An Uzi at the Alamo

[first lines]

Alec Thames:
Over 160 years ago, Mexican general Sante, launched a successful attack against the American frontiers-men at this very place. A place that to this very day, remains one of our most revered historical landmarks. Taco Bell.

Alec Thames:
I guess how I feel is like the guy who didn't cross the line-in-the sand at the Alamo. You see, shortly before the Mexicans invaded for the third time, William Travis drew a line in the sand, and instructed that all that were willing to die should cross that line. All that weren't, were told to gather their things and go home. Well it turned out that only one guy didn't cross. I understand that guy. I wouldn't have crossed that line either. Because, for some reason, I wouldn't be willing to die for something. But yet I'm completely satisfied to die for absolutely nothing. That's why I'm going to kill myself on my 25th birthday.

Alec Thames:
So, what is it exactly you do for my dad, anyway?

Nicholas:
[Russian accent] I'm in charge of the fudge packing.

Alec Thames:
So now here I am. My paradise *not* lost, just simply misplaced. Alright, I don't know what the hell that means. But what I'm trying to say is, I've lived on this street my entire life, and I've never once walked to the record store this way. And while it's probably much faster this way, I don't know, I sort of just figure there's nothing around here worth while. And then from out of nowhere, well from two houses down from my own - there she was.