Bushwhacked

Fishman:
Sir, would it be ok if we called you Spider?

Max:
Why the h - - would you wanna call me that?

Gordy:
Because it's your nick name.

Max:
Well fine then. Call me Spider!

Fishman:
Spider. Spider. Spider!

Max:
WHAT?

Fishman:
How come your nick name's Spider?

Max:
Because I once killed a kid who called me Spider, one time too many!

Fishman:
Yeah, but how could he call you Spider one time too many if your nick name wasn't already Spider?

Fishman:
Ok, it's two longs and one short. No, no, no, stop. Stop wait. Two shorts and one long.

Barnhill:
Oh great! What are we supposed to do, cross that letter out?

Max:
Watcha making?

Gordy:
It's a crystal-dialed receiver. You know what that is, right?

Max:
Yeah, of course I do. That is a beauty.

Gordy:
That's the toolbox.

Max:
Alright! Knock it off! What is that? We run and dance and sing and play?

Gordy:
My mom kinda wrote the words.

Max:
Well they suck! Okay?

Max:
Shake your lizards, let 'em drain. Move your hips and...

Max:
Send it straight, send it hard. Now a sword fight, go...

Max:
Eat your veggies, eat your starches. Lean back boys...

Max:
Alright! Now flip them and zip them and let's get going!

Kid:
Can I play too?

Barnhill:
Little kid, go home.

Gordy:
We're not playing, we're practicing.

Kid:
You guys are silly.

Ralph:
Whoa! I bet you've never seen anything like this before, huh, Barnhill. You probably don't even know about the birds and the bees your butthead.

Kelsey:
Oh, and you do?

Ralph:
Yeah. That's right, I do.

Kelsey:
Oh yeah? Go ahead and explain it to us.

Ralph:
Uh, I know it's about making babies. And I know it takes a man AND a woman to make it work right. And they both have to go into a room. And they both take their shirts off.

Fishman:
No, no, no. The man doesn't have to take his shirt off. Just the woman!

Barnhill:
Hey! Check it out! Len Strader's in her underwear!

Dana:
Let me see!

Barnhill:
Sorry. She just ducked behind McClipman's house.

Dana:
Barnhill, you're such a liar.

Barnhill:
You're such a shrimp.

Max:
Hey kid, how's it hanging? Alright, Gordy, I'm coming down to get you.

Gordy:
No! You don't know what you're doing!

Max:
Of course I do! I'm the Lizard! Remember?

Gordy:
You mean the Spider?

Max:
Right.

Gordy:
My mom says the guy who's taking us has hiked all over the world.

Barnhill:
I'm sure he won't be half as good as the guy me and my dad had on our trip to the Serengeti.

Ralph:
Barnhill, if you're dad is so friggin' cool, then why isn't he our scout leader?

Barnhill:
Oh yeah. Spies have a lot of time for the scouts.

Ralph:
Nice dolls.

Barnhill:
Did you bring a pretty pink umbrella too, in case it starts to rain?

Kelsey:
No, I figured we could all just crouch under a pair of your underwear and wait it out.

Fishman:
Well guys, we gotta start a fire. Better start looking for pinecones.

Max:
Pinecones?

Fishman:
It says in the manual, whenever your camp is surrounded by green wood, always use pinecones to start your fire.

Max:
If the manual told you to stick your wiener in a light-socket, would you do it?

Ralph:
We finally get to go on an overnight, and we end up at Grand Central Station.

Gordy:
It's better than my backyard.

Ralph:
Not by much.

Max:
I know, but it's not true. I was set up. I gotta know if there's another package for Timberline Inc., to Reinhart Bragdon.

Max:
Because that's the guy I killed!

Max:
No, I told you I was framed!

Agent Palmer:
What? What do you see?

Agent Palmer:
Oh, yeah!

Agent Palmer:
What do they say?

Max:
Look, Kelsey, there's nothing wrong with being a little afraid.

Fishman:
Spider, I'm scared, too.

Max:
Will you shut up, you gutless coward? I'm talkin' to her!