2gether: The Series

Chad Linus:
That retainer fit my mouth perfectly; like it was made for me.

Doug Linus:
It WAS made for you.

Chad Linus:
Well, actually, it was made for my friend Chris, but he never used it, so I was like "Hey, free retainer".

Jason "QT" McKnight:
I just majorly scored.

Jerry O'Keefe:
With her mom right there?

Doug Linus:
[to Jerry] So let old Doug get this straight. You get a free pass from your girlfriend to nail the hottest chick on the planet, and what does Jerry O'Keefe do? Jerry O'Keefe says "To hell with it! Right? I work out everyday, I got a square jaw, I got all my hair. I'm not some 34-year-old fat ass with two kids and an ex-wife who's sleeping with a hunky contractor in Pennsylvania!"

Chad Linus:
That's weird, Doug, cos your ex-wife is also sleeping with a contractor.