Brian Regan: The Epitome of Hyperbole

Brian Regan:
Two plus two is chicken!

Brian Regan:
You know what the lamest crime is? Loitering... loitering? Can you imagine a guy with a thirty page rapsheet, that's all it says on there? "Loitering, loitering, loitering, loitering, loitering, loitering loitering, 'this guy's got no where to go!' lotering, loitering, loitering." What do you do with a guy like that? Throw him in jail where he can't go anywhere? Loitering! Is something really a crime when it's remedied as easily as "alright, move along." And on the other end of the spectrum, I think the worst name for a crime is manslaughter. Damn! Could you please change the terminology? Could you conjur up anything more hideous? "What are you in for?" "MANNNSSLAUGHTERRRRRRRRR! I slaughtered a man! Just like a pig! Put him on a spit, put an apple in his mouth..." "So, eh, what are you in for?" "Loitering! I'm like you man! I live on the edge! They're like 'move along' and I'm like, 'I don't think so!"