Cabin Boy

Nathanial Mayweather:
Paps, you've been like the drunken, abusive grandfather I never had.

Paps:
Ah, stop that. You'll have my glass eye foggin' over.

Nathanial Mayweather:
Oh, cappy, tell me about all of this. Tell me about the sea. What does it mean to you?

Captain Greybar:
Basically, money. I come from six generations of seamen all with the same goal in life: catch fish, sell 'em, get drunk, and get laid.

Nathanial:
I love sitting up here, looking at those bright, twinkly things in the sky, I forget their technical name.

Trina:
Stars.

Nathanial:
Whatever.

Old Salt in Fishing Village:
Would you like to buy a monkey?

Nathanial Mayweather:
I just don't get it! She seems totally uninterested in me, despite my smothering obsessiveness!

Cupcake:
Now I know what you're thinking. "What could be stranger than a big fatass floatin' cupcake?" Heh. How about one that spits tobacco?

Nathanial Mayweather:
These pipes are clean!

Old Salt in Fishing Village:
Man, oh man, I hate those fancy lads!

Kenny:
Mmmm. Gum.

Skunk:
We're just here to catch fish and stink.

Paps:
Mostly the latter.

Trina:
And secondly, don't ever call me missy again or you'll end up losing the rest of your teeth.

Paps:
Sassy little thang ain't she? Want me to give her a SPANKING?

Skunk:
Why doesn't she give ME a spanking?