Barefoot

Jay Wheeler:
Whats the matter?

Daisy Kensington:
You're standing on my toes...

Probation Officer:
[reading] Mr. Wheeler has continued to exhibit, through a series of offences, DUI, resisting arrest, criminal speeding, participation in unlicensed gaming, and now aggravated assault, that he is combative, disruptive and has a general disregard for simple rules and regulations. He also seems incapable of obeying the law.

Jay Wheeler:
Whoever wrote that just... just gets me.

Jay Wheeler:
Hey, don't you have somebody locked up in your basement that you need to go torture, or something like that?

Nurse Susan:
You're single because you're an a**hole.

Jay Wheeler:
Well, yeah, but an interesting and fun a**hole.

Daisy Kensington:
Why can't we just fly back on the plane?

Jay Wheeler:
Because I violated my probation and you're an escaped mental patient.

Daisy Kensington:
Is that bad?

Jay Wheeler:
Yeah, that's bad.

Jay Wheeler:
Basic human emotions are not my strong suit.

Jay Wheeler:
What did you do?

Daisy Kensington:
I threw his keys away

Jay Wheeler:
Why?

Daisy Kensington:
Cus if you go to jail, we can't be together

Jay Wheeler:
You are hardcore

Daisy Kensington:
I am

Daisy Kensington:
I can't eat this!

Jay Wheeler:
Why Not?

Daisy Kensington:
I think it's Fancy Feast!

[first lines]

Jay Wheeler:
[morning after] Hey. Hey, uh, listen, I'm gonna take off. Do you mind locking the door on the way out?

Pretty Twenty-Something:
You *aren't* going to buy me breakfast, are you?

Daisy Kensington:
That man offer me $100 for a handjob. I've never had a job!

Jay Wheeler:
Okay, you're gonna have to drive for a while.

Daisy Kensington:
I don't know how to drive.

Jay Wheeler:
Right.

Daisy Kensington:
My mom said that driving gets you pregnant.