans took over at some point and then the Persians and the Byzantines and then the Ottomans. So yes, there was colonization going on there. Beginning in the 19th century, they started to return to Palestine, which was never an Arab country. There was never a country called Palestine that was a distinct Arab country.
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
There's a lot of talk in liberal corners about how Republicans should tell their base who still believe that the election was rigged, that they need to grow up and move on and stop asking the rest of us to respect their mass delusion, and, of course, it is a mass delusion, but the inconvenient truth here is, if you accord religious faith the kind of exhaled respect we do here in America, you've already lost the argument that massdelusion is bad.
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
In other words, we have no proof the election was stolen and you may have verifiable evidence that it wasn't but that doesn't matter. It only matters that we believe it, and that's when you're at religion, thatyou have to respect something just because people believe it.
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
All the armies of the world will gather and Jesus will come down on a flying horse, shooting swords out of his mouth.
Found on FOX News 3 years ago
I am feeling less confident about this -- maybe its just their convention bump got to me, but Im feeling less confident than I was a month ago, i feel very nervous, the same way I did four years ago at this time.
Found on FOX News 4 years ago
I feel very nervous, the same way I did four years ago at this time.
Found on FOX News 4 years ago
He was pushing back on Joe Biden for saying, you know, if you vote for President Trump, you aint Black and I dont think that is a good thing for Joe Biden to have said, he [ Cameron ] said I have my own mind.
Found on FOX News 4 years ago
I dont know if this stuff works, but it might, i am feeling less confident about this -- maybe its just their convention bump got to me, but Im feeling less confident than I was a month ago. Bill Maher RESPONDS TO DONALD TRUMPS CRITICAL TWEET ABOUT Bill Maher TV SHOW, APPEARANCE : REALLY ? MSNBC host Joy Reid agreed that the GOP convention was a.
Found on FOX News 4 years ago
My question is, you know,[Clinton] has assets and he has ... things that are not quite assets, and same with Hillary. What do the Democrats -- what should they do?
Found on FOX News 4 years ago
Fat-shaming doesn't need to end ; it needs to make a comeback.
Found on CNN 5 years ago
Ive been saying for about two years -- that I hope we have a recession, and people get mad at me.
Found on FOX News 5 years ago
If a recession is what it takes to make President Donald Trump not so cute anymore, then bring it on, i just want America to say about Donald Trump what everybody in a relationship says when the hot sex wears off : What the f --- am I doing with this person ?
Found on FOX News 6 years ago
A recession is a survivable event, what President Donald Trump is doing to this country is not. Democracy is about to go the way of the dinosaurs because we’ve been taken over by a dodo bird. Tom Arnold Games Nicolle Wallace, Poppy Harlow While Plugging Michael Cohen Meeting For President Donald Trump Tapes Show.
Found on FOX News 6 years ago
One, President Trump is President Trump, two, white people have not been subjected to a racist trope comparing them to apes for hundreds of years.
Found on FOX News 6 years ago
Even Bill Cosby today was like ‘At least I’m thoughtful enough to give them a drug in their drink,’.
Found on FOX News 8 years ago
The dirty little secret is, most movies are made now with an eye to the foreign market, and Asians really are racist.
Found on CNN 8 years ago
Now if I said that -- 'Yeah, they're for Bernie 'cause that's where the boys are' -- you'd swat me, no, I wouldn't.
Found on CNN 8 years ago
Quote of the Day Today's Quote | Archive
Would you like us to send you a FREE inspiring quote delivered to your inbox daily?
Citation
Use the citation below to add this author page to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"Bill Maher Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Nov. 2024. <https://www.quotes.net/authors/Bill+Maher+Quotes>.
Powered by CITE.ME
Share your thoughts on Bill Maher's quotes with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In