Batman & Robin

Robin:
I want a car. Chicks dig the car.

Batman:
This is why Superman works alone.

Robin:
I could have made that jump!

Batman:
And you could have splattered your brains all over the side of the building.

Robin:
You know, in the circus, the Flying Graysons were a team. We had to trust each person to do their jobs. That's what being partners is all about. Sometimes, counting on someone else is the only way you win.

Batman:
Your head wasn't even on the job. All you could think about was Poison Ivy.

Robin:
You just can't stand it! Maybe she wanted me instead of you. I mean, this is your idea of friendship, isn't it, Bruce? It's your house, it's your rules, it's your way or the highway! It's Batman and Robin, not Robin and Batman, and I'm sick of it!

Batman:
Yes, it's my rules. My rules to keep us alive, and if you want to stay in this house, and on this team, you will abide by them!

Robin:
This is no partnership. You're never gonna trust me!

Bruce Wayne:
[about Robin] Well, he's over-eager. He's impulsive. I can't trust him not to get hurt.

Alfred Pennyworth:
Perhaps the truth is you really don't trust anyone.

Bruce Wayne:
Oh, don't tell me you're on his side, again.

Alfred Pennyworth:
Despite all your talents, you are still a novice in the ways of family. Master Dick follows the same star as you but gets there by his own course. You must learn to trust him, for that is the nature of family.

Bruce Wayne:
I trust you, Alfred.

Alfred Pennyworth:
But I shan't be here forever.

Poison Ivy:
There's just something about an anatomically correct rubber suit that puts fire in a girl's lips.

Batman:
Why is it that all the beautiful ones are homicidal maniacs? Is it me?

[Alfred misses the doorbell]

Alfred Pennyworth:
I must have dozed off. My sincerest apologies.

Bruce Wayne:
Oh, there's no apology necessary, Alfred. It's the first time it's happened in 30 years.

Poison Ivy:
Enough monkey business. We've got work to do.

Bane:
Monkey work.

Bruce Wayne:
Alfred, am I pig headed? Is it always my way or the highway?

Alfred Pennyworth:
Yes, actually. Death and chance stole your parents. But rather than become a victim, you have done everything in your power to control the fates. For what is Batman if not an effort to master the chaos that sweeps our world? An attempt to control death, itself?

Bruce Wayne:
But I can't, can I?

Alfred Pennyworth:
None of us can.

Robin:
I can't believe we were fighting over a bad guy!

Batman:
Bad? Yes. Guy? No.

Robin:
Well I'm totally over her, alright? Positively!

Batman:
Me too! Definitely! [pause] Great stems, though...

Robin:
Buds, too.

Batman:
Yeah, those were nice...

Poison Ivy:
Let me kiss you.

Batman:
[Runs towards Robin] Stop, don't kiss her. The victim at the airport. Toxins introduced through the mouth.

Robin:
What are you talking about?

Batman:
Why do you think she's so desperate to kiss us, I'm betting her lips are poison.

Robin:
Poison kiss? You got some real issues with women, you know that? You just couldn't stand that she was gonna kiss me and not you. You couldn't stand it that something was gonna be mine and not yours, could you?

[Robin pushes Batman and begins an attack, but Batman avoids Robin's attacks and pushes Robin into the vat of slime as Poison Ivy and Bane have the chance to escape]

Poison Ivy:
Exit Bane.

Bane:
Exit.

[Robin gets out of the vat of slime and realizes that this is the last straw as he storms out]

Robin:
Ivy's right. I don't need your help. I'm going solo.

[Commissioner Gordon shows up and questions Batman of Poison Ivy and Bane's escape]

Commissioner Gordon:
What happened? How'd they get away?

[Batman becomes upset of what Robin has said]

[Robin has entered Ivy's lair after she calls him there and meets her in the center]

Poison Ivy:
Hi there.

Robin:
[Walking towards her] Is your thumb the only part of you that's green?

Poison Ivy:
You will just have to find out.

Robin:
I want us to be together, but I want to make sure you're serious about turning over a new leaf. [lays next to her on her throne] I need a sign.

Poison Ivy:
How about "slippery when wet"?

Robin:
Of trust. Tell me your plan.

Poison Ivy:
Kiss me and I'll tell you.

Robin:
Tell me and I'll kiss you.

Poison Ivy:
Freeze has taken the new telescope and turned it into a giant freezing gun. He's about to turn Gotham into an ice cube.

Robin:
[Turns to leave] I've got to stop him.

Poison Ivy:
[Grabs Robin's shoulders and turns him to face her] One kiss...my love...[whispers] for luck.

[Ivy places a hand on Robin's face and they both lean in, Ivy having an evil smirk, and the two share a passionate kiss]

Poison Ivy:
[In mock sadness] Bad luck I'm afraid. Time to die little robin.

Robin:
I hate to disappoint you, but...[peels rubber off his lips and Ivy stares in shock] rubber lips are immune to your charms.

[Ivy glares at Robin before leaping forward and shoving him off her throne, into the pond]

Robin:
Wahh! [Becomes tangled up in vines that try to drown him]

Poison Ivy:
[Leaps from her throne and waves at Robin as she walks off] See ya!

[Ivy walks away. Suddenly, Batman halts Poison Ivy]

Batman:
You're not the only one who can set a trap, Venus.

Poison Ivy:
Sorry. My vines have a "crush" on you.

[Ivy's vines tangle Batman and pull him up to the ceiling]

Poison Ivy:
[Evil Laughing] Gotta go. So many people to kill, so little time!

[Ivy walks away again. Suddenly, Batgirl crashes the sunlight and she's ready to fight.]

Batgirl:
You're about to become compost.

[Batgirl starts fighting Poison Ivy]

[Batman, Robin and Batgirl climb up into the chamber and Mr. Freeze and Bane is not there]

Robin:
No sign of the snowman.

Batgirl:
Maybe he melted.

Batman:
No, he's just hibernating.

[Batman, Robin and Batgirl shoots the batgrabble into the ceiling and swings into the controller]

Batman:
These heaters will thaw them.

[Batman heat up the scientists. He went past the telescope.]

Batgirl:
I hope you've got about ten million more of those little toys.

Robin:
Eight more minutes and a city full of Gothamites are ice cubes forever.

Batman:
Sunlight could reverse the freezing process.

Batgirl:
Sunrise isn't for five hours.

Batman:
Here.

Robin:
But it's morning in the Congo.

Batman:
If we could relay the sunlight-

Robin:
From the other side of the Equator-

Batgirl:
It'll take the satellites about a minute to re-align, but...damn!

Robin:
Damn? Damn's not good.

Batgirl:
Those targeting mirrors are frozen. The sun beam won't work.

Batman:
Alright, I'll set the telescope. You thaw the mirrors.

[Robin and Batgirl race out of telescope. They begins to thaw the mirrors. Batman get on the main console and types on the keyboard on the world "Targeting". Satellites are tracking through, Back at Observatory. Robin and Batgirl continues to thaw the mirrors. The digital clock reads "11:
53" to "11:54", Batman aims the telescope. Suddenly, Mr. Freeze surprises Batman.]

Mr. Freeze:
Tonight's forecast...a freeze is coming!

[Freeze grabs Batman and hurls the caped crusader up over his head onto the telescope barrel, using his free hand to yank the telescope control joystick. The telescope tilts sharply downward.]

[Batgirl disables Mr. Freeze's freeze-ray]

Robin:
You're pretty good at this, little girl.

Batgirl:
Well, watch and learn, little boy.

[Poison Ivy has been defeated and imprisoned in Arkham Asylum; dazed, she plucks at a flower]

Poison Ivy:
He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me...

[Mr. Freeze appears in the cell]

Mr. Freeze:
NOT! Surprise, I am your new cell mate. And I'm here to make your life a living hell. Prepare for a bitter harvest. Winter has come at last.