Beetle Juice

Otho:
Don't mind her. She's still upset because somebody dropped a house on her sister.

Otho:
Ugh. Deliver me from L.L. Bean.

Charles:
And look at that kitchen. You're finally going to be able to cook a decent meal.

Delia:
A little gasoline... blowtorch... no problem.

Adam:
Barb, honey... we're dead. I don't think we have very much to worry about anymore.

Barbara:
We're very unhappy.

Juno:
What did you expect? You're dead.

Barbara:
Just... can you give me the basics?

Adam:
Well, this book isn't arranged that way. What do you want to know?

Barbara:
Well... why did you disappear when you stepped off the porch? Are we halfway to heaven? Are we halfway to hell...? How long is this gonna last?

Adam:
I don't see anything about heaven OR hell. This book reads like stereo instructions. Listen to this: "Geographical and temporal perimeters. Functional perimeters vary from manifestation to manifestation.

Adam:
Oh, this is gonna take some time, honey.

Adam:
We're not completely helpless, Barbara. I've been reading that book and there's a word for people in our situation: ghosts.

Juno:
I heard. Tore your faces right off. It obviously doesn't do any good to pull your heads off in front of people if they can't see you.

Lydia:
Delia hates it.

Lydia:
I could live here.

Betelgeuse:
Go ahead... make my millenium.

Betelgeuse:
Let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.

Adam:
What are your qualifications?

Betelgeuse:
Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT... NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY... NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK? You think I'm qualified?

Betelgeuse:
Because if I tell you, you tell your friends... your friends are callin' me on the horn all the time... and I gotta show up at shopping centers for openings and sign autographs and sh*t like that and it makes my life a HELL. OK? A living HELL.

Lydia:
Maybe YOU can relax in a haunted house, but I can't.

Juno:
We cannot have a routine haunting like yours provide proof that there is existence beyond death.

Delia:
Lydia, I have a chance to teach you something here. You have got to take the upper hand in all situations or people, whether they're dead or alive, will walk all over you.

Otho:
There's absolutely no organic flowthrough.

Delia:
I noticed that too; it's like a giant... ant farm.

Delia:
I will live with you in this hellhole, but I must express myself. If you don't let me gut out this house and make it my own, I will go insane and I will take you with me.

Lydia:
They don't want to come down.

Otho:
Why not?

Lydia:
I think the reason is that they were trying to scare you away, and you didn't get scared.

Delia:
Please, they're dead. It's a little late to be neurotic.

Lydia:
My life is a dark room. One big dark room.

Lydia:
I myself am... strange and unusual.

Betelgeuse:
I'm the ghost with the most, babe.

Otho:
What happened to the people who lived here?

Delia:
Oh, they died. Hey, look, an indoor outhouse.

Barbara:
I don't get it, I mean where all the other dead people in the world?

Adam:
Maybe this is heaven.

Barbara:
In heaven there wouldn't be dust everywhere.

Barbara:
Adam, is this what happens when you die?

Receptionist:
That is what happens when you die, that is what happens when he dies

Receptionist:
and that is what happens when they die. It's all very personal. And I'll tell you something; if I knew then what I know now

Receptionist:
I wouldn't have had my little accident.

Betelgeuse:
Nice f***in' model.

Delia:
Open this door you dead people or we'll bust it down and drag you out by the ropes you hanged yourselves with!

Lydia:
They didn't commit suicide!

Betelgeuse:
We've come for your daughter Chuck.

Betelgeuse:
It's showtime.

Lydia:
You can't scare her, she's sleeping with Prince Valium tonight.

Preacher:
Do you Betel...

Betelgeuse:
Ah, Ah, Ah... Nobody says the "B" word!

Hey is this a stable relationship or do I get a shot at it?

I, myself, am strange and unusual.