Airheads

Ian:
The Lone Rangers? That's original. How can you pluralize "The Lone Ranger"?

Rex:
We're gonna take the cops up on those demands they wanted.

Pip:
We got a killer list goin'.

Rex:
Yeah, check it out. We ask for airplay and whatever else we want, then we demand a whole bunch of weird stuff. This way we can plead insanity later.

Chazz:
Where'd this come from?

Rex:
Pip's idea.

Chazz:
Way to go, Pip.

Rex:
67 copies of "Moby Dick".

Suzzi:
The movie or the book?

Rex:
They made a book outta that?

Milo:
You're gonna scream "Rock and Roll"? You're gonna go to jail for that?

Ian:
There's a saying Milo: If it's too loud, you're too old.

Marcus:
"Rodney King"? What's that supposed to mean?

Pip:
He's that guy.

Chazz:
Who'd win in a wrestling match, Lemmy or God?

Chris Moore:
Lemmy.

Chris Moore:
... God?

Rex:
Wrong, d*ckhead, trick question. Lemmy *IS* God.

Chazz:
We got to send one person out.

Pip:
I'll go.

Rex:
One of the hostages, doof.

Milo:
Ahhhhh. You're screwing on my $1500 couch.

Rex:
Ohhh. Pip, put the monster away.

Pip:
Man, Chazz is right. All we gotta do is make our own action, y'know?

Rex:
That's the way it is, little bro. Do you think Tommy Lee sat around and waited for the bus? Man, he hustled. That's how come he gets to live in the Hills and pork Heather Locklear.

Ian:
Okay, who are you guys?

Pip:
My name's Pip.

Ian:
The band. The band name.

Pip:
Sorry about that.

Ian:
He doesn't wear a helmet, does he?

Rex:
We've got all kinds of beer and sh*t in here.

Ian:
Well, there's three of you. You're not exactly lone. Shouldn't you be the Three Rangers?

Marcus:
Milo, didn't I tell you to knock when you come to my office?

Milo:
Just keep quiet and get that reel-to-reel deck down to the booth.

Marcus:
Oh, gonna tell me to shut up now? Uh-huh, uh-huh. See, a brother can't open his mouth without the white man slap him down.

Milo:
Just do it, Marcus.

Marcus:
Damn.

Pip:
Yeah, but remember that fat kid on "Hard Copy" with a toy gun. The cops zapped him with a taser until he went bald.

Chazz:
And then he sued them for a million bucks when his pubes didn't grow in.

Pip:
Still got no hair on his balls, man.

Chazz:
Yvonne, get your sh*t and go. You'll be home in time for The Simpsons.

Chazz:
For all you care, our record could be Pip farting on a snare drum.

Pip:
I ain't fartin' on no snare drum.

Suzzi:
All those blowj*bs for nothing...

Chazz:
Okay, lemme ask you a question: who's side did you take in the big David Lee Roth-Van Halen split?

Chris Moore:
What?

Marcus:
What kind of question is that?

Chazz:
Who's side did you take: Halen or Roth?

Chris Moore:
...Van Halen

Ian:
HE'S A COP!

Milo:
Alright I know you guys think I'm a dick... cheese... burger, or whatever.

Jimmie Wing:
Bea Arthur?... Outstanding.