Another Year

Mary:
You can't go around with a big sign saying don't fall in love with me I'm married.

Tom:
Well, most people wear a ring.

Mary:
Well he didn't.

Mary:
On a scale of one to ten, how happy would you say you are, Janet?

Janet:
One.

Mary:
One. I think there's room for improvement there, don't you?

[first lines]

Tanya:
So how long's this been going on for?

Janet:
I don't know.

Tanya:
A few weeks?

Janet:
A long time.

Tanya:
A year?

Janet:
I Suppose so.

Tanya:
A whole year? You've taken your time to come and see me, haven't you?

Katie:
I went to a college in Croydon.

Mary:
[in an intimidating manner] Which College in Croydon?

Katie:
[responding awkwardly]... The Croydon College.

Tom:
The aptly named!

Mary:
I'm very much a glass-half-full kind of girl. But it's tricky, because... I meet these older men who want somebody younger, and that's great, because I fit the bill. But... when they find out that... you know, I'm not as young as they thought, they don't want to know. My looks work against me.

Gerri:
Life's not always kind, is it?

Mary:
No, it isn't Gerri.

Ken:
Young people, young people. Everything's for young people. Those bars, you know, they're full of young people shouting about nothing.

Gerri:
What is the one thing that will improve your life apart from sleeping?

Janet:
Different life.

Tom:
I seem to remember you got banned from a number of pubs in Hull for shouting about nothing when you were a young person.

Ken:
[retelling the event] "Ken, we like you. You're a good bloke, you're good on the darts, but if you talk about politics again, you're barred!". [both burst into laughter]

Mary:
But he wasn't a bad person. He loved me.

Tom:
Sounds to me that he was a duplicitous sh*t.

Tom:
Alright, I dig holes.

Katie:
That's just calling a spade a spade, isn't it ?

Gerri:
I always call it a shovel.

Tom:
You call it a fork. I call it a trailer-mounted tripod cable percussive boring unit.

Gerri:
That's why I love him.