Born in East L.A.

Jimmy:
That quarter's coming out of your tab and the tacos are 2.50. They're usally 3, but I like you.

Rudy:
If you want to be cool, first you pull your headband into the cool position. then you just lean back, put this hand in your pocket and then you wave this hand behind you like you just cut one and your trying to shoo away the stinch.

Rudy:
Jesus is in Tiajuana.

Rudy:
Hey Man, whaaas sappening?

Rudy:
Hey Miester! I like your sister.

Immigration officer:
Where were you born?

Rudy:
What?

Immigration officer:
Read my lips, El Paco. Where were you born?

Rudy:
I was born in East L.A., man.

Immigration officer:
Sure, sure. If you were born in East L.A., then who's the president of the United States?

Rudy:
I-I don't know, that guy, that guy who was on T.V., the guy in the cowboy hat... he used to be on "Death Valley Days"... uh, John Wayne!

Immigration officer:
Get him out of here.

Rudy:
The president of the United States is Ronald "d*ckhead" Reagan!

Immigration officer:
What do we got here? Looks like a bean in a beanbag.