Famous quotes by »

Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner (born September 17, 1953) is an American comedienne, writer and actress

Update this biography »
Complete biography of Rita Rudner »

0 fans

Sort by:PopularityA - Z

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

– Rita Rudner

Rate it:

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

– Rita Rudner

Rate it:

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times.

– Rita Rudner

Rate it:

I gave my father $100 and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.

– Rita Rudner

Rate it:

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

– Rita Rudner

Rate it:

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

– Rita Rudner

Rate it:

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

– Rita Rudner

Rate it:

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

– Rita Rudner

Rate it:

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

– Rita Rudner

Rate it:

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. Rita Rudner

– Rita Rudner

Rate it:

Most turkeys taste better the day after. My mother's tasted better the day before.

– Rita Rudner

Rate it:

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

– Rita Rudner

Rate it:

My mother buried three husbands ... and two of them were only napping.

– Rita Rudner

Rate it:

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

– Rita Rudner

Rate it:

Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.

– Rita Rudner

Rate it:

To attract men, I wear a perfume called ``New Car Interior.'

– Rita Rudner

Rate it:

When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with'

– Rita Rudner

Rate it:

Share your thoughts on Rita Rudner's quotes with the community:

0 Comments

Notify me of new comments via email.

Quote of the Day Today's Quote | Archive

Would you like us to send you a FREE inspiring quote delivered to your inbox daily?

Citation

Use the citation below to add this author page to your bibliography:

Style:MLAChicagoAPA

"Rita Rudner Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 22 Jan. 2025. <https://www.quotes.net/authors/Rita+Rudner+Quotes>.

Missing a quote of Rita Rudner?

Know another good quote of Rita Rudner? Don't keep it to yourself!

The Web's Largest Resource for

Famous Quotes & Sayings

A Member Of The STANDS4 Network

Our favorite collection of

Famous Authors

Vincent Van Gogh
1853 - 1890
Albert Einstein
1879 - 1955
William Shakespeare
1564 - 1616
Edgar Allan Poe
1809 - 1849
Mark Twain
1835 - 1910
Sigmund Freud
1856 - 1939
Socrates
470 BC - 399 BC

Browse Quotes.net

#A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Random New Quotes

Quiz

Are you a quotes master?

Who said, “Hope is the power of being cheerful in circumstances that we know to be desperate.”

A Christopher Reeve

B G.K. Chesterton

C C.S. Lewis

D Desmond Tutu