Brave Little Toaster

The Radio:
I think Houdini did this once, and if I remember right, he was out of the hospital in no time.

Lampy:
Well, that's reassuring.

Lampy:
I really thought I'd turned in my warranty that time.

Air Conditioner:
The whole bunch of you gotta have a combined wattage of maybe five, maybe less. It's scrap metal time.

The Radio:
Things could be worse you know.

Lampy:
How?

The Radio:
How what?

Lampy:
How could they be worse?

The Radio:
They couldn't; I lied.

The Radio:
Thanks to my war training, I will simply render the secret appliance knock, and we will be welcomed by the native machinery.

Lampy:
Holy Mother of Edison! What were you thinking? You could have broken my bulb!

Lampy:
Hey, come over here. I'm gonna...

The Radio:
Why, do you dare to cross foils with the greatest Saxon swordsman in the land? Haven't you the slightest idea who you're dealing with?

Lampy:
Precisely - a total idiot!

The Radio:
If you sabre wags as loosely as your Norman tongue, you'll be run through in an instant. Defend yourself, Sir Lampy of Locksley!

The Radio:
A blow for Richard! A blow for Marion! A blow for Mario, the garbage man! And for Carl and all the boys at the delicatessen! And here's one for the guys on 5th street!

Kirby:
Why don't you shut off?

Air Conditioner:
Oh, I'm really scared there, Kirby. What are you going to do, suck me to death?

The Radio:
I've always loved travel anyway: the open road, the smell of the wind in my face, the flies clogging up my grill.

Blanky:
Do we have to stop here?

Toaster:
Only for a while.

The Radio:
Just long enough to lose our minds! We'll be cannibals within a few days, I've seen it happen!

Kirby:
And you'll be the first to go, dial-face.

Lampy:
So... uh... what's this thing with you and the Blanket?

Toaster:
What thing?

Lampy:
You know. All of a sudden, you're being so darned NICE to him all of a sudden.

Toaster:
Oh, that. I was just thinking, and I got this feeling I should be nicer to him for a change, you know? And now I feel better.

Lampy:
Wow, that's weird.

Toaster:
What's weird about it?

Lampy:
I don't know. I mean, you were never this nice to him before, and all of a sudden now you're nice to him all the time, and I don't know. I'm, uh, I'm just trying to understand, trying to figure out, what it all means.

Toaster:
Well, it's kind of hard to describe. It's like being next to a new loaf of bread.

Toaster:
Hmmm. It's, um, let's see... it's like a warm, toasty feeling inside.

Toaster:
It's like a glow...

Lampy:
A glow!

Toaster:
Yeah.

Lampy:
I think I know what you're talking about! It's like the feeling I get when I think about the Master.

The Radio:
Oh, It's you.

The Radio:
We're trapped here like rats! Small little rats with no hair and one leg!

The Radio:
Look, Lampy, from here you can see the really BIG lamp.

Lampy:
WOW! I wonder where his switch is?

The Radio:
North by northwest. Watch out for low-flying aircraft.

Kirby:
Climb on, you idiot!

Kirby:
Where's Toaster?

Lampy:
He sank.

Toaster:
You know, we could use someone who's really... strong!

Lampy:
And loud!

Blanky:
And grumpy!

The Radio:
And oblivious to reality!

Kirby:
Toaster, you're insane!

The Radio:
Why if we were all wiener dogs, our problems would be solved!

Toaster:
What?

The Radio:
Or maybe it was a Basset Hound.

Kirby:
You're all insane!

Toaster:
If a dog can do it, WE can do it!

Blanky:
But a dog has legs.

Toaster:
Ah, don't be a wet blanket.

Lampy:
I remember the first time my bulb burned out. I thought, "That's it! I'm burnt out! Eighty-sixed! To the showers!" And then the master gave me a new bulb... and I glowed.

Toaster:
What are you laughing at?

Air Conditioner:
Absolutely nothing, nothing at all.

Lampy:
You know what? I think he was laughing at us.

Air Conditioner:
You know something? You're a very bright little lamp.

Lampy:
Gee, thanks... Hey!

Lampy:
Legs would help, you know.

Kirby:
Brains wouldn't hurt either.

Lampy:
Lay off.

The Radio:
Yeah, pipe down, carpet breath.

The Radio:
Come over here and say that, crome dome.

Kirby:
WHAT?

The Radio:
Oh sorry about that. I meant to say, "Vacuous vacuum".

Kirby:
I just slipped and fell in. That's all.

Lampy:
Oh yeah, sure, right.

Blanky:
You can't fool us. We love you.

The Radio:
That's right, like Mrs. Roosevelt loved her husband.

Chris:
Really, now, why don't you just go out and find a new one?

Rob:
Are you kidding? Where am I gonna find another toaster like this?

Chris:
Like that? Probably nowhere.

Blanky:
Help me! I'm stuck!

Toaster:
I hear him.

Lampy:
I don't see him anywhere.

The Radio:
Maybe he's calling from Blanket Heaven. He's a white, fluffly little angel with a knob-nose.

Kirby:
He's just stuck in a tree, you guys!

The Radio:
Why listen to this. I'm picking up something. I think its a news flash: President Roosevelt has declared today a national holiday in honor of those five amazing appliances we've all been hearing about. So lock up the office, take down the top and open that rumble seat. Last one to Coney Island is a party pooper. From the starlight roof high atop the Ritz, we wish our intrepid little friends the best of luck and a fond farewell.

Kirby:
Ah, you're all a bunch of junk.

Chris:
Hey, what about Moonie's down on 53rd? They've got used vacuums and junk.

Black and White TV:
This just in: Moonie's vacuums found to be uh... Uh... Carsonagenic in these new lab tests. Big, big tumors on those rats. We've got photos to prove it

Black and White TV:
and I don't even wanna look at them. Uhh!

Blanky:
Look, the master is down there! Look!

Lampy:
It's him!

Kirby:
What? Where?

The Radio:
Why look! It IS him!

Blanky:
Maybe he still needs us.

Lampy:
Yeah.

Black and White TV:
Why wander endlessly through this sprawling wasteland they dare to call a city when your dreams are all under one roof: our roof. Corner of 3rd and East. Crazy Ernie's Amazing Emporium of TOTAL BARGAIN MADNESS!

Rob:
Have you ever heard of this place before? It looks pretty neat.

The Radio:
Why if it isn't ol' Rabbit Ears!

Black and White TV:
Why if it isn't ol' loud mouth!

Blanky:
Hey TV!

Lampy:
Howya doing?

Black and White TV:
Oh, I've got a few more seasons left.

Toaster:
The cabin hasn't been the same since they took you away.

Kirby:
Yeah, it wasn't as noisy.

Black and White TV:
Well I see you haven't changed.

Lampy:
I've never seen contraptions with so many dials and knobs before.

Computer:
Naturally, we are on the cutting edge of technology.

Lampy:
Wow.

The Radio:
Well what does that mean?

Lampy:
I don't know. What's that mean?

Entertainment Center:
Plugsy.

Plugsy:
Yeah?

Entertainment Center:
Did you hear that? He's taking some old... STUFF to the dorm instead of us.

Blanky:
There may be lions in there...

The Radio:
And tigers and bears. Oh my.

Lampy:
He's just a baby!

The Radio:
Good morning, good morning, gooooood morning!

Blanky:
I'm covered with stickers!

Kirby:
Well, my bag's full of thistles and sticks and who knows what else!

Kirby:
What difference does it make if the master's not here? We're still doing the same thing we've done for 2000 days! Chores!

Blanky:
Chores?

Toaster:
It'll be fun.

The Radio:
Fun? In what way?

Toaster:
Hey, I know! Let's play a game!

The Radio:
A game? What sort of a game?

Lampy:
What are the rules?

Toaster:
There's only one rule... we keep working until the house is clean.

Lampy:
Hey, everybody! Look! A clearing!

Kirby:
Great. Now let's stop here and have a picnic.

Lampy:
Hey, I've got an idea! We can all get on top of the bed, and Kirby can push us!... No, no, no... Hey! What about the master's pogo stick?... No, no, no... Hey! Why don't we get the refridgerator on a skateboard, and Kirby can pull?... No, no, no... Hey!

The Radio:
Shut up!

Toaster:
We're not going to stop until we find him.

Blanky:
Are we there yet?

Toaster:
No, not yet. We've got a long way to go.

Kirby:
Oh boy! You're telling me!

Mother:
Rob, did you pack enough socks?

Rob:
Look, Mom, I'm not going to Jupiter or anything, I'm going to college. It's just college.