Stay Tuned

Helen:
(after being brought to the 1930's club) Where's my husband?

Murray Seidenbaum:
What are you worried about him for? I ditched my wife five channels ago. She happened to meet the business end of a fifty-ton reptile. And I can tell you, I don't exactly miss dried meat loaf. This is great here. Great. I don't ever want to get out. Outside, I was Murray the Doormat. In here, Boss Seidenbaum.

Crowley:
Nice disguise. Interesting concept. Diagonal b*obs. Can you fix that thing?

Roy:
I thought the wolves got you!

Crowley:
Oh yeah? Lemme tell you about wolves. Vicious? Extremely. Goes without saying. But not that bright. While those dumb bunnies were fighting over a couple of my appendages, I managed to escape.

Executioner:
[announcing the execution] By order of the court...

Crowley:
Looks like Spike's gonna make his quota after all. I'm sorry, Mrs. Knable.

Executioner:
I deliver the soul of the Marquis de Knable to it's rightful owner!

Spike:
[back at HQ] Finally, he's mine!

Helen:
[as a mouse] Couldn't be any worse, huh, Roy?

Roy:
Helen? Oh, my God! We're cartoons! Boy, this is strange.

Helen:
Strange? I'm an animated rodent wearing high-heeled running shoes. The word strange is somehow lacking! [hearing a door open, they run into the mouse hole]

Roy:
: At least we're safe here. Nobody ever dies in cartoons, right?

Helen:
Let me get this straight. We've been sucked into some kind of TV world?

Roy:
Are you saying that that salesman was...

Crowley:
Mr. Spike? Mephistopheles of the cathode ray, big brother to the ungrateful dead.

Spike:
[on HV One News] This just in... Helen Knable has been kidnapped and taken to Channel 1. We take you there live.

Helen:
[tied up to the dynamite wagon] Roy, I don't know where you are, but get your butt back here!

Spike:
Unfortunately, her gutless failure of a husband won't lift a finger to save her. Isn't that right, Roy?

Roy:
No!!

[After switching to another station while being pursued by Spike, Roy trips over a familiar looking couch in a familiar looking apartment. Two familiar looking women, one brunette and the other blonde with poni-tails, enter the apartment to the familiar theme of a familiar (and very popular) 70's TV show. They immediately mistake Roy for their roommate who (plausibly) lives with them (since they look exactly alike)]

Blond woman and brunette woman:
Where have you been?

Roy:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!