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If a child shows himself to be incorrigible, he should be decently and quietly beheaded at the age of twelve, lest he grow to maturity marry, and perpetuate his kind.

– Don Marquis

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When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him whose?

– Don Marquis

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A pessimist is a person who has to listen to too many optimists.

– Don Marquis

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Between the years of ninety-two and a hundred and two, however, we shall be the ribald, useless, drunken, outcast person we have always wished to be. We shall have a long white beard and long white hair; we shall not walk at all, but recline in a wheel chair and bellow for alcoholic beverages; in the winter we shall sit before the fire with our feet in a bucket of hot water, a decanter of corn whiskey near at hand, and write ribald songs against organized society; strapped to one arm of our chair will be a forty-five calibre revolver, and we shall shoot out the lights when we want to go to sleep, instead of turning them off; when we want air we shall throw a silver candlestick through the front window and be damned to it; we shall address public meetings in a vein of jocund malice. We shall but we dont wish to make any one envious of the good time that is coming to us We look forward to a disreputable, vigorous, unhonoured, and disorderly old age.

– Don Marquis

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Blood will tell, but often it tells too much.

– Don Marquis

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Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes.

– Don Marquis

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Happiness is the interval between periods of unhappiness.

– Don Marquis

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Honesty is a good thing, but it is not profitable to its possessor unless it is kept under control.

– Don Marquis

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Ideas pull the trigger, but instinct loads the gun.

– Don Marquis

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Man cannot be uplifted he must be seduced into virtue.

– Don Marquis

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Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

– Don Marquis

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Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

– Don Marquis

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prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into

– Don Marquis

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Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.

– Don Marquis

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The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race.

– Don Marquis

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There is nothing so habit-forming as money.

– Don Marquis

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We pay for the mistakes of our ancestors, and it seems only fair that they should leave us the money to pay with.

– Don Marquis

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When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?

– Don Marquis

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