Beowulf

Beowulf translates the ancient epic poem of the same name into a postapocalyptic Road Warrior-style future, in which a military outpost is being invaded by a monstrous, blood-thirsty creature. Drawn hither by the evil emanations comes Beowulf (Christopher Lambert from Subway and the Highlander series), a powerful warrior with dark secrets of his own. There he meets the beautiful Kyra (Rhona Mitra), a woman warrior with a couple of cleavage-revealing outfits. Her father Hrothgar, meanwhile, is haunted by dreams of a blond, seminaked succubus with crimped hair, who has some mysterious connection to the murdering monster. Everyone, even father and daughter, has a different accent. It's all pretty trashy--the script is full of bravura lines like, "The only thing that keeps me from becoming evil is fighting evil"--but the cinematography and special effects are capable, there are lots of cool-looking swords and weaponry, and there's some pleasantly cheesy techno-metal music that plays intermittently for no good reason. Christopher Lambert, with white hair and a full-length leather duster, looks a little bored, but he's still his competent brooding action-hero self. If you enjoyed Mortal Kombat, this is right up your alley. --Bret Fetzer