Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog

Dr. Robotnik:
I hate that hedgehog!

Dr. Robotnik:
Duh, I think I hate that hedgehog, but I'm not sure.

Sonic:
Here are three ways for you to be very smart: 1. Stay in school; 2. Stay in school; 3. Follow rules 1 and 2.

Sonic:
Gotta speed, Keed!

Sonic:
Okay Vern, it's time to burn!

Sonic:
Gotta blow, Joe!

Sonic:
Gotta stryde, Clyde!

Sonic:
You got it ace, let's race!

Grounder:
I put my head back on for this?

Scratch:
Oh shut up! At least yours is SUPPOSED to be detachable!

Grounder:
I think I'm going to be sick to my stomach.

Scratch:
We don't have stomachs!

Grounder:
Okay, then I think I'm going to be sick to my transmission.

[throws a couple chili dogs]

Sonic:
Catch some heartburn on us!

[repeated line]

Sonic:
I'm waiting!

[repeated line]

Sonic:
Up... over... and gone!

Sonic:
We're up, over and... and what was *that*?

Scratch:
Grounder, you're as dumb as a rock!

Grounder:
Metamorphic, igneous or sedimentary?

Scratch:
Dimwitaraenteous!

Sonic:
Bite my dust, buster.

Dr. Robotnik:
I'm waaaiting! Hmmm, now where have I heard that line before?

Grounder:
Gee, it's small for an ultimate weapon.

Scratch:
That's not the weapon, Dim-Dim! That's just the remote control!

Grounder:
I knew that.

[the robots are dressing up as a gorilla]

Scratch:
How come I have to be on the bottom?

Grounder:
Cause your scrawny legs fit the costume.

Coconuts:
And I'm the brains of this operation. Brains to body - forward march.

[they all fall]

Scratch:
Grounder, I think I'm sitting on our brains.

Dr. Robotnik:
Do you two realize what an evil genius I am?

Scratch:
You are evil-geniusly to make me, your maliciousness.

Grounder:
And eviler and geniuser to realize you could do better and make me.

Sonic:
Right now, the only thing bigger than Tails' appetite is his stomach.

Sonic:
You know? I sure have fun.

Dr. Robotnik:
I've really outdone myself this time. Remind me to give myself the medal for excellence in supreme rotten-ness.

Scratch:
Didn't you just give yourself that award last week?

Dr. Robotnik:
Well, think up a better one then!

Sonic:
Way to go, little bro!

Tails:
Look, Sonic! We're catching up!

Sonic:
That's the key to speed, keed!

Sonic:
You don't really think this is going to slow me down, do you?

Grounder:
Yeah, I do!

Sonic:
[imitates buzzer] Wrong answer!

Sonic:
Eat our dust, Coconuts!

Tails:
I'm so hungry I could eat our dust!

Dr. Robotnik:
I'll need something very tiny.

Scratch:
How about Grounder's brain?

Grounder:
Very funny.

Sonic:
I'll make you famous like I did with Arnold Schwartzenegermaggerbah.

Sonic:
It's everything you've ever dreamed of in a luxury car... except of course for this steering wheel.

Sonic:
You did good, pal. You sure packed away a lot of junk food there.

Tails:
Yeah, I know.

Professor:
Thanks for saving me, Tails

Tails:
Hey, no problem. All in a night's work. [Tails' stomach rumbles, and he belches] I guess I need something to settle my stomach.

Tails:
We'll watch your kids. Sonic just loves hanging out with the babes.

Sonic:
That's babes as in girls, not crying, drooling, hair pulling kids. I don't know the first thing about babies.

Tails:
What's there to know? I mean you used to be one right?

[first lines]

Dr. Robotnik:
[shouts] Nincombots! Metal Morons! Idiots! Robotic rejects! Seditious slabs of insalubrious circuitry! You.. You... You... Nincombots!

Scratch:
Excuse me, your viciousness, you already said that.

Dr. Robotnik:
Then allow me to repeat myself yet again. [shouts] You are Nincombots!

[first line]

Sonic the Hedgehog:
Enough traveling for today Tails, time to set up camp. [Sonic gets out a cooker, a fridge, a table, some chairs and a frying pan]

Dr. Robotnik:
Snooping as usual, I see!

[first lines]

Scratch:
Yessiree, Dr. Robotnik's really outdone himself this time!

[laughs]

Grounder:
Yeah, this new Electro-suction Plate is going to stop that hyperactive hedgehog for good!

[Scratch and Grounder stop running]

Dr. Robotnik:
Yes, my electro-suction plate is truly a marvel of evil engineering. But nothing will ever compare to my belovedly exquisite Egg-o-matic hover craft. [starts kissing it; phone rings] What do you want? [pause] I'm on my way, Scratch. Ha ha ha ha, you're mine now you glorified porcupine. [engine won't start] Ooh, I forgot to have it tuned up. Oh well, I'll do it when I get back. [engine starts, back fires, flies away]

Dr. Robotnik:
[line of stone dominoes fall in his direction] My precious Egg-o-matic hover craft! [jumps in; engine won't start; stones crush him] I hate that hedgehog!

Grounder:
The Speed-a-mint Gum's gotta be here somewhere.

Scratch:
[reaches inside a hole in a tree Grounder crashed into earlier] Haha, I think I found it. It's gooey, icky, nasty *and* sticky!

Grounder:
Heheh, I did chew it up real good.

Scratch:
[pulls his hand out of the tree] Sap.

Grounder:
I am not!

Scratch:
No! Sap!

Grounder:
Stop calling me that!

Scratch:
It's sap from the tree! I'm not calling YOU a sap.

Grounder:
You're not?

Scratch:
No! I'm calling you an idiot!

Grounder:
Oh Scratch, you're so sweet.

Sonic:
You don't wanna show off.

Tails:
But you show off.

Sonic:
Um, only while I'm doin' good.

Dr. Robotnik:
I'm going to give you a tip.

Grounder, Scratch:
Oh goody!

[They hold out their hands]

Dr. Robotnik:
The tip is, always buy new shoes in the middle of the day after your feet have expanded.

Scratch:
Um, I'll try to remember that.

Grounder:
Me too, if I ever get feet.

Old man:
Can you help us?

Sonic:
Do blue hedgehogs wear red sneakers?

Scratch:
We'll get it back, we promise.

Dr. Robotnik:
Don't give me that. You were programmed to break promises!

Scratch:
We possess it.

Grounder:
Better than that, we got it right here.

Dr. Robotnik:
Coconuts! I was bamboozled by Sonic and it's all your fault.

Coconuts:
What are you talking about? I wasn't even there.

Dr. Robotnik:
Shut up! I'm in charge, I can blame whoever I want!

Dr. Robotnik:
R-R-Robotnik, R-R-Robotnik, R-R-Rah, R-R-Rah, R-R-Rah!

Sonic:
Oh no, we've been suckered by a super-sucking vacuum trap!

Sonic:
[Sonic Says segment] Kids, there's nothing more cool than being hugged by someone you like. But if someone tries to touch you in a place or a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, that's no good! It's your body - no-one has the right to touch you if you don't want them to. So what do you do? First, you say no. Then you get out of there. Most Important ya gotta tell someone you trust, like your parents, your teacher, a police officer!

[has just broken free of Robotnik's mind control]

MacHopper:
I'm free!

Dr. Robotnik:
Of course you're free, I never pay any of my minions.

Tails:
[about to take out a time bomb with a mallet] I'll take care of this!

Sonic:
No! The shock will set it off!

[Tails whacks down the mallet, but then realized he hit Sonic's foot]

Tails:
[on the verge of tears] I'm sorry.

Sonic:
I'm just glad you missed... the bomb, that is.

[first lines]

Grounder:
Huh great, nothing like a few sneeze bombs to clear out a village, ay Scratch?

Scratch:
[blows his nose on a tissue] Arr... much better.

Grounder:
Robotnik gave you sinuses? He didn't give me sinuses!

Scratch:
I know... Sneeze bombs away!

Captain Rescue:
I was saving lives even before you were a little hedgehoglette!

Scratch:
WE ARE GOING TO DIE! WE ARE GOING TO DIE! [the truck goes off a cliff and crashes]... WE ARE DEAD!

Coconuts:
Ninja! Ninja! Ninja!

Dr. Robotnik:
Gesundheit.

Coconuts:
No! Not "sneeze"! Ninjas!

[first lines]

Grounder:
Oh Scratch, Sonic's not gonna fall for that free chilidog routine again!

Scratch:
This is different, he will be expecting us to attack like we always do... but we gonna hit him with a ton of bricks anyway. [Scratch and Grounder laughs]

[last lines]

Sonic the Hedgehog:
[Puts on Crane's Chinese hat] One chilidog on the hedgehog beats 3 on the plate. Come on, I show you. [Sonic running off screen leaving the hat behind]

Grounder:
Dr. Robotnik, Scratch made you something special for breakfast.

Dr. Robotnik:
Let me guess, Eggs-Mobius. [Grounder shakes his head no] Chocolate covered hard-boiled eggs? [Grounder shakes his head again] Canary omlette? [Grounder shakes his head for the third time] WELL, WHAT THEN ?

Grounder:
Hot cakes!

Dr. Robotnik:
Hot cakes? Isn't that nice. You know what I like with my hot cakes? [grabs Scratch around the neck]

Scratch:
What?

Dr. Robotnik:
CHOPPED CHICKEN BRAINS! [bangs the meal cover on top of Scratch's head, Grounder laughs about it] Think that's funny, huh? You know what I like with my chicken brains? [Grounder shakes his head in fear] Fried eggs.

Grounder:
[sighs in relief] For a minute there, I thought you were going to say 'Fried robot brains'.

Dr. Robotnik:
No, that's what I cook my fried eggs on. [removes Grounder's apron, sets the stove dial on him to high, burning his toque, bangs a frying pan on top of his frying head] NOW GET ME MY EGGS!

Miles 'Tails' Prower:
I'm only 4 and a half years old, I don't know how to write yet.

Sonic:
Aw, c'mon buddy. After lunch we'll go and get you a real pet.

Tails:
Really? You mean a wild rock eating gunderthork?

Sonic:
Uh... I was thinking more like a goldfish. But we'll talk.

[in a mocking singsong]

Sonic:
La la laa, stalling for time, / La la laa, stalling for time. / La la laa...

[first lines]

Mrs. Saccarin:
And now children, it's story time.

[last lines]

[Sonic pops out of The Adventures of Sonic book]

Sonic the Hedgehog:
Every story must end, even this one but it's no fairy tale to say see ya soon for more Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog. [winks at camera]

Dr. Robotnik:
You lost my rocket ship, you let the hedgehog foil my plans again, and NOW YOU'RE RUNNING UP MY LONG DISTANCE BILL!

Dr. Robotnik:
We have a launch.

Grounder:
Already? I haven't even had breakfast yet.

Sonic:
[dressed as a cop] Let me speak to the driver.

Grounder:
I'm not driving. He is!

Scratch:
No I'm not.

Sonic:
Driving without a driver? Now you're really in for it.

[first lines]

Dr. Robotnik:
He's out there still! Mocking me with his scurrilous speed! Standing between me and my dream of total domination of Mobius! [Scratch turns on the light]

Scratch:
Are you talking about Sonic?

Dr. Robotnik:
[shouts] Turn off that light! Can't you see I'm brooding?

Scratch:
Oh, yeah! Sorry. [switches off the light]

Dr. Robotnik:
That's better.

[first lines]

Miles 'Tails' Prower:
Hey Sonic! Wait up!

Tails:
[disguised as a police officer] Driving a vehicle over the speed limit inside a building? That's gonna cost you too!

Grounder:
Oh no! How much for that?

Tails:
Five, maybe ten years.

[Scratch picks up Tails]

Grounder:
Scratch! He's an officer!

Scratch:
Ever see an officer with two tails?

Grounder:
The fox brat! I knew that.

Scratch:
You did not! Without me, you don't know anything!

[first lines]

Miles 'Tails' Prower:
[flying away from Grounder] He's gonna get me! [Tails sees Grounder, does a wild take and reverse to the other direction]

Sonic:
Why'd you wanna live with those guys, anyway? You're not a bird.

Tails:
I'm not? But I can fly. Hm. Maybe I'm a bug.

Sonic:
Get out of here, Tails.

Miles 'Tails' Prower:
No, I wanna stay and help.

Sonic:
Look, if you don't get out, I'll tell everyone your real name is Miles.

Miles 'Tails' Prower:
[panicked] No! Not that! [races out]

Dr. Robotnik:
I'll have to give myself a pr-r-romotion.

Dr. Robotnik:
It's your fault, you bumbling metalheads! I never should have made you, you make me sick!

Sonic:
[during a fight with Robotnik] Get outta here, Tails!

Tails:
I wanna stay and help!

Sonic:
You get out of here right now, or I'll tell everyone your real name is Miles.

Tails:
No! No that!

[Tails exits quickly]

Grounder:
[making a series of rude noises to throw Da Bearz off the trail] Urp... Urp... Thbthbthbthhhhb!

Dr. Robotnik:
For Grounder's sake, that better have been a wrong number!

Tails:
Wow. What's Robotnik gonna do with all these bombs?

Sonic:
Nothing, because we're gonna make sure he doesn't get 'em by bringing this train to a screeching halt!

Grounder:
[as his phone rings] Psst. Scratch! It's the Robotnik Hotline!

Bear:
What'd you say? What was that?

Grounder:
My tummy rumbling?

Bear:
That's the strangest tummy rumbling I ever heard!

Scratch:
Not really. It always sounds like that when Tails eats onion rings.

Tails:
Nyah, nyah! You can't catch me!

Grounder:
And why not?

Tails:
You're slow, you're ugly, you're stupid...

Scratch:
Yeah, right! Let's get him anyway!

[Scratch and Grounder miss Tails and hit a wall]

Tails:
But you run into walls real good!

[first lines]

Professor Von Schlemmer:
You already forced me to tell you how to build my invention, Dr. Robotnik. Now let me go! Or, you go and I'll stay here.

Dr. Robotnik:
Stop blabbering professor! I'm not releasing you until I'm sure your machine works!

Sonic:
[scene after Professor Von Schlemmer's Humungo Gizmo explodes. Tails has eaten about 20 plates of chili dogs. He goes towards an ice cream parlor for some dessert. But then, a cloud of orange dust appears in the city] Hey, what's that?

Knotwurst:
Mayor of Weinerville.: [German accent] Hmmm. Strangest looking cloud I've ever seen.

Tails:
I'll start out with a triple decker cone, then you'll see some major munching. [the cloud of dust drifts down onto Tails. Tails coughs and when the dust clears... he is growing at a slow rate] Hey. What's happening? [a few seconds later, he's looming over some buildings] Hey, the buildings are getting smaller.

Sonic:
[running towards Tails] No. The buildings are the same. It's you. Something is haywire little buddy. Why are you getting taller?

Tails:
[Tails now is 30 feet tall] Yeah, I am! All right! [Growth stops when he's 50 feet tall, looks straight down at Sonic, who's right in front of his foot] I don't like this anymore, Sonic. Do something. I'm scared.

Sonic:
Don't worry, little buddy! I'll figure somthing out!

Tails:
My appetite's getting bigger. I'm so hungry, I can't stand it. [Grins and picks up an ice cream parlor and tosses it into his mouth and swallows it] Do something, Sonic! I can't stop eating! I gotta split before it hurts somebody. [Crushes some buildings with one foot as he starts walking off, all the Weinerville citizens start running in different directions]

Sonic:
Don't worry! I'll think of something! I hope.

Sonic:
And the grand prize [dashes over to a car]... a once brand new Etzel Delorian! [Grounder and Scratch eagerly hop in and start it] Yes, folks, it's everything you ever dreamed of in a luxury car. [They hit the gas and speed forward off the screen, then he pulls out a steering wheel] Except of course for the steering wheel.

Scratch:
[offscreen] Oh, turn left, you idiot!

Grounder:
[offscreen] I can't, I can't!

Scratch:
[offscreen] Watch out! [there's a sound of breaks screeching, followed by a crash, which Sonic looks away from for a moment]

Dr. Robotnik:
This isn't my sport, how about some tiddlywinks?

Dr. Robotnik:
[after being shocked that Coconuts comes near the bathroom unannounced] AAHHH! You lame-brrrained, knuckle-drrragging dork! How dare you interrupt me when I'm having a bath with my rrrubber crrrocodile!