Amish My Wife

Dan Filbert:
That's the thing, honey. That's junk mail. It's not to anyone? Like the e-mails and the penis pills...

Alexis Filbert:
Did you try them?

Dan Filbert:
Did I- No. No I didn't, we didn't. I just wanted to say that maybe this is all moving a little... fast, you know? Maybe we should, I dunno, ease you into the internet thing. Too much freedom at once...

Alexis Filbert:
Dan, what are you talking about? I'm becoming the woman I always wanted to be! I'm a Champion! I'm a doctor! I'm a mature, non-Amish lady!

Dan Filbert:
But maybe...

Alexis Filbert:
I am a shooting star! I am an independent woman!

Dan Filbert:
I know, but...

Alexis Filbert:
I'm friends with BARACK OBAMA... on FACEBOOK.

Dan Filbert:
What? You can't...

Alexis Filbert:
Yes we can!

Dan Filbert:
I'm not saying that you...

Alexis Filbert:
YES WE CAN!

Dan Filbert:
I know! I know! I just thought that maybe you wouldn't...

Alexis Filbert:
Learn so quickly? I don't need you to oppress me, DAN. I have the whole world right here in this little computer. This laptop computer. The whole world! I have SEVEN FACEBOOK friends... SEVEN!

Alexis Filbert:
I'm NOT Amish anymore! You can't tell ME what to do! I know how to work... a BLENDER!

Svetlana:
I'm Svetlana! So happy wife to be yours!

Dan Filbert:
It's gonna be okay.