Breaking In

Oz:
Well he'll do a lot of sweating and then he'll die.

Josh Armstrong:
Professor Doogan's password is "password"?

Cameron Price:
Yeah, for a creative writing teacher he's not very creative.

Oz:
Have a seat there champ.

Cameron Price:
Who the hell are you?

Oz:
I'm the guy telling you to sit your ass down.

Oz:
Your museum definitely needs better security, but I get why she's a masterpiece. Woman's got four b*obs and no mouth.

Oz:
Good news, Senetor, I've managed to secure your email. Bad news, your wife knows you're into dudes.

Josh Armstrong:
Well, you're out of toilet paper, and now the last four pages of Chamber of Secrets.

Josh Armstrong:
Bonjour! I'm a transfer student. Name's Duncan, Duncan M'nuts.

Calvin 'Cash' Sparks:
My mouth is about to have sex with this candy bar. Oo girl, Oo what, give me some of that fine sugar, Oo yeah.

Cameron Price:
That really doesn't sound consensual.

Calvin 'Cash' Sparks:
She's over eighteen.

Melanie Garcia:
Well, you'll never know. Oz always has a plan.

Cameron Price:
My plan was to stay in college until I died of happiness.

Oz:
You're late Kirk Cameron.

Cameron Price:
yeah, 'cause Cash keeps pranking me and ruining my life!

Oz:
I'll allow it.

Josh Armstrong:
So, let me get this straight, you gather us all here in your douche-icle so you can tell us you have no idea what the hell you're doing?

Dutch:
I love the crap out of this woman!

Oz:
I used to be a thief. Counterfeiting, breaking and entering; spent my twenty-first birthday in jail for that one.

Cameron Price:
That's why they call you Oz,after that prison show with male frontal nudity and adult situations.

Oz:
Or, my last name is Osbourn.

Cameron Price:
That also makes sense.

Cameron Price:
That floppy haired son of a b*tch!

Cameron Price:
You know, I never thought I'd say this, but we really make a good team.

Josh Armstrong:
You know, that's so funny, because I was just about to say suck it! We'll never be a team.

Melanie Garcia:
So, let me get this straight. You can hack into the FBI mainframe and put the Hamburgler on the most wanted list, but you...

Cameron Price:
But I managed to lock my keys in my car, yes, we've established that.

Oz:
Greetings and salutations.

Calvin 'Cash' Sparks:
You know, your childhood sounds fun. Mine was ravaged by scoliosis.

Calvin 'Cash' Sparks:
Technically, it's panino. See, panini is plural. Many panini, one panino. So, now you know.

Cameron Price:
And this is why you get no vagine-o. So, now you know.

Oz:
I hear you got a new squeeze. Come on, what's she like? She have, uh, arthritis of the hands?

Cameron Price:
I don't...

Oz:
It's my colorful way of saying big b*obs.

Creepy Carol:
So, long story short, the doctor got it out and I get to be part of a medical journal.

Cameron Price:
apparently this old lady's house is a geriatric Fort Knox.

Josh Armstrong:
I lost my brows in the line of duty.

Melanie Garcia:
No, it's good. It brings out your huge forehead.

Josh Armstrong:
Don't even speak. We have been out there getting our asses kicked and you don't even have a scratch on you.

Melanie Garcia:
I ripped my jeans.

Calvin 'Cash' Sparks:
No, you bought them like that and they look great!

Cameron Price:
I flossed for you!

Amy Osborn:
Honey, you're supposed to floss.

Josh Armstrong:
[after losing eyebrows] I know you guys can't tell by my face, but I am shocked right now.

Cameron Price:
Are you crazy? You really had me date your wife? What's wrong with you? I could have slept with her!

Oz:
Awe you really think you had a shot? That's adorable, don't lose that.