About Alex

Josh:
I taught you all of Calc 21 and then you went off and did better than me on the exam; I'm not teaching you how to chop wood.

[Watching Kate arrive with Isaac]

Sarah:
Oh, she's hot.

Alex:
Your b*obs are bigger.

Sarah:
That's not true! That's not true!

Josh:
The only thing I hate more than the present is nostalgia for the past.

Isaac:
So, what are we making, Sarah?

Sarah:
We are making chilled watermelon soup and sea scallop risotto.

Josh:
What? What are we making again?

Sarah:
I'm sorry, can you do something helpful?

Josh:
Did you say risotto?

Sarah:
Can you please do something helpful?

Josh:
The joint is not going to roll itself, Sarah. And I am making a magical appetizer dish that is going to make your risotto taste so much better.

Josh:
Let me tell you something about Bruce Springsteen, okay? Never trust anyone who is that passionate about the state of New Jersey.

Josh:
Alex, where did you get these records? I feel like I'm at a garage sale.

Alex:
I bought them at a garage sale.

Alex:
[as Ben greets Alex arriving home from the hospital]... Don't tell me we're having a party in honor of my suicide.

Ben:
Attempted suicide. Jeez, if it were a suicide, we'd both be wearing suits.

Sarah:
You know what i want? I want you to have acted like my boyfriend seven years ago. taken me to a movie, bought me a f***ing ice cream cone. That's what i want. Instead of being the guy who permanently f***ed up my expectations for normalcy in a relationship. the guy that made me explain to my mom "No, Josh isn't my boyfriend, he's just someone that sleeps with me when he comes home pining for my best friend to drunk to see straight."