Calling Philo Vance

Philo Vance:
You see, Markham, we have all of the parts of the puzzle, but none of them seems to fit.

Dr. Doremus - Coroner:
[after examining Coe's body] Gentlemen, this man had been dead for some time when the bullet entered his head.

J.P. Markham:
How long has he been dead?

Dr. Doremus - Coroner:
Well, I'd say about eight to ten hours, but give me a chance to do a little carvin'.

Dr. Doremus - Coroner:
[about the dead Archer Coe] There couldn't have been much of a struggle. His hair isn't even mussed.

Ryan:
[Sardonically] Somebody must have blackjacked him and then combed his hair.

Ryan:
Suicide?

Dr. Doremus - Coroner:
All I know is he's dead, and there's still too many people in the world.

Philo Vance:
[Sniffing the aroma of the lipstick from the back of his hand] Gardenia, I should say. Definitely common. Do you know anything about lipstick, Ryan?

Ryan:
[Taking offence] What do you think I am?

Philo Vance:
Hmmm... I'll let you know.

Ryan:
[Annoyed, as Vance is leaving] Okay, wise guy, you're not out of the woods yet!

Philo Vance:
You're right, Ryan.

Avery:
[Referring to Vance's secret mission]... and you understand the American government must not enter into this.

Philo Vance:
I know. If I'm caught, I shall be a man without a country.

Avery:
More than that, Vance. Possibly also a man without a head!

Philo Vance:
Hmmm, not an amusing thought, your excellency.

Philo Vance:
[Approaching Grassi's table as he is eating] Signor Grassi?

Eduardo Grassi:
[Looking up] Yes.

Philo Vance:
The same Signor Grassi who distinguished himself in the Ethiopian campaign?

Eduardo Grassi:
The same.

Philo Vance:
I hope you'll pardon the intrusion. My name is Philo Vance.

Eduardo Grassi:
Oh, uh, won't you join me? I've heard of you too.

Philo Vance:
Have you also heard that Mr. Archer Coe, whose airplane designs you've tried to buy for your government has been murdered?

Eduardo Grassi:
[Shocked] Murdered?

Ryan:
Yes, stabbed in the back! And the dagger's been a favorite Latin weapon since Nero played with matches!

Dr. Doremus - Coroner:
[after being called for the third time] I'd like to rent a room here until they finish this case.

Ryan:
[as they are entering the front doo] By the way, Philo, how was the weiner schnitzel over there?

Philo Vance:
Hmmm, mostly bread and water!

Philo Vance:
[Finding no knife hole in the robe Coe was apparently stabbed in] This complicates things a bit.

Ryan:
Hunh?

Philo Vance:
You still think it was suicide?

Ryan:
It's clear he couldn't have slugged, shot, and stabbed himself... particularly in the back.