Bottle Rocket

Dignan:
What do you think I was doing the whole time you were out there man? I told you Dignan got fired, out on his ass. But you didn't think about that, did you. In the end it's easier to think about yourself than it is to think about Dignan.

Dignan:
What a lemon! One minute it's running like a top, and the next it's broken down on the side of the road. And I can't fix a car like this, because I don't have the tools! And even if I did have the tools I don't know if I could fix a car like this!

Anthony:
Maybe we should've robbed your house. You ever think of that?

Dignan:
You know there's nothing to steal from my mom and Craig!

Dignan:
They'll never catch me... because I'm f***ing innocent.

Bob:
Wha - why is there tape on your nose?

Dignan:
Exactly!

Dignan:
Okay. There, you see the star is me, right there, and I'll be in there. The X is Anthony. Bob, you're the zero out here in the car.

Kumar:
Man, I blew it. I blew it, man.

Anthony:
Kumar, what were you doing in the freezer?

Kumar:
I don't know, man, I lose my touch, man.

Dignan:
Did you ever have a touch to lose, man?

Dignan:
We'll get him. We'll get him. Man, dont worry about that, we'll get him. And when we do, we'll blow up his car, do something. I can guarantee you that. What makes me furious is thinking about the look on Bob's fat face, thinking he pulled one over on us. I tell you another thing. If our paths cross again, you're gonna see a side of Dignan that you havent seen before. A sick, sadistic side, cause I'm furious at Bob.

Dignan:
Bob Mapplethorpe, potential get-away driver: go!

Bob:
Well, I think there's a real air of mystery about me.

Dignan:
Don't complicate it. Your number one strength is you have a car you can provide. Sell yourself! Start over. Ready, go!

Bob:
Okay, alright. I'm a risk taker! I'm growin' an entire crop of marijuana plants in my parents back yard! I think that shows...

Dignan:
Wait, you're growing an entire crop of marijuana in your back yard?

Bob:
Dignan, look. I'm just not very good at this selling-yourself stuff, okay? So, I'm just gonna tell you the truth. I really wanna be a part of this team. And I'm the only one with a car.

Dignan:
That's good. That's good. 'Cause that hits me right here.

Anthony:
So, did you enjoy your first visit to the nut house?

Dignan:
Hey, hey, shh, shh, shh. Come on. Be sensitive to the fact that other people are not comfortable talking about emotional disturbances. Um, you know, I am, I'm fine with that, but... other people.

Bob:
Anthony, I need to talk to you, man... Anthony, I have got to talk to you! Look, I am sorry about this, this seems like a nice soiree, but I have got a family situation. I don't care what you think. I dont care! Tengo una situación con mi familia! Dignan does not want to deal with it, could you please come outside for a minute?

Dignan:
Pointless act! You don't give a 500 dollar tip to the housekeeper! That's inappropriate! That's inexcusable! That, I don't forgive! What were you thinking? What were you thinking?

Stacy Sinclair:
Wow, you're really complicated.

Anthony:
I try not to be.

Dignan:
On the run from Johnny Law... ain't no trip to Cleveland.

Dignan:
No, I just have short hair.

Anthony:
One morning, over at Elizabeth's beach house, she asked me if I'd rather go water-skiing or lay out. And I realized that not only did I not want to answer THAT question, but I never wanted to answer another water-sports question, or see any of these people again for the rest of my life.

Anthony:
You told, you told your friend Bernice I'm some kind of jet pilot?

Grace:
What was I supposed to say, they stuck you in an insane asylum?

Anthony:
It wasn't an insane asylum, Grace. I explained to you back then that it was for exhaustion.

Grace:
Exhaustion?

Anthony:
Yes, exhaustion.

Grace:
You haven't worked a day in your life. How could you be exhausted?

Anthony:
Fact: Dignan, the picture's not doing it for me right now.

Dignan:
Well does the fact that I'm trying to do it do it for you?

Anthony:
Which part of Mexico are you from?

Inez:
Paraguay.

Dignan:
You, my dear friend, are a damn fool.

Grace:
When are you coming home?

Anthony:
I can't come home, Grace, I'm an adult.

Future Man:
I don't suppose either one of you know why Bob's car is here?

Anthony:
Uh... yeah, he's *here*.

Dignan:
Who'd you get to do that? Did you bribe a janitor?

Dignan:
A bigger bag you idiot!

Book Store Manager:
Don't call me an idiot, you punk!

Dignan:
Do you have a bigger bag for maps and atlases... sir?

Anthony:
Why aren't you over there right now?

Dignan:
Because we're fugitives... and he fired me.

Dignan:
I don't think your happiness is quite appropriate.

Bob:
Jack, I'm 26 years old, I didn't run away from home.

Dignan:
Why are you here right now? You're always at lunch at this time!

Dignan:
Yes! Always!

Dignan:
Isn't it funny how you used to be in the nut house and now I'm in jail?

Anthony:
Grace thinks I'm a failure.

Dignan:
What? What has she ever accomplished in her life that's so great?

Dignan:
Son of a b*tch! Anthony! Anthony! Bob's gone. He stole his car! He flew the coop while we were sleepin'!

Dignan:
How does an a**hole like Bob get such a great kitchen?

Dignan:
Little kids are really cute. She is a cute little kid.

Dignan:
Uh yeah, I'll have a Tom Collins.

Dignan:
Here are just a few of the key ingredients: dynamite, pole vaulting, laughing gas, choppers - can you see how incredible this is going to be? - hang gliding, come on!

Kumar:
Who that man?

Dignan:
What? What are you talking about?

Kumar:
Who's that?

Dignan:
That's Applejack, man! Come on!

Abe Henry:
I don't mean to offend you, Bob. But your brother's a cocksucker. Does that offend you?

Bob:
No, that didn't offend me.

Abe Henry:
Good.

Dignan:
Who tripped the alarm, man?

Anthony:
It's the fire alarm!

Dignan:
Who tripped the fire alarm?

Anthony:
IT'S BECAUSE OF ALL THIS F***ING SMOKE!

Guy in bathroom:
Hey, you're in the Army, yes?

Dignan:
No, I just have short hair.

Dignan:
What are you doing here?!

Workers:
We work here.

Dignan:
Your hours at lunch now!

Workers:
Not always.

Dignan:
Yes! Always!

Future Man:
What the f*** are you wearing?

Dignan:
It's a jump suit.

Future Man:
Clay look at this guy...

Clay:
He looks like a rodeo clown...

Future Man:
He looks like a little banana. Where are you from anyway, man?

Dignan:
I'm from around here.

Future Man:
This guy used to mow our lawn.

Clay:
No sh*t.

Future Man:
Yeah he was great, clipping the hedges, sweeping up, mowing the lawn. What was the name of your little lawn mowing company?

Dignan:
The Lawn Wranglers.

Future Man:
(laughing) Let's go. Keep up the mowing, Kimosabe.

Dignan:
Fact: I learned more in the two months I spent with Mr. Henry and his crew than I learned in 15 years of academic study. Fact: I can guarantee you after Mr. Henry sees us pull this job, he's going to take a personal interest in our future. Fact: Mr. Henry drives a Jaguar...

Anthony:
Fact: The picture's not doing it for me right now, Dignan.

Dignan:
Well, does the fact that I'm trying to do it, do it for you?

Dignan:
You know there's nothing to steal from my mom and Craig!

Dignan:
Ca-caw! Ca-caw!

Dignan:
Shh, wait for my instructions. When we go through the next gate, you'll have thirty seconds to take out the tower guard. Thirty seconds. Have the car running at the northwest checkpoint. Bob and I are gonna scale the barricade, and then we're gonna tunnel through to no-mans-land. And Bob, remember, shield me from the bullets, they won't shoot civilians! Are you ready? Let's go! Let's go! Now! Now! Now! (smiling) Isn't it funny how you used to be in the nut house and now I'm in jail?

Dignan:
Bob gets the Spirit Award.

Future Man:
He looks like a little banana. Where are you from pal?

Tagline:
They're not really criminals, but everybody's got to have a dream.