28 Hours Later: The Zombie Movie

[first lines]

The News Anchor:
Reaction of law enforcement officials is one of complete bewilderment at this hour.

Zombie 87:
...and th-that's a wrap...

The Male Lead:
Oh F***ass, let me see your bat.

Zombie 87:
You know, I have a name, actually.

The Male Lead:
[mocking] Hmmm? Don't care.

The Producer:
Come on people! Let's get it together!

Zombie 87:
Uh, hi! Um, I'm gonna have to call you back. No, I love you. I'll talk to you soon. Okay. Bye. Sh*t.

The Male Lead:
Oh you're sorry? You oh, can I get anything else for you? Can we bring you some chips, some salsa?

The Male Lead:
Hey, what'd you guys think about that line? I thought it was a little weird. Like, the pitchfork's a mixer? Hey, can we watch that back?

Zombie 43:
You can't just say "It's a coincidence. How ironic..." No it's not. It's a coincidence. Gah, it's hard to explain without an example.

Zombie 21:
Fine Webster, use an example.

Zombie 17:
Yeah, use an example.

Zombie 43:
Okay, fine. Okay. Well, it's like...

The King Of The English Language:
[entering] It's like how ironic it is that irony is most often used when people get into an elaborate debate over the misuse of the word.

Zombie 43:
Perfect [he is attacked by a zombie]

The Boom Operator:
Well, we have to be careful. You stare at one, right? And he'll just keep staring back. Looking at you. But then you get hit. Not from the front, but from the side. And you didn't even know they were there. These guys, these guys are pack hunters, and they slash at you with a six-inch retractable claw. They get you across the belly, spill your intestines. The point is... you're still alive when they start to eat you.

The Guy Who Dies First:
Yeah... you're thinking of raptors, man.

The Male Lead:
You're out of tune... b*tch.

The Male Lead:
Seems to me... they just don't know when to die.

The Producer:
Right, like we're going to use our extensive knowledge of the streets and hotwire a van? What's wrong with you?

The Male Lead:
[repeated line]

The Male Lead:
Seems to me... they just don' know when to die.

[last lines]

The Producer:
Told you we should've had a closed set.