A Night to Remember

Jeff Troy aka Jeff Yort:
I was *scared* fifteen minutes ago; I'm petrified now!

Bolling:
Yeah, and you admit exchanging blows with him

Nancy Troy:
There was no exchange. Only two blows were struck. He struck my husband. My husband struck the floor.

Nancy Troy:
What are you doing?

Jeff Troy aka Jeff Yort:
Nothing.

Nancy Troy:
You're awful quiet!

Jeff Troy aka Jeff Yort:
That's cause I'm doing nothing.

Jeff Troy aka Jeff Yort:
You don't want a husband who's a coward, do you?

Nancy Troy:
I'm not particular. I just want a husband!

Nancy Troy:
Jeff, don't be a fool.

Jeff Troy aka Jeff Yort:
Don't be silly. I've always been.

Bolling:
[Looking a library shelves and reading titles aloud] Hey, look here, Somebody's been readin' up on murder. 'Murder in the Laundry,' 'Murder in the Post Office,' 'Murder on the Waharf,' 'Murder in the Chop Suey Restaurant!'

Inspector Hankins:
[Reading a title aloud] 'Murder in th Laudry' by Jeff Yorl.

Inspector Hankins:
[Accusatory] You said you were a novelist. You didn't by chance... uh?

Jeff Troy aka Jeff Yort:
Yeah, yeah, I wrote every one of them.

[Showing him the dust jacket]

Jeff Troy aka Jeff Yort:
Here, here! That's my name spelled backward. T-R-O-Y... Y-O-R-T... Y-O-R-T... T-R-O-Y. Do you get it?

Bolling:
Well, what more do we need, Inspector? This guy's got murder on the brain.

Jeff Troy aka Jeff Yort:
'Murder on the Brain?' Hey, that's a swell title!

Inspector Hankins:
Didn't you write a book called 'Murder on the Terrace?'

Jeff Troy aka Jeff Yort:
Yeah, it's right here. How'd you like it?

Inspector Hankins:
Well, as far as I can remener, It's the kind of detective story that knits.

Jeff Troy aka Jeff Yort:
Knits? Oh, yes, I know what you mean. It's all knitted together tight, and all the clues fall into place, eh?

Inspector Hankins:
No, I mean it knits, knite,

[gesturing with his hands]

Inspector Hankins:
K-N-I-T-S. You spell that backward too.

Jeff Troy aka Jeff Yort:
[Finally realizing he's being ridiculed] K-N-I-T-S... S-T-I-N-K-S! huh.

Nancy Troy:
[seeing a man standing menacingly behind her husband with a knife in his hand, she lets out a long, drawn-out moan]

Jeff Troy aka Jeff Yort:
If you're going to sing, darling, do it out loud!