Blood on the Highway

Roy:
Man, do you really wanna fight an army of vampires?

Bone:
[pauses to do a dramatic turn] Since I was twelve years old.

Carrie:
What the hell is wrong with this town? Those guys were, like, f***ing rabid.

Bone:
They had fangs. Those other two died pretty quickly when I put a stake through their heart. So, obviously... they're Lutherans.

Bone:
Look, we are f***ed! We're f***ed like an autistic 8 year old at a NAMBLA meeting.

Lynette:
So that's what those things are? They's vampires?

Byron:
No, I already told ya, they're genetically enhanced fang bots made by the government!

Lynette:
Then why come that's one we saw stuck out in the daytime 'splode up when the daylight hit 'em?

Byron:
That was just a coincidence. What happened was we got too close to his special robot secrets. [to Bone] And I'm tellin' ya, trying to run durin' the day is a death sentence! They can see ya more clearly!

Bone:
[to Carrie] So, sunrise. That cool?

Chase Sinclair:
I'll allow you to allow me to introduce myself. Hi, Chase Sinclair, regional VP of Consumart Industries, and can anybody tell me why I'm here at five AM instead of my penthouse apartment having my anus tickled by two Kashmiri pop stars?

Carrie:
[slightly raising her hand] Does- does it have something to do with vampires?

Chase Sinclair:
Well, that's part of the reason. More specifically, all of the dead vampires. Now, how do you suppose that happened? Act of god? Sickle Cell? I mean, they didn't just trip and fall on those wooden stakes.

Greeter:
Uh, Bertram Moynaham did.

Chase Sinclair:
[grudgingly] Except for Bertram Moynaham.

Lynette:
Split my meat curtains with your purple-headed custard pumper!

Lynette:
Cum in my mouth and take me to Shoneys!