Boston Public

[repeated line]

Mrs. Parks:
SMELL this shoe!

Marla Hendricks:
These kids, the only way they're going to be all they can be is to join the Marines. There're echoes where their brains should be.

Scott Guber:
Well, they're smart enough to fool you, Marla.

Marla Hendricks:
A good man, a good principle would be sensitive to that.

Steven Harper:
I'm not.

Marla Hendricks:
You're a fat, bald, grump, that's why.

Marilyn Sudor:
Women are so dumb, Steven, you know that? Okay, what would you do if somebody hit you?

Steven Harper:
Well, I'd like to say I'd turn the other cheek, but I'd probably hit 'em back.

Marilyn Sudor:
Yeah, turning the other cheek is overrated, Steven, take it from me. She's gonna marry that guy, you know what? Screw it.

Steven Harper:
You're the last person in the world I'd thought would turn bitter.

Marilyn Sudor:
Oh, I'm way past bitter. He's gonna beat the hell out of her, he's gonna break her spirit again and again, and you know what? Maybe they'll have kids, a baby boy, that would be perfect right? Then they can raise another man in this world you thinks it's okay to hit women, as long as he's really sorry afterwards!

[repeated line]

Scott Guber:
Look at me!

Steven Harper:
Whenever you don't know what to do, choose the hardest thing, because nine times out of ten, that's the right thing to do.

[after Henry was caught hugging a female student]

Henry Preston:
What's the big deal? The kid was crying. Some boy named Tristan or Clayton or whatever, he blew her off and dumped her.

Steven Harper:
And you felt the appropriate response was to put your arms around her?

Henry Preston:
Yeah.

Ronnie Cooke:
You do realize how this could look, don't you?

Henry Preston:
What, that I hugged a girl who was crying? Um...like I'm a nice guy?

Ronnie Cooke:
You had your arms around a 17-year-old girl, the door was closed, and she was wearing a mini-skirt.

Henry Preston:
Well, I didn't pick out her clothes this morning.

Ronnie Cooke:
I do wonder if you're built to be a teacher.

Henry Preston:
Why?

Ronnie Cooke:
In a nutshell, you're not very good with boundaries, and boundaries are essential in a high school.

Henry Preston:
Why?

Ronnie Cooke:
Because these kids are at such a vulnerable age. I mean, they look like adults, but they're really just children in many ways.

Henry Preston:
Hmm. So, by those standards, I'm being suspended for hugging a child that got hurt and was crying?

Claire Ellison:
Women say stupid things sometimes, you'd be suprised. You'd think we were men.

[Harvey has just found out that he has an African American son]

Louisa Fenn:
Harvey, I'm half-black.

Harvey Lipschultz:
Am I your father?

Louisa Fenn:
No. My father was black. My mother's white. I'm a mulatto.

Harvey Lipschultz:
You're a cookie?

Steven Harper:
And you, punching a woman?

Danny Hanson:
Not for nothing, but Title IX says we can hit them now.

Scott Guber:
[after Colin turns around sharply after talking with some students] Mr. Flynn.

Colin Flynn:
[politely with a smile] You can call me Colin.

Scott Guber:
[sternly] I'll opt for Mr. Flynn, but thank you. I would prefer your students also call you Mr. Flynn, Mr. Flynn.

Colin Flynn:
[nonchalantly] Oh, I-I actually kinda told the kids that I prefer Colin. Ya know all that mister stuff really...

Scott Guber:
[cutting Colin off; seriously] I know you want to be their friend Mr. Flynn, but that's not how you get their respect. Stay on this course and you will lose control of your class.

Colin Flynn:
[sarcastically, yet with a smile] That's a pumper, thanks. [walks off]

Lauren Davis:
Sometimes i feel so clueless as to how to do this job.

Harry Senate:
Just follow the teachers manual. I do. To the letter. Kid doesn't wanna come to class just let him touch a corpse or give a lecture on premature ejaculation. It's all in there. Teachings easy. Just use the manual.

[during rehearsal of the talent show]

Guber Look-Alike:
They won't make eye contact, Steven. My hair won't get un-clenched and Lauren Davis won't date me.

Buttle Look-Alike:
I got my head up a horse's ass again. It makes me want to poop in my own mouth then lecture.

Marla Look-Alike:
[running around] Crazy for Cocoa Puffs! Crazy for Cocoa Puffs!

Harry Senate:
Should I go get my gun?

Scott Guber:
Is there anything that you *don't* find funny?

Harry Senate:
Well... your tie.

Scott Guber:
Mr. Senate, I need a favor.

Harry Senate:
Is it sexual?

Sheryl Holt:
Well, I could join the "Gwyneth Club"

[shows three girls who look exactly like Gwyneth Paltrow]

[Dana is not wearing a bra, causing her nipples to poke through her top]

Harvey Lipschultz:
It's OBSCENE!

Dana Poole:
It's NOT obscene! You just have a problem with the female body.

Harvey Lipschultz:
Young lady, the female body...

Steven Harper:
HARVEY!

Harvey Lipschultz:
Look at those breasts.

Dana Poole:
[indignant] Why are you looking, you PERV!

Harvey Lipschultz:
I will NOT tolerate this DISRESPECT!

[Guber has walked in on an unattended, rowdy classroom]

Scott Guber:
Ms. Washington, where's Ms. Hendricks?

Washington:
We think she's dead, sir.

Scott Guber:
And why do you think that, Ms. Washington?

[Ms. Washington points to words on a chalkboard:
GONE TO KILL MYSELF, HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!]

Walter Harrelson:
You told my son that giving him the ball is not the answer. Best he learn that now. Best he learn that in eighth grade, or seventh grade, or even sooner, don't you think, Ms. Davis? Now maybe I failed some things as his dad, but this school failed him, too. These teachers here kept promoting him, didn't they? This school never got him the message. And now you're trying to send it? Now when college scouts are coming, now when football is about to deliver him an education at the University, now you people want to rise up and deliver him the message that athletics ain't everything?

[Harry just shot three blank rounds from his gun, all the students are cowering under their desks in fear]

Harry Senate:
[jubilant] Aren't these things GREAT! Hell, you can use them to kill a classmate. [angry] Maybe even shoot a TEACHER! Yeah, you kids really know what to respect! Stay down there until I tell you to get up!

[Kevin is protesting the inaccuracies of the class textbook]

Kevin Jackson:
Jefferson used to sleep with his slaves. The book don't say nothin' about that. They don't even say how he even had slaves. Washington neither. So I don't see why I should bust my *black ass* reading about a bunch of lies.

Harvey Lipschultz:
Well, you see Mr. Jackson, my job is to see that you get your BLACK ASS into college. And whether these things in these books be lies or not, your achievement tests that you will be taking are standardized. And you'll have to know all these untruths in order for you to pass them, and how many slaves Jefferson had sex with will not be on the test. And if you fail American History, Mr. Jackson, you'll be sitting here again next year. And you'll have to listen all over again to what my *shriveled, white, JEWISH ASS* has to say!

Lauren Davis:
I got hit with a breast implant and suddenly I'm a racist?

[addressing the Winslow High chapter of the NRA]

Harry Senate:
Anyone I suppose could contribute to a shelter or help the needy, but it takes a true American to dedicate himself to firearms. And you know what? We need people like you. Our country's getting a bad rep just because we kill each other. Well, that's manly... shooting people. United States, this is were men live. Australia - all their stupid bragging about how tough they are in the outback. They get about... 15 gun homicides a year. What the hell is that? We get ten thousand. The Japanese are even more pathetic. In 1999, for kids between 15 and 19, they didn't have one handgun murder, not one! We had over five thousand! Our teenagers are tough, but it can't happen unless we get the guns out there into their hands. And for that we need committed, good people like all of you. Look at these idiots in Washington who think it's wrong for teenagers to have assault rifles. And the stupid Democrats think we should have ten-day waiting periods. What happens if you need to kill somebody today? Next thing the government will try to crack down on incest and we won't be able to breed future NRA members. I mean, we are talking about the toothless illiterates that make this country great. This is America. Get a gun!

[Lisa is complaining about Lipschultz]

Louisa Fenn:
Why don't you sleep with Lipschultz? Get him fired too.

Lisa Grier:
Oh, BITE ME Louisa! Don't you have some filing to do?

Louisa Fenn:
I'll file my fist into your face.

Steven Harper:
ENOUGH!

[Guber's dressed as a rabbi]

Scott Guber:
Ssh! I'm undercover.

Steven Harper:
Yeah, I can see that.

Scott Guber:
This is a serious operation. Steven, please, go away. I'll explain later.

[pointing at a midget]

Harvey Lipschultz:
It's a trick!

Scott Guber:
The little man has been spotted on school grounds. I've got out an all-points bulletin.

Steven Harper:
How'd he get past security?

Scott Guber:
Went right under them!

Marla Hendricks:
And don't be going around dressed up as some silly, old rabbi either. Everybody's laughin'.

Scott Guber:
I was unrecognizable.

Marla Hendricks:
Well, maybe it was somebody dressed as you dressed as a silly, old rabbi, but everybody's laughin' Scott.

Harvey Lipschultz:
I can't keep up with this! First they were negroes. Then they were colored. Then they were black. Now they're African-Americans. Why don't I just avoid all controversy and just call them African-American black colored negroes?

Steven Harper:
I understand you've had a tragedy with one of your partners and these aren't the happiest of times, but if you think you can intimidate me, not gonna happen.

Ellenor Frutt:
You project nicely. You don't need to be in my face, but while you're here, look into my eyes. Do I look scared? And by the way, you're not better looking up close.

Susan Gallipagamus:
All right, enough with the chest thumping.

[after Harry Senate knocked out a student, in self-defense]

Scott Guber:
Do you think this is funny?

Harry Senate:
No, funny would be if I knocked you out, Scott.

Harvey Lipschultz:
[on what patriotism means to him] Oh, many things. But mostly, it means bombs. As an American, I'm proud to be bombing that terrorist country. You knock down two of our skyscrapers, and we bomb you. Simple.

Harvey Lipschultz:
Mess with America, and we answer with three little words: Boom. Boom. And boom.

Zach Delray:
[asking Ronnie Cooke to the prom] You know, strictly as a lover, I'm better *off* the Ritalin.

Steven Harper:
[When listening to Harry Senate complain about Scott Guber] What exactly are you asking me for, Harry?

Harry Senate:
The right to tell him to go to hell.

[during her tirade at the School Board meeting]

Marla Hendricks:
Let me tell you something, let me tell all of you something. The reason I've had it is because I have to go into a room day after day after damn day and try to break through to a bunch of damn kids who don't want to listen, don't want to learn, and don't want to give me the decency of being quiet. Mr. Senate shot off a gun? *I* would've rolled in a big CANNON if I knew where to get one. I'd have tried anything. And you show me a teacher who doesn't almost lose his or her mind sometimes, and I'll show you a teacher who's not trying. I can show you some parents who aren't. You send them off to school thinking: job's done. It's up to the teachers now. Well, it doesn't work that way. You got to get in on this, too. Kids coming in every day singing that jingle: those who can't do, teach. They get that from their parents! We KNOW what you think of us! Well, let me tell you, we're in there doing every damn day, and a lot of the doing we do is PARENTING! You want to compare failures? Step right up! Who's first?

Marla Hendricks:
[to the Superintendent, Marsha Shinn] And that little whirl you took coming through the school today so you could come to this meeting and say, "I've been there", Well, lady, you *ain't been there!* [walks away, muttering under her breath] Stuck up, intellectual, superintendent, frappuccino b*tch!

[addressing the players on the football team]

Harvey Lipschultz:
When I was a young boy, there was this baseball player. And the players didn't want him to play because he was different. But when he finally did make it into the game, they found that he could hit and run and catch better than all of them. His name was Jackie Robinson. And he paved the way for the black man to get into the game of baseball, making it a better game. What if it were to turn out that this homosexual could run faster, hit harder and throw that football straighter? We won't know that. We won't know that unless that first team of courage invites him to join the game. And I would like to think that that team of courage lives right here at Winslow High. Gentlemen, there is nothing more American than football. Be proud. Welcome the gay linebacker into your shower.

Scott Guber:
[to the School Board] If you choose to remove Steven Harper, you'll be getting rid of me. If he goes, so do I!

Kevin Riley:
You'll get my resignation!

Lauren Davis:
And mine!

Milton Buttle:
I won't stay!

Marla Hendricks:
Me neither!

Harry Senate:
[sarcastically] Oh, I'll stay forever.

Marilyn Sudor:
We'll ALL leave!

Teacher:
Here's MY resignation!

[all the teachers stand up]

Danny Hanson:
[at Debbie's house after she didn't show up for school that day] What? Are you sick, Debbie? You don't look sick to me...

Debbie Nixon:
Well, you don't look nuts, but we both know better.

Harry Senate:
The spirit of Winslow High is to give kids second chances.

[the valedictory address at graduation]

Kevin Jackson:
The truth is, I don't have any big message. I don't even have any dreams. A lot of my classmates, the same thing, no dreams. I think one reason for that, the idea of becoming adults, it isn't something we look forward to. We look around, we see our parents, our coaches, our teachers... Who'd want to be them? Our parents mainly think about money, our coaches mainly think about winning, and our teachers... most of you look half-dead every day. Don't get me wrong, I admire anybody who can go to a place day after day after day tryin' to teach a bunch of us. But a lot of you are disillusioned, you don't get enough respect. Your days are too long, your checks are too small, and you get a little more dead with each passing day. And we see that, making us just a little more afraid day by day. Afraid of the future. And we got no dreams. The truth is, today's kids are disadvantaged. We didn't get to grow up with any Martin Luther Kings or Bobby Kennedys. They didn't make any Jackie Robinsons in our generation. Today's heroes, they're not presidents. Proud parents today say any kid might grow up to be Alan Greenspan. And we got no dreams. Despite all this, I'm standing up here to say there are heroes among us. Sometimes they're parents, sometimes they're classmates, like Christine Banks or Lisa Grier. Sometimes they're teachers. With me, Harvey Lipschultz. He's a bigot, but he never let me forget every day that I could be something. He took an interest in me. And Mr. Senate? He doesn't know it but he saved my life. There's been a few times I thought about just driving over that center line, but then he started the suicide club and I was too proud to join it. But just knowin' that there were other kids out there struggling with some of the same stuff I was... it helped me get by. Mr. Harper, who's here fightin' for us every day, with eyes that never go dead. When I look at him, I want to be a principal. I guess my big message for today is, heroes are in the grass sometimes. They're not always on billboards and magazine covers. You've gotta look for 'em, even when they stand right in front of you. So, do that. Let's live our lives tryin' to do that. Spot 'em, point 'em out to your kids. Maybe there's dreams out there too. And now, I'll ask all of you to applaud because I'm finished.

[female students are taking off their bras and hanging them from lockers]

Harry Senate:
Lipschultz told them to wear their brassieres for the good of their country. Turns out they're a bunch of Communist sluts.

Harvey Lipschultz:
All through history, when men look at women, they want to have sex. Now, God did this on purpose to ensure the survival of the human species. And he also gave women lumps, known as breasts, to inspire in man the penile urge to procreate. Now, this was very good for mankind, but not for womankind. Now, how could she succeed in this world, and how could she be respected for all her values, when men just want to mount her? Research eventually showed that it was those dangling bouncing breasts that cause special excitement to the man's blood flow. It was determined that the brassiere could stop this dangling, bouncing motion. The man would be less likely to objectify the woman and she would have a fighting chance at equality. You must harness your bosoms in order to squash the discrimination by the male gonads. This country can never maximize its potential until you can achieve equality. That's why I must make a rule, right here, and right now: wear a bra, for the good of the country.

Brian:
Nice nips, Dana.

Dana Poole:
Bite me!

Brian:
[undaunted] Time and place?