Acorn Antiques: The Musical

Miss Babs:
You can't say "gypsy" anymore Mrs O, it's very politically incorrect!

Mr. Clifford:
I'll handle this. I have a scrotum.

Bo Beaumont:
Get a whiff of that. Nothing more irresistable than the smell of a mature woman's macaroon.

Bo Beaumont:
And for only ?2 more, I got some multi-vitamin-and-truth-drug capsules, and a lemon-and-lime reusable gusset freshener.

Donna:
I'm used to the high-life! These tights cost ?9!

Donna:
You never mind Noel. That shirt-lifter.

Miss Babs:
Mrs Overall can't have gotten far. That's one of the blessings of osteoporosis.

Bo Beaumont:
Next thing, she's off to Bermuda with a suitcase full of provocative skanties! If she'd stuck to a lattice jam tartlet and a Vimto, all this could've been avoided!

Bo Beaumont:
It was wartime! There was a rubber shortage. We tried painting condoms on with gravy browning, but they wasn't 100% effective.

Donna:
Piles, though your arse is aching...

Bo Beaumont:
I'm a Brummie - that's God's way of making you live in Birmingham!