A Bridge Too Far

Field Marshal Model:
What can you see?

General Ludwig:
Nothing. But they're going to try a river assault.

Field Marshal Model:
It will fail.

General Ludwig:
Of course. But what do we do if it doesn't?

Corporal Hancock:
Sir.

Major General Urquhart:
Hancock. I've got lunatics laughing at me from the woods. My original plan has been scuppered now that the jeeps haven't arrived. My communications are completely broken down. Do you really believe any of that can be helped by a cup of tea?

Corporal Hancock:
Couldn't hurt, sir.

Brigadier General Gavin:
What's the best way to take a bridge?

Maj. Julian Cook:
Both ends at once.

Brigadier General Gavin:
I'm sending two companies across the river by boat. I need a man with very special qualities to lead.

Maj. Julian Cook:
Go on, sir.

Brigadier General Gavin:
He's got to be tough enough to do it and he's got to be experienced enough to do it. Plus one more thing. He's got to be dumb enough to do it... Start getting ready.

Maj. Julian Cook:
Well someone's come up with a real nightmare. Real nightmare.

Lt. General Frederick "Boy" Browning:
I've just been on to Monty. He's very proud and pleased.

Major General Urquhart:
Pleased?

Lt. General Frederick "Boy" Browning:
Of course. He thinks Market Garden was 90% successful.

Major General Urquhart:
But what do you think?

Lt. General Frederick "Boy" Browning:
Well, as you know, I always felt we tried to go a bridge too far.

Major General Gunther Blumentritt:
Everyone knows you have never lost a battle.

Field Marshall Gerd von Runstedt:
I'm still young, give me time.

Field Marshall Walther Model:
Why do all my generals want to destroy my bridges?

Maj. General Stanislaw Sosabowski:
God bless Field Marshall Montgomery.

Brig. General James Gavin:
So that's it. We're pulling them out. It was Nijmegen.

Lt. Colonel J.O.E. Vandeleur:
It was the single road getting to Nijmegen.

Lt. General Horrocks:
No, it was after Nijmegen.

Lt. General Frederick "Boy" Browning:
And the fog, in England.

Maj. General Stanislaw Sosabowski:
Doesn't matter what it was. When one man says to another, "I know what let's do today, let's play the war game."... everybody dies.

Lt. Colonel J.O.E. Vandeleur:
Remember what the general said. We're the cavalry. It would be bad form to arrive early; in the nick of time would do nicely.

Lt. Colonel J.O.E. Vandeleur:
Remember what the general said; we're the cavalry. It would be bad form to arrive in advance of schedule. In the nick of time would do nicely.

SSgt. Eddie Dohun:
Where's the captain?

SSgt. Eddie Dohun:
Didn't ask you how he was. I asked you where he was.

Lt. Colonel J.O.E. Vandeleur:
You don't know the worst. This bit we're on now?

Lt. Colonel J.O.E. Vandeleur:
It's the wide part.

John Frost:
She does realize there's something of a war going on, doesn't she?

John Frost:
I'm awfully sorry, but I'm afraid we're going to have to occupy your house.

Lt. Colonel J.O.E. Vandeleur:
Have you ever been liberated?

Col. Robert Stout:
I was divorced twice. Does that count?

Lt. Colonel J.O.E. Vandeleur:
Yes.

Lt. General Horrocks:
This is a story you will tell your grandchildren; and mightily bored they'll be.

Lt. General Horrocks:
Do you think you'll be able to pull it off, Joe?

Lt. Colonel J.O.E. Vandeleur:
I have nothing else planned for this afternoon.

Maj. General Roy Urqhart:
When you first named me to this command, I told you I had never jumped before, but I felt I should at least give it a go. You told me, 'Roy, you're much too old and far too large for that sort of thing.' Well, I didn't tell you at the time, but you did me a favor. You see, I'm prone to airsickness.

Maj. General Roy Urqhart:
Well, we'll soon see.

Radio Operator:
Good news, Colonel. The 82nd captured the Grave River bridge intact.

Col. Robert Stout:
That's wonderful; only XXX Corps isn't going to get across the goddam Grave River bridge until we fix the goddam Son River Bridge the Germans just blew up. Call our British cousins and tell them to get some Bailey crap ready. Tell them we'll meet them in Eindhoven, and tell those schmucks to do this right and have their Bailey crap at the front of the column.

Radio operator:
Yes, Sir.

Col. Robert Stout:
And be sure to say please.

Lt. Colonel J.O.E. Vandeleur:
By Bailey crap I suppose you are referring to that marvel of British engineering that is the envy of the civilized world. Well, yes, we have it but

Lt. Colonel J.O.E. Vandeleur:
I don't know how you're going to get it through this crowd.

Col. Robert Stout:
No sweat. I got a back way staked out that will avoid all this. American ingenuity.

Col. Robert Stout:
Actually, I was born in Yugoslavia, but what the hell.

Lt. Gen. Frederick Browning:
Only the weather can stop us now.

General Stanislaw Sosaboski:
Weather. What of the Germans, General Browning. Don't you think that if we know Arnhem is so critical to their safety that they might know it too?

Lt. General Frederick Browning:
See here, General Sosaboski, I should think you would have more faith in Field Marshal Montgomery's plan.

General Stanislaw Sosaboski:
Faith? I will tell you how much faith I have. I am thinking of asking for a letter from you stating that I was ordered to go on this mission in case my men are massacred.

Lt. General Frederick Browning:
I see... I do see. Do you wish such a letter?

General Stanislaw Sosaboski:
No... In the case of massacre: what difference will it make?

Captain Harry Bestebreurtje:
I don't want to hear any more. Is there any more?

Brigadier General James Gavin:
You're my Dutch advisor, Harry.

Captain Harry Bestebreurtje:
What's that supposed to mean?

Brigadier General James Gavin:
Just that the Germans first tried to take Nijmeagen Bridge in 1940; and got slaughtered.

Lt. Col. John Frost:
Hello, Harry.

Major Harry Carlyle:
Hello. Johnny.

Lt. Col. John Frost:
You know, Harry; I always wanted to ask you but didn't because I knew you so very much wanted me to; but why do you always carry that umbrella?

Major Harry Carlyle:
Bad memory. Never could remember the password. Knew no Jerry would carry one. Had to prove I was an Englishman, you see.

Field Marshal Model:
No reinforcements to Arnhem. Von Runstedt says we will need them for our counter attack.

Lt. General Bittrich:
Counterattack! With what?

Field Marshal Model:
Paratroopers are lightly armed and equipped. They cannot hold out for long. If we can hold up their infantry on the road to Arnhem, they will be forced to surrender

Field Marshal Model's aide:
British paratroopers have landed.

Field Marshall Walther Model:
Why should they do that? There is nothing important here. Me... I am important. They have come just to capture me.

SSgt. Eddie Dohun:
Colonel, if you don't look at him right now, he's going to die.

U.S. medical colonel:
He's dead now.

SSgt. Eddie Dohun:
It would mean a lot to me, sir, if you'd check him out.

U.S. medical colonel:
Come on, Sergeant! For Chrissakes get him out of here!

SSgt. Eddie Dohun:
Would you look at him please, sir.

SSgt. Eddie Dohun:
Right now. Or I'll blow your f***in' head off.

SSgt. Eddie Dohun:
Right now.

U.S. medical colonel:
I can give him a quick examination if you like.

SSgt. Eddie Dohun:
Thank you very much, sir.

U.S. medical colonel:
You scared the sh*t out of me, you stupid bastard.

SSgt. Eddie Dohun:
You did a fine job yourself, sir, if it makes you feel any better.

U.S. medical colonel:
You're goddamn right it does.

Lt. General Frederick "Boy" Browning:
Hello, Roy. How are you?

Maj. General Roy Urqhart:
I'm not sure I'll know for a while. But I'm sorry about how it turned out.

Lt. General Frederick "Boy" Browning:
You did all you could.

Maj. General Roy Urqhart:
Yes, but did everyone else?

Lt. General Frederick "Boy" Browning:
They've got a bed for you upstairs if you want it.

Maj. General Roy Urqhart:
I took ten thousand men into Arnhem. I've come out with less than two. I don't feel much like sleeping.

'Taffy' Brace:
Morphia's only for the people who are really hurt.

'Taffy' Brace:
Well, you're wrong.

General Ludwig:
Forgive me, but there is a battle. And we are in the process of winning it.

Dr. Jan Spaander:
Winning and losing is not our concern - living and dying... is.

[an SS officer is approaching under a white flag]

Major Harry Carlyle:

Rather interesting development, sir.

Major Carlyle:

That’s far enough! We can hear you from there!

SS Panzer Officer:

My general says there is no point in continuing this fighting! He wishes to discuss terms of a surrender!

Major Carlyle:

Shall I answer him, sir?

Lt. Col. John Frost:

Tell him to go to hell.

Major Carlyle:

We haven’t the proper facilities to take you all prisoner! Sorry!

SS Panzer Officer:

What?

Major Carlyle:

We’d like to, but we can’t accept your surrender! Was there anything else?

Lt. Col. Frost:

Well, that’s that.

SS Panzer Officer:

They rejected our surrender offer. What are your orders, Herr General?

Lt. General Bittrich:

Flatten Arnhem.