Back by Midnight

Gloria Beaumont:
Well who the f*** fired you?

Gloria Beaumont:
[to Jake] I want you to be in charge of the prisons.

Eli Rockwood:
He can't, Jake was just...

Jake Puloski:
Fired!

Gloria Beaumont:
Who the *f**** fired you?

Gloria Beaumont:
For God's sake, don't spank my monkey.

Smitty:
I don't think the strippers and blow up dolls were such a good idea.

Jake Puloski:
You're right, next year we'll just get a karaoke machine.

Security Guard:
[seeing Princess on security camera with another dog] She's never done that before, especially on a first date.

Sheriff Hubbard:
I think I'm sitting on the stick shift.

Mile Away:
Uh, this is an automatic.