A Good Band Is Easy to Kill

Eli Crews:
We got bananas in Arizona!

Timothy Tunks:
In the end, Nathan, you're a f***ing cocksucker.

Timothy Tunks:
[about why he'd rather sleep with tour opener John Vanderslice as opposed to a member of Beulah] The actual act of coitus might not be so great, but I bet he'd cuddle like a motherf***er.

Miles Kurosky:
F*** Bob Dylan!

Trey Garrett:
What do I do on tour? Drive a van. Help load equipment. Unload equipment. Eat fast food. Try not to spend any money. Smoke too many cigarettes. Occasionally drink too much beer. Hurry up and wait. Sell t-shirts, cds. Keep the groupies away from the band. And sleep - occasionally.

Katelyn Reader:
We've got Johnny Cash's dead body!

Bill Swan:
Don't backseat f***ing drive!

Miles Kurosky:
Your girlfriend will be there tomorrow, take her to the movies tomorrow. Go see Beulah tonight.

Miles Kurosky:
There's a bunch of hippies and they're learning how to cook hippie f***ing food.

Bill Swan:
Backstage with no door.

Pat Noel:
Backstage with no brains.