A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving

Charlie Brown:
We've got ANOTHER holiday to worry about. It seems Thanksgiving Day is upon us.

Sally Brown:
I haven't even finished eating all of my Halloween candy!

Linus van Pelt:
Sally, Thanksgiving is a very important holiday. Ours was the first country in the world to make a national holiday to give thanks.

Sally Brown:
[to Charlie Brown] Isn't he the cutest thing?

Linus van Pelt:
What are you going to do on Thanksgiving, Charlie Brown?

Charlie Brown:
My mother and dad, and Sally and I are all going to my grandmother's for dinner.

Sally Brown:
Why don't you come along, Linus? We can hold hands under the table.

Linus van Pelt:
Blah.

[after singing "Over the River and Through the Woods to Grandmother's House We Go"]

Charlie Brown:
Well, there's only one thing wrong with that.

Linus van Pelt:
What's that, Charlie Brown?

Charlie Brown:
My grandmother lives in a condominium.

Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt:
You're holding my hand, Chuck, you sly dog.

Marcie:
He's all yours, Priscilla.

Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt:
Priscilla?

Charlie Brown:
Priscilla?

Linus van Pelt:
In the year 1621, the Pilgrims held their first Thanksgiving feast. They invited the great Indian chief Massasoit, who brought ninety of his brave Indians and a great abundance of food. Governor William Bradford and Captain Miles Standish were honored guests. Elder William Brewster, who was a minister, said a prayer that went something like this: 'We thank God for our homes and our food and our safety in a new land. We thank God for the opportunity to create a new world for freedom and justice."

Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt:
Amen.

Sally Brown:
What's the matter, big brother?

Charlie Brown:
Nothing. I was just checking the mailbox.

Sally Brown:
What did you expect, a turkey card?

Charlie Brown:
Holidays always depress me.

Sally Brown:
I know what you mean. I went down to buy a turkey tree and all they have are things for Christmas.

Charlie Brown:
For Christmas? Already?

Sally Brown:
Anyway, why should I give thanks on Thanksgiving? What have I got to be thankful for? All it does is make more work for us at school.

Charlie Brown:
I can't cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast.

Linus van Pelt:
That's right. I've seen you make toast. You can't butter it, but maybe we can help you.

Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt:
What kind of Thanksgiving dinner is this? Where's the turkey, Chuck? Don't you know anything about Thanksgiving dinners? Where's the mashed potatoes? Where's the cranberry sauce? Where's the pumpkin pie?

Marcie:
Don't feel bad, Chuck. Peppermint Patty didn't mean all those things she said. Actually, she really likes you.

Charlie Brown:
I don't feel bad for myself; I just feel bad because I ruined everyone's Thanksgiving.

Marcie:
But Thanksgiving is more than eating, Chuck. You heard what Linus was saying out there. Those early Pilgrims were thankful for what had happened to them, and we should be thankful, too. We should just be thankful for being together. I think that's what they mean by 'Thanksgiving,' Charlie Brown.

Sally Brown:
Do you know what we have to do? We have to write an essay on Stanley Miles.

Charlie Brown:
You mean Miles Standish.

Sally Brown:
I can't keep track of all those names.

[first lines]

Lucy van Pelt:
[holding football] Charlie Brown! Oh, Charlie Brown!

Charlie Brown:
I can't believe it. She must think I'm the most stupid person alive.

Lucy van Pelt:
Come on, Charlie Brown. I'll hold the ball and you kick it.

Charlie Brown:
Hold it? Ha! You'll pull it away and I'll land flat on my back and kill myself.

Lucy van Pelt:
But Charlie Brown, it's Thanksgiving.

Charlie Brown:
What's that got to do with anything?

Lucy van Pelt:
Well, one of the greatest traditions we have is the Thanksgiving Day football game. And the biggest, most important tradition of all is the kicking off of the football.

Charlie Brown:
Is that right?

Lucy van Pelt:
Absolutely. Come on, Charlie Brown. It's a big honor for you.

Charlie Brown:
Well, if it's that important, a person should never turn down a big honor. Maybe I *should* do it. Besides, she wouldn't try to trick me on a traditional holiday. This time I'm gonna kick that football clear to the moon!

[he runs to kick the ball, but Lucy pulls it away]

Charlie Brown:
Aaauuugh!

[falls flat on his back]

Lucy van Pelt:
Isn't it peculiar, Charlie Brown, how some traditions just slowly fade away?

Linus van Pelt:
This is not unlike another famous Thanksgiving episode. Do you remember the story of John Alden, and Priscilla Mullins, and Captain Miles Standish?

Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt:
This isn't like that one at all.

Charlie Brown:
[after Snoopy and Woodstock accidently shoot Snoopy's rifle] Come on, Snoopy; we don't have any time for this playing around. The guests will be here pretty soon, so please get ready to help serve them.

[Snoopy sighs a martyred sigh]

Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt:
[appalled by Snoopy's Thanksgiving dinner] What's this? A piece of toast? A pretzel stick? Popcorn? What blockhead cooked all this?

Marcie:
You were kind of rough on Charlie Brown, weren't you, sir?

Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt:
Rough? Look at this! Is this what you call a Thanksgiving day dinner? Did we come across town for this? We're supposed to be served a real Thanksgiving dinner!

Marcie:
Now wait a minute, sir. Did he invite you here to dinner, or did you invite yourself, and us, too?

Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt:
Gee, I never thought of it like that. You think I hurt ole Chuck's feelings? I bet I hurt his feelings, huh? Golly, why can't I act right outside of a baseball game? [short pause] Marcie, maybe you could go to ole Chuck and patch things up for me. Maybe you can tell him how I really feel. Tell him I didn't mean it the way it sounded. Marcie, you can do it. You go and see him and tell him I really like it and I think the dinner's okay with me.

Marcie:
Well, I don't know, but I'll try. I think maybe you should go to Chuck and tell him yourself.

Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt:
No, Marcie, I'll just ruin everything. You know I'm too brusque and rough. You go and speak for me.

Marcie:
Well, okay.

Charlie Brown:
Good grief, it's 4 o'clock! We're supposed to be at grandmother's house for Thanksgiving by 4:30. I'd better talk to her and explain my dilemma.

Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt:
[as Snoopy places the fake Thanksgiving dinner on the table] Are we going to have a prayer? It's Thanksgiving, you know. [to Charlie Brown] Before we're served, shouldn't we say grace?

Marcie:
What are we going to wear to this big Thanksgiving party, sir? What time do we go?

Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt:
Well kid, I'm gonna go like this. Ole Chuck is pretty cool about dates. He always wears that striped shirt of his.

Franklin:
I just talked to Charlie Brown. He said dinner would be served a little earlier.

Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt:
Great, we're ready.

Franklin:
You think I should wear a tie?

Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt:
No, you can go as you are, Franklin. I don't think Chuck'll mind. Besides, he didn't say it was formal.

Charlie Brown:
[after getting off the phone with Peppermint Patty for the third time] I think I'm losing control of the whole world.

[hangs up the phone]

Linus van Pelt:
*Now* what's wrong?

Charlie Brown:
Now she's bringing Franklin, too. Peppermint Patty's invited herself, Marcie, and Franklin over for Thanksgiving dinner. And I'm not even going to be home. I'm going to be at my grandmother's.

Linus van Pelt:
Why don't you just call her back and explain it to her?

Charlie Brown:
You can't explain anything to Peppermint Patty because you never get to say anything. I'm doomed. Three guests for Thanksgiving, and I'm not even going to be home. Peppermint Patty will hate me for the rest of my life.