Apartment

Doctor Dreyfuss:
Be a mensch!

Fran Kubelik:
Shall I light the candles?

C.C. Baxter:
It's a must! Gracious living-wise.

C.C. Baxter:
The mirror... it's broken

Fran Kubelik:
Yes, I know. I like it that way. Makes me look the way I feel.

J.D. Sheldrake:
Ya know, you see a girl a couple of times a week, just for laughs, and right away they think you're gonna divorce your wife. Now I ask you, is that fair?

C.C. Baxter:
No, sir, it's very unfair. Especially to your wife.

Fran Kubelik:
When you're in love with a married man you shouldn't wear mascara.

C.C. Baxter:
That's the way it crumbles... cookie-wise.

C.C. Baxter:
You hear what I said, Miss Kubelik? I absolutely adore you.

Fran Kubelik:
Shut up and deal.

C.C. Baxter:
On November 1st, 1959, the population of New York City was 8,042,783. If you laid all these people end to end, figuring an average height of five feet six and a half inches, they would reach from Times Square to the outskirts of Karachi, Pakistan. I know facts like this because I work for an insurance company - Consolidated Life of New York. We're one of the top five companies in the country. Our home office has 31,259 employees, which is more than the entire population of uhh... Natchez, Mississippi. I work on the 19th floor. Ordinary Policy Department, Premium Accounting Division, Section W, desk number 861.

C.C. Baxter:
Miss Kubelik, one doesn't get to be a second administrative assistant around here unless he's a pretty good judge of character, and as far as I'm concerned you're tops. I mean, decency-wise and otherwise-wise.

C.C. Baxter:
Ya know, I used to live like Robinson Crusoe. I mean shipwrecked among 8 million people. And then one day I saw a footprint in the sand and there you were.

Fran Kubelik:
Just because I wear a uniform doesn't make me a girl scout.

Margie MacDougall:
Night like this, it sorta spooks you, walking into an empty apartment.

C.C. Baxter:
I said I had no family; I didn't say I had an empty apartment.

Kirkeby:
Premium-wise and billing-wise, we are eighteen percent ahead of last year, October-wise.

Fran Kubelik:
What's a tennis racket doing in the kitchen?

C.C. Baxter:
Tennis racket? Oh, I remember, I was cooking myself an Italian dinner.

C.C. Baxter:
I use it to strain the spaghetti.

Fran Kubelik:
He's a taker.

C.C. Baxter:
A what?

Fran Kubelik:
Some people take, some people get took. And they know they're getting took and there's nothing they can do about it.