At Last the 1948 Show

Various Characters:
I've got a ferret sticking up my nose. How it got there I can't tell But now it's there it hurts like hell And what is more it radically affects my sense of smell. I've got a ferret sticking up my nose. I can almost stand the noise But at parties it destroys My hard-earned and carefully cultivated social poise. I've got a ferret sticking up my nose. "Ferrets don't explode," you say But it happened nine times yesterday And I should know for each time I was standing in the way. I've got a ferret sticking up my nose. I can stand it for a while Although it's absolutely vile It's not as bad as last week when I had a crocodile. I can see a bare-bottomed mandril. I really don't know what to do But if it jumps inside there too I shall be the proud posessor of a kind of nasal zoo. I've got a ferret sticking up my nose. How it got there I can't tell But now it's there it hurts like hell And what is more it radically affects... My sense of smell!

Various Characters:
[as undercover policeman] Do I 'ave to be Doris, sir? It's such a mousy name.

Various Characters:
Well, what would you prefer?

Various Characters:
Bubbles, sir.

Various Characters:
Bubbles? Well, Bubbles it is then.