A Boyfriend for Christmas

Beth:
Diane got you a man for Christmas! Where was she when I was single?

Ted Powell:
Beth.

Beth:
Ted. [Ted exits] Still bathing in cologne, I smell.

Young Holly Grant:
[reading] A promised gift will come, my dear,

Young Holly Grant:
A love that's true and steady,

Young Holly Grant:
Between now and the end of the twentieth year,

Young Holly Grant:
When two hearts are ready.

Young Holly Grant:
[stops reading] Twenty years!

Harrison Lane:
We're not finished here, Hughes.

Ryan Hughes:
Maybe you're not. [exits]

Santa Claus:
Santa client privilege.

Diane:
The champagne is certainly helping me through my grief.

Ryan Hughes:
MVP: most valuable player.

Holly Grant:
No, most valuable present.

Carol Grant:
Oh, great, mother-in-law couture.

Holly Grant:
Carol, why don't you wear this one?

Carol Grant:
But that's your dress.

Holly Grant:
I'll find something in mom's closet.

Carol Grant:
You would do that? For me?

Holly Grant:
It's not a kidney, it's just a dress.

Santa Claus:
Don't let the moment escape you, Ryan, or you may regret it forever.

Holly Grant:
Have you ever been married?

Ryan Hughes:
No, you?

Holly Grant:
No.

Holly Grant:
Do you think pets should be a: outside or b: on the furniture.

Ryan Hughes:
a and b

Ryan Hughes:
You know, I might be difficult to exchange without a receipt.

Holly Grant:
That's ok. I think I'll keep you.