Banacek

Thomas Banacek:
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn.

Thomas Banacek:
Read the whole library, my son, but the cheese will still smell after four days.

Thomas Banacek:
Twelve good horses and silver candlesticks won't stop the snow from falling in Bialystock.

Thomas Banacek:
When your sleigh is being chased by wolves, throw them a raisin cookie, but don't stop to bake a cake.

Thomas Banacek:
A wolf that takes a peasant to supper probably won't need any breakfast.

Thomas Banacek:
Just because a dress is red satin doesn't mean it comes off easily.

Thomas Banacek:
A wise man never tries to warm himself in front of a painting of a fire.

Thomas Banacek:
When an owl comes to a mouse picnic, it's not there for the sack races.

Thomas Banacek:
No matter how warm the smile on the face of the sun, the cat still has her kittens under the porch.

Thomas Banacek:
Even though a man anoint himself with fragrant oils, he can still end up with a broken face.

Thomas Banacek:
The chicken that clucks the loudest is the one most likely to go to the Steamfitter's Picnic.

Thomas Banacek:
Only someone with nothing to be sorry about smiles back at the rear end of an elephant.

Thomas Banacek:
Though the hippopotamus has no sting on its tail, the wise man would still rather be sat on by a bee.

Thomas Banacek:
A duck with three wings and a loaf of bread is brother to the turkey.

[lead in to most Banacek quotes]

Thomas Banacek:
There's an old Polish proverb that says...

Thomas Banacek:
Even a thousand szloty note can't tapdance.

Thomas Banacek:
If your socks are not in your shoes, don't look for them in Heaven.

Thomas Banacek:
If you're not sure that it's potato borscht, there could be orphans working in the mines.

Thomas Banacek:
Only the centipede can hear all the one hundred steps of his uncle.

Thomas Banacek:
If the butterfly had teeth like the tiger, it would never make it out of the hanger.

Thomas Banacek:
It is harder for the spider to catch a fly than it is for the fly to catch a horse.

Linda Carsini:
What did you say your name was?

Thomas Banacek:
Banacek.

Linda Carsini:
One name, like... uh... Superman?

Carlie Kirkland:
Don't you like anything new?

Thomas Banacek:
You're new... at least to me.

Carlie Kirkland:
You know what I mean.

Thomas Banacek:
It's not a question of "old" or "new", it's a question of good or bad. We've got about, maybe, 10 years of "new". And thousands of years of "old".

Carlie Kirkland:
Meaning?

Thomas Banacek:
Well, the odds are there are more good "old" things than good "new" ones.

Thomas Banacek:
[to Jay Drury] There's an old Polish proverb that says, "When the wolf is chasing your sleigh, throw him a raisin cookie, but don't stop to bake a cake."

Thomas Banacek:
There's an old Polish proverb that says...

Gina:
Better safe than sorry?

Thomas Banacek:
Well, that's close. But the Polish version is, "A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn."

Desk Clerk:
No radio or TV playin' after 10 o'clock at night. No alcohol any time. And NO women-folk in the rooms. [pause] Enjoy your stay!

Thomas Banacek:
How?

Thomas Banacek:
There's an old Polish proverb that says: "The chicken that clucks the loudest is the one most likely to go to the steamfitters picnic."

Thomas Banacek:
[to John Hargroves] The chicken that clucks the loudest is the one most likely to go to the Steamfitter's Picnic.

Thomas Banacek:
[to Sally James] Only someone with nothing to be sorry about smiles back at the rear end of an elephant.

Carlie Kirkland:
Nobody just walks off with a computer!

Thomas Banacek:
[to Ed McKay] There's an old Polish proverb that says: "No matter how warm the smile on the face of the sun, the cat still has her kittens under the porch."

Thomas Banacek:
There's an old Polish proverb that says, "If you're not sure that it's potato borscht, there could be orphans working in the mines."

Video Technician:
Are you sure you got that straight?

Thomas Banacek:
It means; "What you don't know could hurt you a lot."

Thomas Banacek:
[to Conrad Janis] If you're not sure that it's potato borscht, there could be orphans working in the mines.

Thomas Banacek:
Twelve good horses and silver candlesticks won't stop the snow from falling in Bialystock. It's an old Polish saying.

Alicia Danato:
Is there an old Polish translation?

Thomas Banacek:
Well, I think it means there are some things money cannot buy.

Thomas Banacek:
There's on old Polish proverb that says, "Only the centipede can hear all the hundred footsteps of his uncle."

Jay Drury:
[chuckling] Yeah. Uh-oh.

Thomas Banacek:
What's the matter?

Jay Drury:
That's the first one of those things I ever understood.

Thomas Banacek:
Read the whole library my son, but the cheese will still smell after four days. That's an old Polish proverb.

Felix Mulholland:
Really? Well maybe it just takes an old Pole to understand it.

Thomas Banacek:
No. It means that no matter how much you know, natural laws are natural laws.

Thomas Banacek:
[to Tom Wardlow] There's an old Polish proverb that says: If the butterfly had teeth like the tiger, it would never make it out of the hanger.

Thomas Banacek:
[to Jay Drury] There's an old Polish proverb that says: It's harder for the spider to catch the fly, than for the fly to catch the horse.

Carlie Kirkland:
I do need your help... desperately. I'd be ever so grateful.

Felix Mulholland:
Are you asking me to betray a friendship?

Carlie Kirkland:
Nooo...

Felix Mulholland:
It's quite all right, you know. You just tell me what I have to do.

Jay Drury:
[to Jill, not realizing that Banacek is standing behind him] Did you hear the one about the Polish Olympic star who won a gold medal? He was so proud he had it bronzed!

Thomas Banacek:
There's an old Polish proverb that says... A wise man never tries to warm himself in front of a painting of a fire.

Henry DeWitt:
If God had meant us to travel by steamship, He would not have invented the Wright Brothers.

Carlie Kirkland:
Careful, Henry - you came dangerously near to making a joke.

Thomas Banacek:
[to Mario Fratelli] There's an old Polish proverb that says, "Even though a man anoint himself with fragrant oils, he can still wind up with a broken face."

Erica Osburn:
Are you surprised I'm here?

Thomas Banacek:
Not yet.

Thomas Banacek:
Now how could I prefer a past that didn't include you?

Thomas Banacek:
Not here?

Erica Osburn:
Any minute you'll turn on a Ravel tape or something.

Thomas Banacek:
Actually, I was going to propose first.

Thomas Banacek:
You don't look overweight.

Erica Osburn:
You've never seen me naked.

Thomas Banacek:
Not that I remember. And I imagine I would.

Erica Osburn:
You would.

Erica Osburn:
Somewhere you can check the results of my diet first hand?

Thomas Banacek:
Did I ask to get in your chopper?

Erica Osburn:
You could've.

Thomas Banacek:
Next time.

Thomas Banacek:
He looks like the cartoon on the soup can.

Erica Osburn:
He *is* the cartoon on the soup can. Would you like to meet him?

Thomas Banacek:
I've never met a real cartoon.

Thomas Banacek:
No offense, but do you always talk like that?

Cap'n Jack Osburn:
Like what?

Thomas Banacek:
Like a cross between Captain Ahab and Long John Silver's parrot.

Cap'n Jack Osburn:
Ha-ha, you've found me out, lad.

Thomas Banacek:
I do this for a living.

Henry DeWitt:
So do I. Can we get on with this?

Simson:
I was a history professor.

Thomas Banacek:
Why'd you quit?

Simson:
Well, history doesn't change, and I sure did.

Thomas Banacek:
She's an old friend from my non-protest period.

Erica Osburn:
You're disgusting.

Thomas Banacek:
I know.

Norman Esposito:
Don't say anything. He's just fishing.

Henry DeWitt:
Ten per cent of two million dollars for two days' work. That's damn near un-American.

Thomas Banacek:
It might even be un-Polish. But that's the way it goes.

Thomas Banacek:
There's an old Polish proverb that says:

Thomas Banacek:
When an owl comes to the mouse picnic, it's not there for the sack races.

Henry DeWitt:
How do you do it, Banacek?

Thomas Banacek:
Do what?

Henry DeWitt:
How do you convince a man like Mr. Morgan that you're a combination of the Scarlet Pimpernel, Humphrey Bogart, and Sherlock Holmes all rolled into one?

Thomas Banacek:
Elementary, my dear Fennyman, only you left out the Green Hornet.

Thomas Banacek:
[to Oliver and Roland Garson] A wolf that takes a peasant to supper probably won't need any breakfast.

The difference between a dream and a goal is a plan!

I have often quoted this myself but today I cannot find a reference (although I remembered this from the '70s.!)