A Fine Romance

Harry:
[to Mike and Laura] I like you two. You're odd.

Laura Dalton:
[Mike stares at Laura's pajamas] I have a nightie, but it's in the wash.

Mike Selway:
No, no, they're fine. I think they're very, uh, very dinky.

Laura Dalton:
Dinky?

Mike Selway:
It's not my day for words, is it?

Laura Dalton:
Oh, Mike, it doesn't matter.

Mike Selway:
Well it does, because just for once I'd like to say something that was right.

Laura Dalton:
Why?

Mike Selway:
Because you'd like me to.

Laura Dalton:
Look, if you can get by without the sheer black nightie, I can get by without the words. [They kiss] Nobody got hurt.

Mike Selway:
[Laughing nervously] No.

Mike Selway:
You've been crying.

Laura Dalton:
No, I have not.

Mike Selway:
What's that water running down your face?

Laura Dalton:
I'm leaking.

Helen Barker:
[about Mike] He does wine-and-dine you sometimes, doesn't he?

Laura Dalton:
Oh, yes. Well, not exactly wine-and-dine me as lager-and-hamburger me.

Mike Selway:
You look younger since you've been sick.

Laura Dalton:
Perhaps that's the answer - vomit your wrinkles away.

[Laura is high on nitrous oxide from the dentist]

Laura Dalton:
Do you know where I'd like to go? Torquay.

Mike Selway:
No, not tonight.

Laura Dalton:
I knew a little dog in Torquay. He could hear perfectly well with his one ear.

Mike Selway:
You've got to have hope!

Mike Selway:
Let's, uh, let's talk about you. Helen said you were a linguist.

Laura Dalton:
Yes, I translate things. It's all pretty boring.

Mike Selway:
Oh, no, I'm sure it's not. What are you translating at the moment?

Laura Dalton:
A German textbook on urinary infections.

Helen Barker:
You know I've always envied your intelligence. Dad used to say, "Helen, you've got the beauty but your sister's got the brains."

Laura Dalton:
How *dare* you stand there in your Janet Reger underwear and tell me I'm cleverer than you are?

Helen Barker:
Well, you are!

Laura Dalton:
Well, I don't want to be cleverer than you are! I want to stand there in Janet Reger underwear!

Helen Barker:
Laura, do you practice conversation-killers like that?

Laura Dalton:
I don't have any small talk. I don't even have any medium talk. Just let me go round offering the sausages and I won't ever refer to them again as dead pigs.

Mike Selway:
You're not Women's Lib, are you?

Laura Dalton:
No! Well, not unless it suits me.

Mike Selway:
It's a knack, making something out of nothing, and I haven't got it.

Laura Dalton:
You weren't looking for a contradiction, were you?

Laura Dalton:
I don't like obscene telephone calls, so I'm going to hang up now, because if I go on any longer this is going to become one.

Saleslady:
I definitely think Madam would turn heads.

Laura Dalton:
People asphyxiating usually do. It's no good, I've got to get out of it. And bring your crowbar.