Big Nothing

Charlie:
[troubled] I put him in the septic tank

Gus:
[confused] Who?

Charlie:
[nervously] The corpse?

Gus:
[stunned] He wasn't a corpse when I left him Charlie

Charlie:
[shocked] Should we get him out?

Gus:
[sarcastically] Yeah how long has been down there breathing liquid sh*t?

Gus:
You shot me?

Agent Hymes:
That's the first true thing you ever said.

Mrs. Smalls:
Well I'll be... I haven't heard Pink Floyd in years.

Charlie:
Did you check her pulse?

Josie McBroom:
Well I assumed that when you have an axe lodged in your skull, your pulse tends to bottom out on you.

Josie McBroom:
There goes our alibi.

Penelope Wood:
[cell phone rings from car] Are you going to answer that?

Josie McBroom:
No, it's probably just my ex-boyfriend!

Charlie:
Hey Gus... What's the greek word for "bullshit"?

Charlie:
Holy Moly!

Gus:
Who says "Holy Moly"?

Charlie:
I just drowned a man of the cloth in crap!

Josie McBroom:
Freakin' fantastic! Don't you see? None of us has to run away or turn ourselves in.

Charlie:
What do you propose? We roam the country living on the land, like Bonnie and Clyde... and Clyde?

Gus:
Who the hell are you?

Mrs. Smalls:
Considering that I live here, young man, the question is, "Who the hell are you?"

80 Year Old Blind Man:
[as he catches Gus sneaking around his house] Who the hell are you?

Gus:
[stammers] Er... I'm the guy that's here to collect the money.

80 Year Old Blind Man:
Give me your gun!

Gus:
I don't have one!

80 Year Old Blind Man:
You've come to get money from me and you ain't packing? [pause] Give my regards to the big bearded guy!

Gus:
You don't mean Santa Clause, do ya? [the old man points the gun at Gus as Gus closes his eyes; three loud gunshots are heard]

Gus:
Welcome to hell, d*ckhead!

[first lines]

Charlie:
[Charlie is narrating] My name is Charlie Wood. [pause] I think I made a big mistake...

[repeated line]

Gus:
Okie-dokie!