Beethoven

Harvey:
I'm so excited. That was my very first felony. I've committed a lot of misdemeanors but I do believe that was my very first felony!

Harvey:
I really don't like it when you tease the dogs.

Vernon:
What are you, some kind of animal lover?

George Newton:
No matter how many showers I take I still smell Beethoven all over me.

Dr. Varnick:
Here for his shots?

George Newton:
Yes.

Dr. Varnick:
Well he'll be a little groggy this evening.

George Newton:
That'll be nice.

Ted Newton:
Do you have any kids?

Brie:
We have a career.

George Newton:
Any kind of weirdness and Beethoven is gone!

Alice Newton:
Weirdness? What should I watch for, hon? Wearin' my clothes around the house?

George Newton:
We're goldfish people, we're antfarm people. We're not dog people.

Alice Newton:
I don't think words for parts of the body make very good names.

Emily Newton:
He's got one of those, I looked.

Alice Newton:
I'm sure he does but I don't think Daddy would want to stand on the porch at night yelling that out.

Emily Newton:
But that's what you call Uncle Richard.

George Newton:
This is ridiculous! It's a dog, he doesn't have preferences! You could call him Ding-Dong Head and he wouldn't know the difference!

Brad:
We want to get in bed with Newton Auto Air Freshners!

Devonia Pest:
If you ask me, what these children need is a little discipline.

Alice Newton:
What these children need is their mother. You're fired.

George Newton:
Come to our house, we'll barbecue.

Brie:
Barbecue? Okay, let's live dangerously.

George Newton:
Our food may not be great but it's not dangerous.

George Newton:
I really don't like our dog!

George Newton:
Um, well, maybe not... Not as much as-as now, thank you.

George Newton:
You'd better think of something to name him 'cause when I come home and he's destroyed my house, I wanna know what to call him.

George Newton:
My dream is going down the drain and you're worried about a dog.

Alice Newton:
Your family is going down the drain and you're worried about a dream.

George Newton:
My family likes you more than they like me! Why? All you do is drool and shed and eat!

Brad:
Dogs obey so much better than children. Don't they?

Alice Newton:
Just change your pants, George!